Co-sleeping?

[Deleted]

Are you high? Drunk? On sleep medications? Parents that cause overlying deaths are nearly universally impaired.

I bedshared every night from the time we got home until around 6 months. We still share part of the night. To make it safe, you should: keep baby between you and a wall or bed rail, remove any extra pillows (1 per person), use a light blanket and keep it away from baby, don't swaddle baby while bedsharing, and obviously don't bedshare if you've taken sleeping medications, drugs, or alcohol.

Nursing while side lying meant we both fell asleep feeding. It was so easy. I wouldn't change a thing.

[rubytuesday]

Yes, there are safe ways to cosleep; an arms reach co-sleeper is the only one that I think I could be comfortable with, but the answer to this question is going to vary wildly depending on the opinions of the person answering. I never liked the idea of co-sleeping and we never did it. We were tired but we managed.

You have to decide for yourself if you want to co-sleep or not and then ask for help with the logistics depending on the direction you want to go.

[Wordtothewise]

Can you get a co-sleeper? That is the only way I would do it.

[dcrunnergirl]

We bedshare'd every so often with our twins when we were desperate and they just wouldn't sleep. However, we coslept using Arms Reach CoSleepers every night until they were 4 months. The cosleepers are great b/c they sidecar easily to the bed and the baby is right there next to you but has it's own space.

IMHO, that's the safest way. Our LC and OB nurses told us the most dangerous way was to fall asleep holding the babies or with it on your chest b/c it could roll off and fall if you fell asleep and lost your grip.

[ijack]

We always co-slept in side lying position - it worked for us

[karinothing]

DS slept on my chest for the first 2.5 months. Given the number of posts on teh Bump and other messages boards I visit that are titled "help my baby will only sleep on my chest" I am convinced that something like 90% of parents due this in the first weeks.

DS refused to sleep in teh arms reach co-sleeper he had to be on me. We tried the co-sleeper ever night and he would maybe last 5 minutes then scream. We would do pick up/put down for what seemed like forever until we just gave up. Finally one day we put him down and he slpet 7 hours, I think he was just ready.

I guess here is the way I look at it. MANY other cultures co-sleep/bedshare. And more babies die each year in their crib than they do in bedsharing/co-sleeping situations it is just those situations are the only ones that hit the news.

[karinothing]

May 22, 2012 12:20:38 GMT -5 @246baje said:

Thanks Kari, I know that in my home country lots of babies bed- share but seeing the news last night made me think "holy crap what am I doing". I appreciate your perspective.

I find it interesting that a PP said the least safe way to sleep is with baby on the chest, in the hospital the LC insisted that that was safe for me to do.

Thanks everyone for your help and for sharing experiences.

You are welcome. I told my pedi that DS only slept on our chests at night, they said it was perfectly fine and normal.

[dcrunnergirl]

May 22, 2012 12:20:38 GMT -5 @246baje said:

Thanks Kari, I know that in my home country lots of babies bed- share but seeing the news last night made me think "holy crap what am I doing". I appreciate your perspective.

I find it interesting that a PP said the least safe way to sleep is with baby on the chest, in the hospital the LC insisted that that was safe for me to do.

Thanks everyone for your help and for sharing experiences.

Yup, our hospital even had signs in every room in the maternity ward warning parents not to sit in the recliners or propped up in bed with the baby on your chest if there was a chance you might fall asleep.

[Deleted]

What is considered best/safest will vary a lot depending on the source of the information.

Personally, I know I never moved while sleeping with the baby. We fell asleep with him in the crook of my arm. We woke in the exact same position a few hours later.

Dr. James McKenna has great information about bedsharing. cosleeping.nd.edu/ (really interesting stuff)

[karinothing]

May 22, 2012 12:30:23 GMT -5 dcrunnergirl said:

May 22, 2012 12:20:38 GMT -5 @246baje said:

Thanks Kari, I know that in my home country lots of babies bed- share but seeing the news last night made me think "holy crap what am I doing". I appreciate your perspective.

I find it interesting that a PP said the least safe way to sleep is with baby on the chest, in the hospital the LC insisted that that was safe for me to do.

Thanks everyone for your help and for sharing experiences.

Yup, our hospital even had signs in every room in the maternity ward warning parents not to sit in the recliners or propped up in bed with the baby on your chest if there was a chance you might fall asleep.

Oh I see that as different. You should not sleep sitting up in a recliner while sleeping with the baby (gravity and all). When DS slept on my chest at night I slept with one pillow under my head on my back (I wasn't propped up at all).

[Deleted]

Count me in Kari's 95%. DD slept on my chest for a few months. I laid flat on the bed. It was the only way we got sleep. I barely moved.

I honestly believe newborns are meant to sleep on their mothers, as its the "4th trimester" and all. Nearly every mother I know IRL not only coslept, but slept with the baby on their chest.

When DD was older, we continued to bedshare, and we did sidelying. Made it really easy for nighttime nursing.

[keh2oblue]

Ditto, Kari...my DD slept on my chest for 7 weeks straight. It's not ideal, and we did end up moving her at that time because I was getting back/neck pain, but you do what you gotta do to get some sleep those first few months.

[froggy76]

If I had to sleep with DD on my chest, I'd just sleep in the middle of the bed in case she rolled off, I'd move pillows and blankets out of the way, and make sure I wasn't wearing loose clothing. I tried not to do this with DH in the bed because there wasn't enough room for me to get away from the edge, and he's a really heavy sleeper and I didn't feel comfortable having her in the bed with him asleep.

[Ashley&Scott]

We also co-sleep. The first few months it was always on my chest. Now it's a mix of on my chest & next to me on his back. He wakes up the instant we lay him in his crib, but will stay asleep when we lay him down in our bed.

[galaxy8227]

DS would wake up really early in the morning when he was sleeping in his crib--I would go get him, bring him to bed with me on my chest and he would sleep another 3-4 hours. It didn't last too long (maybe 3 weeks) but it worked for us. I always slept in the middle of the bed, no blankets, and I felt comfortable. I never thought I would do this but lack of sleep makes you do things you swore you'd never do

[lishie]

I coslept with my youngest for about six months. I was a really light sleeper and heard every grunt, so I wasn't worried about rolling onto him, and since he slept well that way, and was able to nurse lying next to me it worked for us. I tried to be very careful of blankets and pillows, but those were my only true precautions. It worked for us.

With DS1, I had a snuggle nest that he slept in, he liked to be by us, but didn't need to be next to us. I liked the extra protection it gave us, and then I just slid him down for feedings. DS2 needed to be right next to me, or neither of us ever got sleep.

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[oregonpachey]

I saw that story on the news you are referring to.

Many many people and cultures co-sleep and bedshare with absolutely no issues. It's only the bad stories you hear about.

We bedshare and have since both our kids were born. With a baby that wakes up every half hour sometimes, it is a necessity.

There are safe ways to do it. Just do some research. Mattress on the floor, no extra pillows or blankets, etc.

[DarcyLongfellow]

I was straight up miserable for the first 6 weeks of DD's life because she refused to sleep unless she was held, and I was too terrified of hurting her to co-sleep. I ended up sitting on the couch to nurse her, falling asleep while nursing only to jerk awake a little while convinced I'd killed her. Lather, rinse, repeat.

For the next baby, I already plan to cosleep. I will do it in our guest bed (so no DH or dogs around), with no covers or pillows on the bed at all, with the bed pushed against the wall. I will nurse the baby side lying while we both sleep. I don't know any other way to save my sanity!

[vanillacourage]

May 22, 2012 12:33:17 GMT -5 @tokenhoser said:

What is considered best/safest will vary a lot depending on the source of the information.

Personally, I know I never moved while sleeping with the baby. We fell asleep with him in the crook of my arm. We woke in the exact same position a few hours later.

Agree with this. For his second feeding of the night, DS side-nurses and we all fall back asleep. He's in the crook of my arm and I always wake up in the exact same spot as when I fell asleep.

I try to put him in the crib or PNP (next to bed) as much as I can because I personally sleep better w/o him in bed with us (because I apparently internally give myself permission to move!), but if he's fussing and I know it will be a half-hour spent getting him back to sleep or I can merely lay him down with us and we're all happy, it's done.

We have never slept with him on my chest. That sh!t is not comfortable and I have standards for my sleep.

[hedgiecrazy]

I never intended to be share, but you gotta do what works. We started her in a snugglenest while she was so squishy. After about sixish weeks we ditched the nest and she just sleeps side-lying or on my chest. She will NOT sleep alone. I tried to sneak away from her during naptime today, not two minutes later she woke up. Some babies just have to be held to sleep.

[Willis Jackson]

Yup.

We bedshared with DS for 18 months, DD for 6. They always started the night in their cribs and would end up in our bed when I got too lazy to bring them back. DD still has her first morning feeding in our bed and I doze a little then.

No biggie. Almost everyone does it at some point.

[oukapu]

I started at five months to get more sleep. I didn't do t all the time. Mostly when i was too lazy to put her back in her crib or she was having a rough night. I've stopped because she is so mobile I am worried she will crawl out of bed.
I was opposed with doing it at first...

[chia]

I'll never do it... I'm a very heavy sleeper.
Personally, I also don't think it's safe - but, to each their own. You have to do what's right for you!

[madladybride]

Ditto kari and co-cleeping. I brought home a slightly less than 4lb baby that we coslept with. DH and I, but mostly I) would have DD sleep on our chest. I was propped up a bit with pillowsand pillows on my one side. On my other side, we had the arms reach co-sleeper. However, DD didn't sleep in that until she was bigger. The nurses/LC's recommended I keep her on my or DH's chest as much as possible because she was a preemie.

When she got older we did sidelying nursing and co-sleep. We actually have her crib side-cared to our bed. She falls asleep in her bed and I pull her in to nurse. Sometimes I put her back into her bed, or I have even found myself laying in her bed.
Side-carring looks something like www.drmomma.org/2010/01/turn-your-crib-into-cosleeper.html