Discipline for a 1 yr old? Is there any?

[hannamaren]

I try to distract her when she starts to do something "bad" like eating shoes or climbing on the couch. I read to only say "no" if it is dangerous. So I try that.
And I try to sing songs to keep her occupied, etc.

But getting into the stroller has become a war. I know she wants to go out because she stands by the door. She is excited when I put her coat on. But then to get her into the stroller is impossible. She arches her back and slides down. I tried the other stroller...nothing. Yesterday, I had to hold her with my body while I quickly buckled her in (screaming the whole time) and today I bribed her with cookies (1 for each hand) which will not be healthy in the long run.

Sometimes we have to go out. (doctors appt) but most often we are going somewhere fun (early yrs centre for circle time, etc). I think she wants to crawl wherever we go.
Tips?

[ijack]

with something like the stroller I don't think discipline is needed - just use your muscles and buckle her in while telling her that she needs to sit down. I wouldn't bribe her, the stroller is a necessity.
For things she shouldn't be doing I say "no!" and redirect. My "no" changes based on the severity of the issue.

[bunch]

I don't know for your specific situation but I say No a lot and actually use time out. I'm admittedly strict, but it seems to be working. At least dd no longer eats the dog's food.

A normal scenario would be dd grabbing the dogs food and I would sternly say "no, we do not play in the Dog's food" and then I'd redirect. If she went back over and did it again I'd say "uh oh, hazel played in the Dog's food, time out." Then I'd walk her to the corner and leave her there (she has the ability to walk away immediately." Now if I say "uh oh, hazel did x. Time out". She immediately stops what she's doing and walks away.

[Ashley&Scott]

M fights getting in his car seat in a similar fashion. I buckle as quickly as possible, talk to him in a soothing voice & hand him a toy. Most of the time he settles down as soon as I finish buckling him up.

[h]

I personally don't think any form of discipline but distraction and/or redirection is appropriate for a one-year old. With the stroller issue, I agree with ijack--just keep putting her in it even if she arches her back and don't bribe her, and eventually she will get that it's not a choice.

[Deleted]

Sometimes you do what you've got to do. DS gets forced into his car seat if he won't cooperate. I do try to explain ("You have to sit so we can drive.") simply as I bend him, hold him, and buckle him.

Sometimes something weird will work... brushing teeth was a total nightmare until he started holding his toothpaste in one hand and a toothbrush in the other (we use a different one to actually brush his teeth). Now, he likes it.

I really like "Positive Discipline: The First Three Years" for a book that describes normal behavior and gives some tips on how to deal with it.

[sarahlindsay]

I've had the same problems in the past, and it's definitely hard when they're 1 because there isn't any reasoning with them. And this might sound like a really silly suggestion, but sometimes it has helped me to have a specific little song about what we're doing - both as a distraction and to get them to be a little more positive about it. I can't say it'll work, of course - lol. Or sometimes if you just start doing Old McDonald or something it'll refocus them enough not to be fighting it so much?

[takeonyou]

For the stroller thing, can you get her a stroller for a doll? I find that once kids have one of their own to play with, it makes things easier. In my daycare I have a shopping cart, stroller, high chair, etc. for the dolls since these are common points where younger kids will try and assert power. Even though she is young for that sort of playing, there is an awesome walker/stroller that I have. Great for babies who are cruising.

I would just calmly tell her how you are going to get into the stroller and go to wherever you are going. Maybe give her a special toy/book only to be used in the stroller.

It's ok to say no. In fact, it helps kids learn limits. "No" is best for discipline situations whereas "Stop!" is better for danger situations. Almost all kids will stop when told, but the word no is common so it doesn't carry the same weight.

[bunch]

Oct 11, 2012 10:25:25 GMT -5 sarahlindsay said:

I've had the same problems in the past, and it's definitely hard when they're 1 because there isn't any reasoning with them. And this might sound like a really silly suggestion, but sometimes it has helped me to have a specific little song about what we're doing - both as a distraction and to get them to be a little more positive about it. I can't say it'll work, of course - lol. Or sometimes if you just start doing Old McDonald or something it'll refocus them enough not to be fighting it so much?

I sing the "we're clipping your fingernails!" a lot.

[hannamaren]

Oct 11, 2012 10:20:34 GMT -5 bunch said:

I don't know for your specific situation but I say No a lot and actually use time out. I'm admittedly strict, but it seems to be working. At least dd no longer eats the dog's food.

A normal scenario would be dd grabbing the dogs food and I would sternly say "no, we do not play in the Dog's food" and then I'd redirect. If she went back over and did it again I'd say "uh oh, hazel played in the Dog's food, time out." Then I'd walk her to the corner and leave her there (she has the ability to walk away immediately." Now if I say "uh oh, hazel did x. Time out". She immediately stops what she's doing and walks away.

I think I have to wait until Layla is a bit older for this. But I am intrigued. Does she freak out when you move her to the corner?
I was reading something and it said that at 1yr, they dont always have the ability to remember something from the day before. So the first time, she can get away with it, but after that...
I almost trying to praise her good behaviour a lot more.

[bunch]

Oct 11, 2012 10:37:08 GMT -5 hannamaren said:

Oct 11, 2012 10:20:34 GMT -5 bunch said:

I don't know for your specific situation but I say No a lot and actually use time out. I'm admittedly strict, but it seems to be working. At least dd no longer eats the dog's food.

A normal scenario would be dd grabbing the dogs food and I would sternly say "no, we do not play in the Dog's food" and then I'd redirect. If she went back over and did it again I'd say "uh oh, hazel played in the Dog's food, time out." Then I'd walk her to the corner and leave her there (she has the ability to walk away immediately." Now if I say "uh oh, hazel did x. Time out". She immediately stops what she's doing and walks away.

I think I have to wait until Layla is a bit older for this. But I am intrigued. Does she freak out when you move her to the corner?
I was reading something and it said that at 1yr, they dont always have the ability to remember something from the day before. So the first time, she can get away with it, but after that...
I almost trying to praise her good behaviour a lot more.

no, she doesn't freak out, she generally seems aware that she did something wrong before I put her there. The idea is that there is an immediate consequence for an action. So I don't say "you were bad, here is your punishment" instead it's "you chose this action, here is the consequence". It went along with my goal for her to be very independent. Another example is that when she throws food off her chair to the dog we say "uh oh, hazel threw her food, dinner is over" and then we take her tray immediately. If I think she wasn't done (and usually she just does this at the end of the meal anyway) I spoon feed her.

The dog's food and water sits out all day and she hasn't touched it in weeks. So there's that.

Eta: the reason you don't continue saying no is that it loses meaning without consequence, or so the method says .

[hannamaren]

Bnchanums, you are my Mommy role model. I hope Layla can be as well behaved/adjusted as Hazel seems to be.

[bunch]

Bwahahahaha. You need much higher standards.

[Deleted]

I do the song singing thing too. It really helps. " this is the way we wash our face" ect. Also I ignore DS if something is not dangerous. Like putting his shoes in his mouth. I will say " No, no Charlie I am very serious & I will not discuss it further." then I walk around the corner. Usually he wants my attention enough to stop the behavior & crawl to me.