Let's Liven Things Up

[EloiseWeenie]

Let's find crazy craigslist postings from you local area.

Oh, make sure there's no porn attached, LOL

[Llama in Mules]

newjersey.craigslist.org/rnr/3029679430.html

[EloiseWeenie]

This guy has anger issues:

things that tick me off

1. I would just like to stress how I really hate having a breatherlyzer on my car. Planning a long road trip is so damn exhausting.
2. I hate that some of the most fuckable people I come across are in my college class and are married. This includes my professors.
3. I really hate when people write checks in a long ass line, damn it you should have had the fucker filled out during the ring up so all you had to do was fill in the amount.
4. People who post ads on here saying "send a pic or I won't respond" YET YOU DON'T HAVE YOUR FUCKING PIC UP YOU PRICK BASTARD.
5. People that try and guess what race I am so they can slap some type of label on me. Dick Face!
6. People that have no ability to talk to someone over the phone. Like they can't formulate a sentence and tell me what the fuck they want. Click, call back when you pull your head from your ass.
7. The fact the music of today will never match the music of my era.
8. People who don't think it is possible to have a good time without mind altering substances. ( don't say shit, just because I have a breatherlyzer doesn't mean I need liquor. Just means I got caught that one time.................)
9. Working so long and so hard only to come home to an empty home.
10. People that settle, just so they can say they have someone but then do nothing but complain about them.
11. The fact that we don't have a gay club or nudist resorts closer than New Bern, Wilmington or Shallotte.
12. The fact that the only thing on tv during late night hours when I can't sleep only make me feel like I am not good enough commercials.
13. To the fucktards that planned that fucking half marathon thru my damn neighbor in Northwoods that I had to drive 20 blocks out of my way to get home yesterday morning.
Use the damn track at the commons and stop fucking up my route.

That's my list for today, I am sure I will have more later

[Glitter Tits]

bloomington.craigslist.org/mis/3016438055.html

[Glitter Tits]

bloomington.craigslist.org/mis/3013205257.html
This one is better than the first. "My balls start to make pudding inside you instantly."

[EloiseWeenie]

Same ranter as before (I think he's hilarious)

1. Why is it that I can sit around my home and watch movies all day long and go pee maybe once. However, if I go to the movie theater. And I go before the movie starts, that it never fails I have to go again right when shit gets good. Whether it is 30mins in or an hour thrity. Damn it.
2. The prize of movie tickets.
3. Even more so when it is 3d.
4. The price of refreshment at the movie theater, and the whole popcorn trap. Smell so good when you first walk in but by the time you get some it is stale. Damin it.!
5. Having to put a breatherlyzer on my car for one year after having my first dui offense. This mo fo thing is bs. Oh and don't plan on a long road trip because you have to stop every hr or so to restart. Damn it.
6. People that try and get me to come their church. Look if you do that and it makes you happy fine, but don't try and drag me to your weekly hypocrite meetings. Knowing damn good and well you act like Satan all fucking week, and think Sunday saves you. Then you want to catch an attitude with me cause because I say. "I don't go to church." Got no reason to lie, ask me again and I will tell you Satan wouldn't approve.
7. People that don't have manners.
8. Traffic whenever I am in a hurry.
9. Excessive tattoos that are not done in a tasteful manner.
10. People that make rude faces because I fart or burp in public. It is a fact of life and don't act like you don't do it.
11. The corrupt so called justice system.
12. People that complain about politics yet they don't vote.

[Llama in Mules]

May 21, 2012 20:41:55 GMT -5 Glitter Tits said:

bloomington.craigslist.org/mis/3013205257.html
This one is better than the first. "My balls start to make pudding inside you instantly."

I just threw up in my mouth a little.

[EloiseWeenie]

Grandma Mona is selling cross stitch kits


Cross stitch kit is called All Is Calm by Dimensions Gold Collection

These kits are done in an artistic fashion so when you step back and look at it, it looks like a real picture. They are just gorgeous!

[EloiseWeenie]

Oh My Fug

[Glitter Tits]

How much is that vest? Are those barns puking pumpkins?

[meatywienert]

Dh and I had a romatic night and he read a bunch to me. This one made me laugh my ass off. In the mall there are all those annoying, pushy venders in the middle of the hallway. Well, this chick is really into one-

siouxcity.craigslist.org/mis/3000684666.html
EDIT-
NQB- this add is for you!
siouxcity.craigslist.org/cas/3022569146.html

[EloiseWeenie]

More like the barns are shitomiting pumpkins. The add said that vest panels were $2. I'm not sure what that means.

Who was it that wanted a Teddy Ruxpin (this was on the bump last month)? I found one for $15

[EloiseWeenie]

I'm going to have nightmares


ADORABLE CLAY BABIES. REALLY EXPENSIVE DOLLS, BUT I'M ONLY ASKING $20 EACH. I ONLY HAVE 2 LEFT. SEE PHOTOS. THE LARGER DOLL (WEARING RED) HAS A BROKEN FINGER.

[Llama in Mules]

May 21, 2012 21:11:10 GMT -5 EloiseWeenie said:

More like the barns are shitomiting pumpkins. The add said that vest panels were $2. I'm not sure what that means.

Who was it that wanted a Teddy Ruxpin (this was on the bump last month)? I found one for $15

Me! I wanted a Teddy Ruxpin and my mother bought me Bingo Bear instead...

[meatywienert]

Anyone want to buy a giant pile of panties?
siouxcity.craigslist.org/clo/3026008738.html

[Llama in Mules]

I think I need to come to Iowa!

[EloiseWeenie]

May 21, 2012 21:24:37 GMT -5 meatywienert said:

Anyone want to buy a giant pile of panties?
siouxcity.craigslist.org/clo/3026008738.html

I'm pretty sure when she said "purchased," she meant "shop lifted."

[meatywienert]

May 21, 2012 21:27:59 GMT -5 Llama in Mules said:

I think I need to come to Iowa!

Do you need me to have them hold that g string pile for you?? It's almost a new g string for every day of the year!

[Llama in Mules]

May 21, 2012 21:33:04 GMT -5 meatywienert said:

May 21, 2012 21:27:59 GMT -5 Llama in Mules said:

I think I need to come to Iowa!

Do you need me to have them hold that g string pile for you?? It's almost a new g string for every day of the year!

I don't want the g-strings, but you are making Iowa seem like a good time!

[meatywienert]

May 21, 2012 21:34:45 GMT -5 Llama in Mules said:

May 21, 2012 21:33:04 GMT -5 meatywienert said:

Do you need me to have them hold that g string pile for you?? It's almost a new g string for every day of the year!

I don't want the g-strings, but you are making Iowa seem like a good time!

It's pretty boring, that's why everyone's on CL trying to find a good time!

[dearprudence]

Here ya go. A whole string of crazy:
sandiego.craigslist.org/csd/mis/3024377238.html

sandiego.craigslist.org/csd/mis/3024591461.html

sandiego.craigslist.org/csd/mis/3025313167.html

[overture]

OMG this is so fucking gross.

sacramento.craigslist.org/cas/3030303724.html