My child loves me less. (dramaqueen post)

[hannamaren]

I know my child loves me and I know she needs me, but would it kill her to be excited to see me?
My H sees her for 15 minutes a day and barely plays with her and her whole face lights up when he comes home. She whines until he picks her up.
The nanny leaves and she pulls her coat to go with her.

I come home from being gone for 2 or 8 hours and she just looks at me like I am the janitor coming in to sweep the rug and goes back to her toys.

I am glad she goes to the nanny so easy and doesnt cry at the door, dont get me wrong, but a smile or look of excitement, please?

I do not need words of encouragement or people scolding me for making something out of nothing. This is mostly tongue in cheek.

When she hurts herself, she always wants me.

[karinothing]

Ah! I am sorry. I know exactly how you feel. The other day I was playing with DS all day and he was being soo whiny and fussy. DH was working from home and would occasionally come into the room. DS would just start laughing and squealing and try to get to him as fast as possible! It is hard.

Hang in there! She does love you.

[gibbinator]

Yeah, dh is the fun parent. I joke that if he was the one who lactated ds wouldn't want me at all

[Ashley&Scott]

How do you act when you come back? M gets excited but I'm sure me being excited plays into it.

For instance when I pick M up from daycare I walk into the room & walk over to him. I say hi with a big smile & pick him up then I give him a hug & kiss.

[hannamaren]

Nov 1, 2012 20:06:59 GMT -5 Ashley&Scott said:

How do you act when you come back? M gets excited but I'm sure me being excited plays into it.

For instance when I pick M up from daycare I walk into the room & walk over to him. I say hi with a big smile & pick him up then I give him a hug & kiss.

When I was gone for the weekend, I was ecstatic to see her, she just looked surprised.
Today, I was definitely more into her than my H ever is. She sees him pulling the car in the driveway and freaks out.

[Deleted]

DS does this to me all the time too. I'm the " enforcer" DH is the plaything, & my mom is his whole world. He just adores her. It's funny to see how differently he behaves for each of us.

[Deleted]

It just means they are SO secure that you'll always be there that it's no surprise at all when you are.

[hannamaren]

Nov 1, 2012 20:27:04 GMT -5 @tokenhoser said:

It just means they are SO secure that you'll always be there that it's no surprise at all when you are.

Yeah, Something like this.
I joke that to her -I am furniture.

[hannamaren]

So I should just have a second kid for me?

[h]

Both my kids have gone through stages of preferring one of us over the other. DS1 was all about me until he was like 4 and would even tell DH that he didn't love him . Now he will tell me he loves us both but loves his dad a little more than me. Preferences flip flop. And jenny is right--it really can be exhausting to be the preferred parent.

[DarcyLongfellow]

My daughter was like this when she was younger. I really think that she just saw (and to a certain extent, still does see) me as an extension of her. Of *course* I was there, you don't get excited to see your hand every morning, do you?

I'm a fairly loud and exuberant person, so whenever I see DD after being away for a while, I tend to announce it like I'm Oprah giving someone a car -- "AAAAAABIIIGAIL, MOMMY's HOOOOOME!!!! Are you so excited to see me??? What did you do while I was gone!?" Even when I pick her up at school, I tend to sort of bounce into the door and kind of "TA DA! HI! DID YOU HAVE A FUN DAY!?"

My shy child usually looks at me like I'm crazy, but her face does light up when she sees me after school :-)

[sewpinkgal]

J is in a huge daddy phase. He says dada all day. He looks for him on and off all day. He loses his damn mind when my husband comes home. It can definitely be frustrating, but I try to just let it roll off my back... and use the time that he's having daddy time to get stuff done around the house solo. LOL

[bunch]

When I tell dd that dh is home she shrieks, drops what she's doing and runs for the door. It's ridiculous.

[drloretta]

Totally normal, and it will subside at some point.

I SAH with DD all day and she treated me like chopped liver at that age. Dh would walk in the door and she'd be beyond thrilled.

It has subsided in the last couple of months. Or should I say equalized.

[jackpackage]

Nov 1, 2012 21:01:14 GMT -5 DarcyLongfellow said:

My daughter was like this when she was younger. I really think that she just saw (and to a certain extent, still does see) me as an extension of her. Of *course* I was there, you don't get excited to see your hand every morning, do you?

I'm a fairly loud and exuberant person, so whenever I see DD after being away for a while, I tend to announce it like I'm Oprah giving someone a car -- "AAAAAABIIIGAIL, MOMMY's HOOOOOME!!!! Are you so excited to see me??? What did you do while I was gone!?" Even when I pick her up at school, I tend to sort of bounce into the door and kind of "TA DA! HI! DID YOU HAVE A FUN DAY!?"

My shy child usually looks at me like I'm crazy, but her face does light up when she sees me after school :-)

Lol!

I'm going to have to start using your hand example. DS was so cranky yesterday, but the minute h came home, he was a happy baby again. FIL came over last night and said "we'll yeah, he's sick of looking at mommy and the dog every day! I'd be bored too!" :@

[kittycatlove]

My DS will cry hysterically when DH leaves to go somewhere, but when I leave he just looks at me smiles and says bye-bye, like it's no big deal. It's hard I know I'm right there with you.

[Deleted]

Nov 1, 2012 20:39:26 GMT -5 @domerjen said:

Joseph said yesterday that Nora loves me and he loves daddy. I said, "Don't you love me, too?"
"No, I love Daddy."

Damn kids.

Aww, lol.

[Deleted]

I felt that way when my oldest was little - when they get bigger they get excited to see you when you come home, even if you're the one who is with them all the time

[h]

Just for the record, from now on every time I read one of DarcyLongfellow's posts, I will imagine she is speaking in Oprah's voice. I kind of love that.