WWYD: Hand me downs

[hereonceagain]

So a friend asks if I want her girl's old clothes that no longer fit. She has top quality cute clothes so I say yes and I was thrilled. She says she will bring everything over the next day once she organizes it. So she brings the stuff by and my DD and I look at some of he adorable outfits. As she is leaving, she throws in "just make sure once your DD grows out of it, you return it for my next DD". I didn't know what to say. I doubt most the clothes will look decent after my DD gets a years wear in them. I'd prefer to not take them now.

WWYD??

[Deleted]

Hmmm tricky. One of my friends sat down and sharpied her DD's initials into all the hand me downs she gave us. I figure that we'll give her back everything after our daughter is done, and my friend can go through it and throw out whatever is worn out. Shrug. She knew giving the clothes to us that they'd be used.

[GailGoldie]

too bad you didn't know to ask before hand.... whenever people have offered clothes I always say "as long as you don't want them back- b/c i don;t' want to stress about them getting ruined or lost, etc".... I won't take clothes from people who want them back - I do NOT have time to deal with that kind of organization, etc.

i'd just let her know you appreciate it but after looking at it- it's all too nice and you'd worry about it getting ruined- so you'd rather give it back and not stress.

[Becca]

Oct 13, 2012 17:09:07 GMT -5 GailGoldie said:

too bad you didn't know to ask before hand.... whenever people have offered clothes I always say "as long as you don't want them back- b/c i don;t' want to stress about them getting ruined or lost, etc".... I won't take clothes from people who want them back - I do NOT have time to deal with that kind of organization, etc.

i'd just let her know you appreciate it but after looking at it- it's all too nice and you'd worry about it getting ruined- so you'd rather give it back and not stress.

This. I refuse to take hand-me-downs from people who want them back. Not worth it.

And I never hand-down anything that I would want back.

[biscoffcookies]

The only clothing hand-me-downs I have taken were things like infant snowsuits that are unlikely to suffer a lot of wear (as they are worn only occasionally and the baby isn't doing anything but sitting in a stroller). I would not take a hand-me-down of "normal" clothes that would be worn on a day-to-day basis.

[mrsbro]

Oct 13, 2012 17:09:07 GMT -5 GailGoldie said:

too bad you didn't know to ask before hand.... whenever people have offered clothes I always say "as long as you don't want them back- b/c i don;t' want to stress about them getting ruined or lost, etc".... I won't take clothes from people who want them back - I do NOT have time to deal with that kind of organization, etc.

i'd just let her know you appreciate it but after looking at it- it's all too nice and you'd worry about it getting ruined- so you'd rather give it back and not stress.

This is exactly my thoughts, I can't handle the stress so I would give them back.

Sent from The Droid

[Deleted]

I'm dealing with this right now with my SIL and cloth diapers. She wants every piece ever. I swear she has an inventory of what she gave us.

Did I mention its been 3.5 years since she gave it to me? And that her DD is 6.5?

I'd say no thank you.

[satama]

I would give it all back. Too much to worry about returning it.

[dragonfly08]

The only person I take hand me downs from who would like them back is my sister. But it's not for her own kid...she just takes whatever is still usable back to pass on again to her SILs daughter, sell on eBay, or donate for tax purposes. If something gets ruined and I toss it, she's absolutely fine with that. Heck, if I mistakenly donated or gave away an entire box of her stuff she'd just shrug and say "no problem".

I would never borrow from someone who really cared about getting it back for their own personal use. Too much stress about keeping it clean and remembering what belongs to whom (bad enough separating it out from your own stuff, but I get hand me downs here and there from four different people, so I could never keep that straight!).

[vanillacourage]

Does she in fact have another younger daughter?

[arch01]

Meh, one of our good friends gave us all of her DS' clothes and wants them all back. There's an understanding though that babies will be babies and shit happens, but I do do my best to get all stains out of clothes (whether they're mine or not). It's been easy for us, I mark everything I've bought on the tag, so I know if it's not marked, it's not mine. This also works really well for us and DC so there's no confusion if there's an outfit change what's his.

I keep everything sorted by size and once he's outgrown something, I sort it again by what belongs to whom. It has yet to be an issue 9 months in.

[Becca]

Oct 14, 2012 14:05:50 GMT -5 arch01 said:

I keep everything sorted by size and once he's outgrown something, I sort it again by what belongs to whom. It has yet to be an issue 9 months in.

How in the world do you remember who gave you what?

[bunch]

Oct 14, 2012 14:05:50 GMT -5 arch01 said:

Meh, one of our good friends gave us all of her DS' clothes and wants them all back. There's an understanding though that babies will be babies and shit happens, but I do do my best to get all stains out of clothes (whether they're mine or not). It's been easy for us, I mark everything I've bought on the tag, so I know if it's not marked, it's not mine. This also works really well for us and DC so there's no confusion if there's an outfit change what's his.

I keep everything sorted by size and once he's outgrown something, I sort it again by what belongs to whom. It has yet to be an issue 9 months in.

I do the same, but it's only from one family so I know what they gave me vs what I've bought. At first dd wore a ton of it, now I only let her wear the pants and jackets because she ruins so many shirts. My biggest issue now is that friend's 5 mo old daughter is starting to wear some 6-12 mo stuff, which dd can still wear, so I have to keep on top of making sure I'm giving her everything back in a timely manner. It really has saved me a lot not having to buy jackets and jeans.

[arch01]

Oct 14, 2012 14:40:47 GMT -5 Becca said:

Oct 14, 2012 14:05:50 GMT -5 arch01 said:

I keep everything sorted by size and once he's outgrown something, I sort it again by what belongs to whom. It has yet to be an issue 9 months in.

How in the world do you remember who gave you what?

As I said, we got hand me downs from one friend. Hers aren't marked, the stuff I bought is.

[madringal]

My sister and I both have girls. I gave all of DD1's stuff to her and we marked it all. Then when I had DD2, she gave it all back. And she has marked her DD's stuff as well, so if I borrow something of theirs, I can give it back. It is a great system, but we are sisters so I am sure that helps. We don't pass around stuff that has sentimental value (Christmas dress, dedication dress, etc), and we don't worry if something gets stained/dirty. We figure we are saving a lot of money, so having to throw a few things out is no biggie.

[Deleted]

I borrowed a ton of my freinds baby clothes and shoes. I knew she would want them back. She has the tags sharpied with initials and we both stated that I am not responsible if any of them get messed up. Shit happens and she would rather me use them then keep them stored in case for her "hypothetical baby."

The clothes I borrowed are really nice too. Carters, baby gap, janie and jack etc etc.

We are super close and discussed "what if" they got messed up. It is not stressing me out at all actually.

ETA : I would only borrow from her to keep things in the closet simple.

[birdmom]

I'd probably just keep them separate, not use them and give them back to her later on.

[pamela]

I don't take clothes from people who want them all back. I will of course pass my hand me downs on to the next person, but I can't guarantee a particular outfit will make it back to the same person. I also hold back any special family hand me downs from giving to friends for that reason.