Recipe sharing - am I just being weird?

[fassinated]

Good Morning! (first time posting here and I'm on my phone, so please excuse any errors or weird formatting!)

I have a good friend who asks me for the recipe for EVERY single thing I make. Whether it's a dish I've brought to a party, something I've made for her when she's come over for dinner, even dishes I've made for other people that she has only heard about. EVERY recipe. At first I was flattered, and of course I shared them with her, even some family recipes. Now that it has happened over and over, it's really starting to bother me. I know it's irrational - she doesn't make "my" recipes for our shared friends, and always tells me when she makes them for someone else and gives me "credit".

But it still bothers me a little. I KNOW it shouldn't and I should just be flattered. I think what it boils down to is that I put a lo of time and energy into "perfecting" what I make. I try out new recipes for just my H and I before I make and serve them to other people - that way I can tweak as needed. I've spent a lot of time browsing recipes, coming up with a nice meal plan where drinks, appetizers, entree, sides and dessert all work nicely together. And I guess I feel like I'm just handig her all that time and prep work when I share the recipes.

I've thought about just giving her the original recipes without my tweaks, but then I would feel bad if she made a dish and it didn't come out like she expected. And I have withheld recipes a couple times by saying they were family recipes and I would prefer not to share. Which she was fine with.

Anyhow, this is gettig so long and I'm sorry! It's just on my mind because she is coming for dinner on Thursday. I have a great dish in mind that has become something of a "signature" dish of mine. I KNOW she'll ask for the recipe and I just plain don't want to share it. I know it's so petty and dumb.

Does anyone else ever feel this way? I just need to get over it, right? Feel free to flame away!

[jennistarr1]

well the whole logic of handing over your work I think is you just trying to think of why it bothers you and it's illogical. Frankly, I think it's annoying to have to keep writing out recipes. I would just casually forget to send them to her or say "darn, I can't find it...I usually use this website)

[fassinated]

Yes, you could be right. I think it's the frequency that really bohers me. I don't mind sharing some recipes, but I do feel like I should be able to have some of my own "specialities" and keep them to myself I guess.

At the end of the day I need to just get over it. She's a good friend who is always generous with me. Thanks!

[Deleted]

because of the frequency I understand your irritation. However, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

I dont mind sharing recipes but sometimes it takes me a while to sit down and write it out or to remember to copy it for someone.

I remember someone made cookies that reminded me so much of my grandma who was no longer alive. They tasted just like what she used to make me and I would have LOVED to make those and remember my child hood. Well that person told me "I dont share recipes". I always remembered she told me that and have felt a bit of bitterness towards her ever since!!

[atouchofklasse]

I think you are overreacting. Wouldn't bother me.

[atouchofklasse]

Oct 17, 2012 11:30:13 GMT -5 @peggyolson said:

You can always do what my grandma did for decades.. leave out a minor but very important ingredient.

And then she gives the op credit for a subpar recipe?

[jillybean]

Oct 17, 2012 11:30:13 GMT -5 @peggyolson said:

You can always do what my grandma did for decades.. leave out a minor but very important ingredient.

Lol! that was an "everybody loves raymond" episode...debra wanted Marie's recipes and Marie didn't want to give them to her. Marie glued a label over another spice label and gave Debra the recipes with the one fake ingredient. Then Debra thought the reason she couldn't replicate the recipe was because she wasn't Marie with the magic touch.

Sent from my SGH-T999 using proboards

[misshark122]

I don't understand not sharing recipes. Unless you're going to open your own restaurant or write a cook book or something, I just don't get it!

[msmerymac]

If it's every time she eats something of yours, it probably gets time consuming to just sit down and send her the damn recipes!

Some suggestions:

How does she ask? If it's in person at your house or a party, just stall. Say, "Oh, definitely, I'll send that to you later." And then "forget" to send it. If it's through email, you could say, "Oh, I'm at work and I have the recipe at home - I'll try to find it, but I might not get home until late tonight." (Which also implies that it's a PITA and you have better things to do than type out and email recipes to her.)

Second, you could throw a pot luck where everyone brings a dish with a stack of recipe cards for those who want to take them. Then SHE would also be forced to bring one of her recipes and you can give her your recipe guilt-free. At least she won't be pestering you, and maybe she can collect a bunch of other recipes at the same time, which will keep her busy for a while.

You can also just stop inviting her over for dinner.