Post by hellzkitten on May 21, 2012 11:34:22 GMT -5
I would make him more motivated. I am exhausted keeping up with all "my responsibilities" while he seems to shrug "his" off, doing something he would rather (like play video games).
Post by hisno1girl on May 21, 2012 11:36:01 GMT -5
I wish he would be punctual.
When I say we have to leave for something at 11:00 a.m. that means I am walking out the door at 11:00 a.m. Not 11:04 or 11:07.
I give him plenty of warnings and we still never leave on time or I am out stewing in the car because he will walk out of the house and turn around to go back in like a MILLION TIMES and I have to wait.
His memory. Its almost like 50 first dates. Kind of along those lines, pitching in around the house. I have to tell him what needs to be done because he cant remember. "Can you pack SDs lunches? ...."Oh yeahhhhhh they have to eat lunch tomorrow..."
Communicating and temper...He comes from a family of yellers and I definitely come from a family of sweep it under the rug and it will disappear. Those don't always mix well.
His obsession with working out/being healthy. He was very overweight up until 2 years ago when he made a complete lifestyle change very few people can understand or perform. Works out minimum of 2 hours a day and eats a ton of healthy food (which is very pricey) and all add up to stressing me out about paying down some debt we wanted to get rid of prior to having kids.
Post by melindafelinda on May 21, 2012 11:46:51 GMT -5
Stop overreacting to minor frustrations. Although he has improved upon this a lot once I learned that mocking him was not the way to make him realize he was being ridiculous.
Stop overreacting to minor frustrations. Although he has improved upon this a lot once I learned that mocking him was not the way to make him realize he was being ridiculous.
This is kind of what I meant by 'spaz'. I've learned that the best thing is silence so that their stupidity hangs alone in the air.
Last week he called a hammer a cunt. As in "hammer, you are a CUNT." He doesn't really use swear words so I think that was the worst word he could think of. I died of laughter. Now I walk around calling random objects cunts.
His ability to open up when he is stressed/angry/frustrated. He's a "bottler" and I'm a gusher so then we tend to butt heads because he knows the second I feel sad or upset and often times he'll "snipe fight" by dropping these bombs on me about how I didn't help with dinner 3 weeks ago and it really angered him.
He's working on it. He knows I'd rather have them be like, "Hey, get your ass off the couch and help me" right now than 3 weeks later being all "YEAH WELL, YOU DIDN'T HELP ME MAKE RISOTTO THAT ONE TIME 3 WEEKS AGO WHEN I WAS BUSY GRILLING STEAKS!"
This is kind of what I meant by 'spaz'. I've learned that the best thing is silence so that their stupidity hangs alone in the air.
Last week he called a hammer a cunt. As in "hammer, you are a CUNT." He doesn't really use swear words so I think that was the worst word he could think of. I died of laughter. Now I walk around calling random objects cunts.
Post by pantsparty on May 21, 2012 12:06:21 GMT -5
He'd be less obsessive about getting stuff done. Basically, more lazy like me so I don't feel bad when he's getting shit done while I'm doing nothing on the internets.
I would make him more motivated. I am exhausted keeping up with all "my responsibilities" while he seems to shrug "his" off, doing something he would rather (like play video games).
This is what I would say, minus the video game part. In fact this is a big part of the reason that we're going to start marriage counseling this summer. I can't take it anymore, and I don't want to pay the consequences for stabbing him in the kidney one night as he sleeps.
His motivation. He's a really great husband and father, but he thinks his responsibilities end there. Since we had the girls, he does literally no home or outside maintenance unless I ask 20 times...even simple things like picking up hoses and sprinklers and putting them away. It's frustrating. This also extends to work...I think he is happy with going in, doing the minimum, and getting his paycheck. The problem is that the company will be his in 5 years, and he needs to step up his involvement and education so that he is ready to take over when the time comes. On the flipside, I'm really glad he's not a workaholic, so I guess you can't have it both ways. But for real, pick up the hoses.
Post by lightbulbsun on May 21, 2012 12:17:21 GMT -5
I wish he would want to go to the gym with me more. We used to go together 2-3x a week, but he hasn't been in months (even though we're still paying for his membership, grr). He says he's "too busy." Um, ok.
I wish he knew how to more empathetic when I'm upset about something. He has no idea what to say so he usually says nothing at all. I keep telling him that a simple "I understand, that sucks" will normally suffice but he just doesn't get it.