Changing my mind

[Awkward]

I know you guys are sick of me. I'm seriously doubting my decision to stay at my current job. I talked to my boss and he seemed surprised that I wanted to stay. He says from his prespective I've somewhat checked out and obviously want to be elsewhere, and he knows that I want to be closer to my SO. Ouch. I've really been trying HARD to keep up with my job, so hearing this is hard. He emphasized that there's no hard feelings whatsoever, he just doesn't think I could really be happy here. But, the other job is still open if I absolutely want it.

I went back and reread the thread and thought about all the other shit that's going on right now for me. And I'm thinking more and more that I need a fresh start.

My parents are going to be PISSED. Like, livid. They're convinced that you can't get a job unless you have a job and that if I just wait until President Romney ( 8-D ) takes over the economy will be much better in the spring. I guess I didn't realize how much their politics were coloring their opinions on my prospects.

I know I'm coming off with b l i s s level trainwreckiness and immaturity, but this is really killing me. I haven't slept much since the original discussion with my boss. I think I lack the confidence to be ok with going against what my parents want for me. I didn't go to the college they wanted and I still wonder if they were right and my life would be so much better if I had just listened to them.

I think I know what I need to do. I'm just too scared.

[dexteroni]

Ooh. It sounds like your boss gave you that choice expecting and hoping that you would go, so I would say it's time to do so. You're not a train wreck. It's a big decision and it deserves serious consideration, which is what you're giving it.

Going against your parents' wishes with confidence is hard, and it's definitely a big lesson in being a grownup. But you are the only person who knows what the right choice is for you. Good luck!

[LoveTrains]

Where is a link to the OP? I think I missed this.

[Awkward]

Oct 11, 2012 10:15:29 GMT -5 LoveTrains said:

Where is a link to the OP? I think I missed this.

Original post--- pandce.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=mm&action=display&thread=66877&page=1

Follow Up--- pandce.proboards.com/index.cgi?action=display&board=mm&thread=68746&page=1

[mbcdefg]

If you want to make a change in your life, I would say that now is the time to do so ... you're young, you don't have your own family to worry about just yet, you have the finances to back it up.

[Deleted]

Oct 11, 2012 10:13:15 GMT -5 dexteroni said:

Ooh. It sounds like your boss gave you that choice expecting and hoping that you would go, so I would say it's time to do so.

Yes, you need to go.

[pugz]

I think you need to go, you are an adult, own your decision and tell your parents to back off.

and lol at "President Romney" fixing the economy by the spring, they be trippin

[livinitup]

He was "surprised" becuase you seem so "checked-out"? That's some weird mixed messages. Either they are walking you out of a job OR they are offering you one. They can't do both and then get surprised when you ACCEPT the job.

And, again, does this "support" include Unemplyment Benefits? Like - you can apply and they won't say that you quit or got fired for cause. Becuase this guy keeps talking about how much he's going to "support" you after you leave and I really need to know if that include financial support - becuase really, this is a paying gig for you and $$ is really the bottom line.

And if it's a NO then take the job and earn your salary and look elsewhere.

[Awkward]

Oct 11, 2012 11:07:30 GMT -5 livinitup said:

He was "surprised" becuase you seem so "checked-out"? That's some weird mixed messages. Either they are walking you out of a job OR they are offering you one. They can't do both and then get surprised when you ACCEPT the job.

And, again, does this "support" include Unemplyment Benefits? Like - you can apply and they won't say that you quit or got fired for cause. Becuase this guy keeps talking about how much he's going to "support" you after you leave and I really need to know if that include financial support - becuase really, this is a paying gig for you and $$ is really the bottom line.

And if it's a NO then take the job and earn your salary and look elsewhere.

Can you explain to me a little bit more about how to do this? Do I come right out and ask them to say it's a layoff and use that reason when I apply for future jobs?

[livinitup]

Yes, you ask your boss and follow-up with HR to make sure they won't fight you on an Unemployment Benefits claim. Then you file and pick one of the reasons that qualify for UI - like organization restructue, position eliminated, lay-off, whatever your state has set-up. I've been at companies that will fire for cause and STILL not fight it becuase it's so time consuming and expensive - even when they have a lot of evidence.

Let me be clear, in your situation, they ARE offering you a job, so it doesn't strictly qualify - because you are quitting voluntarily. But that doesn't really matter. And as nice as this boss has been, his latest "really, you seem so checked-out" is really starting to feel like a hostile work environment in a really passive-aggressive way. Like they are trying to get you to quit - which is really sketchy.

I would just ask boss, "I'm getting a lot of mixed messages from you. You offered me the job and now say you are 'surprised' that I want it. When you said you'd support me "in any way I needed" to leave and look for a new job, did this include Unemployment Insurance. If I make a claim, are you going to fight me on getting benefits?"

[Awkward]

Oct 11, 2012 11:41:58 GMT -5 livinitup said:

Yes, you ask your boss and follow-up with HR to make sure they won't fight you on an Unemployment Benefits claim. Then you file and pick one of the reasons that qualify for UI - like organization restructue, position eliminated, lay-off, whatever your state has set-up. I've been at companies that will fire for cause and STILL not fight it becuase it's so time consuming and expensive - even when they have a lot of evidence.

Let me be clear, in your situation, they ARE offering you a job, so it doesn't strictly qualify - because you are quitting voluntarily. But that doesn't really matter. And as nice as this boss has been, his latest "really, you seem so checked-out" is really starting to feel like a hostile work environment in a really passive-aggressive way. Like they are trying to get you to quit - which is really sketchy.

I would just ask boss, "I'm getting a lot of mixed messages from you. You offered me the job and now say you are 'surprised' that I want it. When you said you'd support me "in any way I needed" to leave and look for a new job, did this include Unemployment Insurance. If I make a claim, are you going to fight me on getting benefits?"

Ok, that makes a lot of sense. I seriously appreciate the input. Cross your fingers I can get him and HR to agree.

[mrshandy]

Ugh what a tough decision. I'm one of the people that said you should go for it. But that comes from my intense dislike of long distance relationships.

I agree that it sounds like they were hoping you would move on.

Good luck in your decision. Make this your decision though not your parents. It's hard to go against with what they say. But you have to live your own life.

[hannamaren]

You are a grown up. Parents are great for opinions, but this is your decision. I would definitely take SO's opinion into the greatest consideration. I admit that I still send house ads to my parents for input on what we should buy, so I know what it can be like.

I agree with PP that you are a good candidate to do this. You are young, have a cushion, etc.