Yes - DH works a crazy schedule and has been gone most of this week which is part of the problem. My in laws are going to take the kids all day Sunday so I can be alone.
Do you have ideas for what you're going to do with the day alone?
Do you have ideas for what you're going to do with the day alone?
Run, homework, maybe go to a movie....
All sound good. Hopefully sleep, too. Just wanted to make sure that you had some things planned in your head, so you didn't freak out when you found yourself alone for the day. I definitely remember days when I thought I wanted to be alone, and then realized I really needed to be "supervised", as I called it.
Next week. I went to my OB 2 weeks ago and they set up an appointment for me 3 weeks out I've been just trying to hold it together. If you saw my post - my family of origin (dad and brother) have been really abusive and piling on the last 2 months or so which I think is what sent me over the edge from irritable to crazy.
You guys are scaring me. I am embarrassed.
Don't be embarrassed. This isn't your fault.
And I certainly don't want to scare you, but I would say from what you described here, this is a mental health emergency. You really need to be seen by a doctor right away and you need to be 100% honest about your symptoms. Maybe you could print this off and show it to them?
There is so much treatment available and I promise you that you WILL feel better and more whole. But I think this is out the realm of expertise for your average therapist, and you certainly don't want to be waiting two weeks to be seen. Hugs sweetie.
Agree, esp. with the bolded part. And that doesn't mean you're "too crazy for help," in case you think that. It means that there are some shitty therapists and some good ones, and you need a good one right now. There are times in your life where you can waste time on a shitty therapist, but this isn't one of them. This is also why I recommended a psychiatrist and not just a regular therapist.
I'm going to recommend that you take yourself over to the ER and get yourself admitted. 3-5 days in patient therapy probably could do you a lot of good and get you started on meds if needed.
If you go to the ER you'll be seen right away
Seriously? OMG.
From what you described in you OP that's what I would do or recommend if it was a relative experiencing what you are experiencing.
It sounds like pretty severe PPD, but I'm not trained in anything related to mental health.
Don't be embarassed. I think a lot of us have been there, to some extent, and know how it feels. Try to get into the doctor sooner. When I called and told them that I think I have PPD, the receptionist made an appointment for me a week later, but the doc called me back right away to see me that day. It's good that you recognize that you need help.
I agree with septimus and I am not trying to be an alarmist at all. In fact I sat here trying to justifying saying you were fine to wait on this.
If you could get your therapist or doctor on the line right now and ask them what you should do. If you can't get a respond from a professional I would go to the ER.
I am sorry. Good for you for identifying these feelings.
Also please tell people around you that you are having these feelings. You need to use your support group right now. Call up your mom, go wake up your husband something. Don't keep these thoughts to yourself though. All the people around you love you and want to help you.
No judgement from me. And please, do not feel embarrassed. This gets discussed far to infrequently.
I have to say, I agree with septimus and eddy. Particularly if you can't get ahold of your doctor today to make a plan, you should probably get evaluated in the ER. Do you live in a larger city? Many larger hospitals have a psychiatrist on staff 24/7 for emergency evaluations. (Or consider googling "emergency psychiatric services" plus your city or state.)
You will feel better. You will enjoy your kids again. You deserve to be happy.
First of all, talking about this is a very good very brave thing to do. You do NOT have to feel like this. This isn't your fault and it's not something you are doing wrong.
Like the other ladies said. Get professional help ASAP. Talk to your obgyn and get a referral to a specialist. You are going to be okay.
No judgement from me. And please, do not feel embarrassed. This gets discussed far to infrequently.
I have to say, I agree with septimus and eddy. Particularly if you can't get ahold of your doctor today to make a plan, you should probably get evaluated in the ER. Do you live in a larger city? Many larger hospitals have a psychiatrist on staff 24/7 for emergency evaluations. (Or consider googling "emergency psychiatric services" plus your city or state.)
You will feel better. You will enjoy your kids again. You deserve to be happy.
I also want to note that when I say "out of the realm of expertise for an average therapist", I mean more specifically that you need to be seen by a pyschiatrist. And, like others who have posted here, I say that as someone who has needed (and continues to see) a psychiatrist for mental health issues. So there is ZERO judgment here. Please know that.
I am happy to talk via email or PM if you'd like. Walking down this road is scary and feeling like you're losing your mind is the absolute worst. BUT as someone who has been there, I can tell you that you can (and will!) absolutely feel 10000 times better. And you'll start to feel better the minute you know you have a treatment plan.
Do you feel like you have a handle on what your next steps should be? I know for me, one of the most overwhelming things was navigating how to find the type of doctor I needed to see. Like you, I was referred to a therapist by my OB. I ended up calling back a week or so later and said, "Look. This is an emergency and I need to be seen by a pyschiatrist NOW." And luckily they got me in the next day.
Thanks, Jenny. I just spoke w/ the office they referred me to. It IS just a therapist. I'm pretty overwhelmed and panicked right now that people think I should go to the emergency room. I don't think this warrants a trip to the ER and all that would take to manage but I also don't want to wait another week and see the wrong doctor who can't help me. The doctor's office suggested I come see the therapist and the therapist will refer me to someone else if need be ..... their psychiatric department is booked until December apparently. IDK. I feel like no one is taking me seriously but at the same time I think I am seriously downplaying how bad I feel. I asked them to put me on the cancellation list to get in earlier. I am clear I can't keep going like this but torn about declaring it an emergency. I am not going to hurt my kids or myself. I know that. If that changes I will drive mySELF to the hospital if I need to, but I don't see that happening.
My mom is travelling in Europe and I haven't been able to talk to her and I live across the country from my own family/friends. I am pretty sure the isolation is a huge cause of all of this. I am scared to talk to DH and I feel myself wanting to just pretend this never happened and keep doing what I've been doing
I promise I will talk to my husband when he gets up. Seriously. I worry that he is going to be defensive because due to his job he is also seriously sleep deprived and can't be around as much as we both wish he could be. He feels a lot of guilt about that and I'm worried I will make that all worse.
((Hugs)) Sirsleeps. You're going to feel so much better very soon.
Thank you.
And thanks everybody. I know posting here was the right thing to do. I guess I knew everyone would tell me what I already suspected and be supportive - it's giving me the courage to tell my IRL people what is going on. I guess I wanted someone else to just tell me it wasn't just that I'm a bad mom. I've been so ashamed of myself
do not be embarrassed! I'm glad you shared with us.
okay so criteria for being admitted to inpatient psych care is typically thoughts of harming yourself or others. It sounds like you have had those thoughts today and are generally struggling with anxiety and dark thoughts. So I do think it's advisable to go to the nearest ER and get screened. Preferably a hospital with behavioral health/psychiatric care on site.
your story reminded me of the blogger Dooce, who went through severe post partum depression and was hospitalized for a time. Here are a couple of her posts about the experience. Not to scare you but so you know that this happens to women and it's nothing to be ashamed of.
I agree that even if they don't admit you, which they may not esp if you aren't having suicidal thoughts, they can get you medication and a quick follow up with a psych. I know where I live there is a walk in behavioral health screening at one of the hospitals completely separate from the ER and they specialize in this kind of thing so you can bypass really long wait lists.
Post by dutchgirl678 on Oct 26, 2012 16:25:44 GMT -5
Don't feel embarassed about posting. As others have said it was very courageous of you to recognize the problem and talk to someone about it, even if it is a bunch of unknowns on the internet. While I agree that it will be good to get mental health help, I am wondering if you have any other symptoms such as fatigue or depression? A friend of mine recently told me she always feels tired (she has one LO) and depressed and she would also get these moments of rage. She thinks it is something to do with her thyroid and the meds she is receiving for them may not be optimal dosage for her. If you see someone, it may be good to also see a medical professional who can check your thyroid just to rule that out.
Hugs, I have 2 LOs of similar ages and I know how rough it can be sometimes. In fact, DH and I had a huge fight earlier in the week because he is so quick to spank sometimes and I hate it.
I might get flamed for this but I had servere anxiety and had reached my tipping point. It took everything in me to work up the courage to call the doctor and make a appointment. They could get in in 2 months later. I always downplay the severity of my symptoms and just said ok. I finally let my dh handle it for me. He called my doc and they got me in the next day. He also coordinated the initial therapy/psychologist appointment for me.
I might get flamed for this but I had servere anxiety and had reached my tipping point. It took everything in me to work up the courage to call the doctor and make a appointment. They could get in in 2 months later. I always downplay the severity of my symptoms and just said ok. I finally let my dh handle it for me. He called my doc and they got me in the next day. He also coordinated the initial therapy/psychologist appointment for me.
Why on earth would we flame you??
I thought I might get the side eye since I had to have my dh do the calling/coordinating for me.
I agree that you need to go to the ER. Have you read the heir to Blair blog? She experienced similar things. She checked herself in to a hospital to get the help she needed.
Please do the same. Hugs to you. You are not alone, but please get the help you need.
I thought I might get the side eye since I had to have my dh do the calling/coordinating for me.
Nononono! Never would you get flamed for this!
And Sirsleepsalot it might actually be easier for you to have your husband call. My friend IM'd me that his wife, also a good friend, was sobbing in the kitchen one night. I talked to her and she said she had just been so checked out and felt guilty was a bad mom etc. She was so in the midst of it that she couldn't pull away to seek help. Her husband called their OB and they got her in that day and called in a rx that night, I think.
If you don't want to go to the ER does your therapist have an emergency psychiatric hotline you can call?
I would call any MD that has a nightline or emergency line where someone will call you back tonight.
Post by suburbanzookeeper on Oct 26, 2012 17:33:12 GMT -5
My DH called my OB when I had a PPA/PPD attack and couldn't bring myself to admit that there was something wrong; they called in a prescription that night and had me seen the next morning. When I relapsed a few months later, my mom was the one who made the call - I could rationalize with myself that I was OK and that it was just a slip up but those around me knew otherwise and knew when I needed more. Don't be ashamed to let other people in, even if they aren't local (my mom was 1000 miles away).
Your insurance should have a mental helpline - call them, they should be staffed 24/7. They will be able to direct you to someone ASAP who will get you help. Please don't wait.
Post by GailGoldie on Oct 26, 2012 18:02:13 GMT -5
admitting you have something wrong is a HUGE step --- and it sounds significant - please talk to your husband - and I think going to the ER would be helpful.... and not being alone with the kids until you are treated. You are not a horrible person- something horrible is going on inside you chemically and can be fixed. Please, please make sure you are not alone with the kids until you are helped by doctors and your husband knows what is going on.
do not be ashamed - you should be proud that you reached out on here - that is such a huge thing.
Post by cherry1111 on Oct 26, 2012 18:16:42 GMT -5
I understand having trouble saying this sort of thing out loud. Could you call the dr and read them your post - don't leave anything out. If you're reading it to them it may be easier to tell them everything? I'm so sorry you're dealing with this but so glad that you had the courage to post and look for help.
I haven't read all of the responses yet, but I was pretty close to this. I got on Celexa and it made a world of difference. Good luck and please know that you are not alone.
Don't be embarrassed at all. I'm glad you made the effort to share your struggle with us. I hope you get the help you need ASAP. Sending so much love your way, mama.