We are definitely feeling more ready to have a baby. I want one, pure and simple. However, both DH & I are having a really hard time imagining the lifestyle change.
We simply LOVE our life right now, and while I logically understand and can imagine the trade-offs and shifts in priorities, etc., it is also hard to give up a really, really good thing. DH saw a TED Talk where they said it has been proven that the happiest time in life is just BEFORE you have kids. That terrified him.
No, my life is not boring. Honestly, filling my free time with kids soccer games and playdates sounds way more boring than anything I currently spend my time on, including the random Saturday spent on the couch in my pajamas.
Having a kid encouraged me to become more social, better planned, and to more efficiently pursue my hobbies because time is really limited. Playdates, for the record, are awesome because I get to talk to my friends while our kids entertain each other. I remain disinterested in soccer games.
My pre-kid life wasn't quite boring, but I also have a hard time telling you what I did to fill all the time DS now takes up. I think I must have watched a lot more TV.
My life can be boring sometimes, exhausting other times and really fun and amazing other times. I imagine that is what it will be like when I have kids too. We're taking the opportunity now to start businesses/go to school/do home remodel projects now before we have kids, because we do have more time and fewer responsibilities.
I some ways, yes. When I first moved here, I made friends with a group that has all procreated in the last 3 years, and I am now rarely invited to hang out because it primarily centers around play dates, mom's groups, swimming lessons, etc. We hang out occasionally, but I miss it. It's hard feeling like you're back at square one making friends in a new city.
Not even a little bit. I absolutely have more down time than my friends with kids, but just because I sit on the couch for three hours and read every post on mm doesn't make me bored. I love that quiet time and I plan for it.
I'm sure my life will be equally as interesting after having a kid too. It will just involve different activities.
FWIW, I don't think anyone in that thread said or implied that those without kids lead boring lives. Just that they fill their time differently now and have less down time to lounge around.
This one always kills me... as if those without children can't live meaningful lives. It's the mommy-martyr complex and it's entirely up to whomever is leading the life not that kids make it better, more exciting, etc.
Most people miss the step of being an interesting person and raising interesting people. Instead they think having kids is going to bring some kind of excitement to life and are disappointed when it's not what was expected.
This one always kills me... as if those without children can't live meaningful lives. It's the mommy-martyr complex and it's entirely up to whomever is leading the life not that kids make it better, more exciting, etc.
Most people miss the step of being an interesting person and raising interesting people. Instead they think having kids is going to bring some kind of excitement to life and are disappointed when it's not what was expected.
This one always kills me... as if those without children can't live meaningful lives. It's the mommy-martyr complex and it's entirely up to whomever is leading the life not that kids make it better, more exciting, etc.
Most people miss the step of being an interesting person and raising interesting people. Instead they think having kids is going to bring some kind of excitement to life and are disappointed when it's not what was expected.
Seriously, violets_are_blue is right--nobody on that thread was implying that anyone's life is boring and meaningless without kids. That's not at all what the thread is about. Did you even read it?
I happen to agree with you and part of the reason I did become more interesting after having a kid was because I had a double motivation to become more interesting--1) because I don't want to lose myself in the identity of just being someone's mom; and 2) because I want to be an example of a well-rounded person who passionately pursues her values to my daughter.
Post by Doggy Mommy on Oct 22, 2012 9:56:57 GMT -5
If our life without kids is occasionally boring, it isn't due to not having kids. It's due to not having enough money to always be doing fun stuff. However, our life isn't boring. We go to concerts on week nights (we are going to a concert tomorrow, went to one on Saturday, and the week before we went to one on Wednesday). We go on trips as the budget allows, walks with our dog every day, go out to eat, go to movies, and we do lots of fun things. We do many of the same things people with kids do but with the two of us or with our dog, and have plenty of fun.
Post by fortmyersbride on Oct 22, 2012 10:04:30 GMT -5
My life before kids was not boring, but slightly less chaotic. Like pp said, I had the chance to go out with friends or take somewhat spontaneous vacations. Now our schedule is more full, but a lot of it is mundane activities ( kids bday parties, school events).
I don't think so. It might be boring to other people, but I like it the way it is. I need a fair amount of down time to function well. I also enjoy being able to go to rodeos across the state and being gone until 2 am on a weekend, which would be less feasible with a child.
My life isn't at all boring. There are weeks when I have plans almost every night, plus I just started my own business, so I don't have time to get bored. I am the type of person who enjoys down time, though, so I don't consider that boring either.
Oh gosh no. I don't have time for all the hobbies I have. It's already too full, without kids! Sports, home improvements, travel, backpacking, photography, blah, blah blah.
I stumbled over to MM Moms. There is a post about life with kids. A few people mentioned that their life is less boring now that they have kids. This is something that I didn't expect. I know everyone's life is different, but I never imagined that my life would get even more exciting with kids. If anything, I thought it'd be a little more predictable/boring.
So the question if you don't have kids now, do you consider your life boring? Why or why not?
I don't find my life boring and enjoy the spontaneity, being on the go a lot and certain unknowns.
This is my theory too. We're DINKS, and TTC-ish. Our life is far from boring right now, but it's not crazy exciting either. But I can imagine not being able to go on a weekend getaway, or a fun night out whenever we please once we have kids. I think having kids will pull you all over the place, hence the sense of being busy/not boring.
My life isn't at all boring. There are weeks when I have plans almost every night, plus I just started my own business, so I don't have time to get bored. I am the type of person who enjoys down time, though, so I don't consider that boring either.
This too. I enjoyed sitting on my ass and watched "Property Ladders" all Saturday morning.
I think life seems boring lately, but it is mostly because our lives have been consumed with demanding but non-rewarding jobs.
With that said, I do find that I have been thinking about kids more lately, so there is definitely a connection there. But, when I think about them, I think of it as, "But if I have kids, when will I have time to <insert current interest/activity/or sleep>?" So, I guess it isn't so boring after all.
If someone likes constant action/go-go-go stuff, then they'd find my life to be pretty boring. It's incredibly laid back.
I don't find my life to be boring at all. I'm really fulfilled by the volunteer work I do, my marriage, my friendships, and relationships with family. And by copious amounts of down time.
Definitely not. I spend way more time completely overwhelmed than bored.
That said, the only time I could potentially picture myself with children was when I was abroad for work for a few months and DH couldn't be there the whole time. I spent a lot of time alone and definitely got bored (different country, different language, and I don't make friends very quickly). I started to think, "huh, I wonder if this is why some people have kids?"
I do *not* believe that boredom is the reason most people have kids. I just think it might be the case for some.
Completely off track, but auberge is that the infamous realtor/webcam story in your signature?