DH outlooks?

[FastHands]

DH is driving me a little crazy with his pessimism. I get not wanting to be so optimistic that every setback or bfn causes a tailspin, but he's getting on my nerves. I asked him if we could look at our medical insurance plans this weekend. We have middle-of-the-road coverage right now, but it was dawning on me that we may want to consider increasing coverage for next year in the event we end up with L&D costs. Now I know it's not a given, but it's not even on his radar of possible things. Like, alien invasion is higher. He actually said "Well unless we did IVF or something, I don't see how we would get pregnant and have a baby next year."
WTF ?? First of all, it's been THREE months! We have no reason to think that this will be impossible without help.. He said that and I went into "we should discuss this" mode, but I backed off immediately because I realized that I am super PMSy, and I think I immediately would have said "DO YOU EVEN WANT BABIES ??" Lol. If this attitude comes up again, I think we will def at least talk about what is fueling it, but now is not the time. lol

Anyone else living with a negative nelly ??

[winecheery]

No, but I think that's my role in this aspect of the relationship lol

DH is like, relax, it'll happen!

Honestly, I'm not negative so much as an over thinker. I know it will happen too; but I worry about the whens/hows/and what its. DH reminds me to be patient. I'm working on it, but it's tough.

Maybe your DH feels like it's "his fault" that he didn't getcha the first time?? A silly irrational thought, but I have heard some guys feel this way, and it might cause odd negative responses like that??

I can see how this attitude is draining and I hope that things get better soon!

[mkesweetie]

Honestly, it sounds to me like he doesn't really understand the process. IF you had to do IVF, that's going to prolong your process, so the "Unless we do IVF, bla bla bla" is a moot point.

That said, maybe he just wants to try to control the expectation, which I understand. TTC is stressful, and if you're super optimistic each month it becomes easy to be equally disappointed each month. You know how it is easier to be surprised than disappointed where good news is concerned? Maybe he's just thinking he'll hold off on excitement until it happens, so he doesn't have to be disappointed when it doesn't.

Try to remember that we all process big, life changing events differently and while his method is annoying it isn't necessarily wrong.

I do agree, though, that checking that you have the best possible insurance plan before your open enrollment window is a good idea.

[bronxgirl]

My husband is pessimisstic by nature and it drives me crazy.

[FastHands]

Yeah, the IVF comment was totally bizarre. lol.

Swizz, that would've made me twitchy ! Ugh, men.

I think part of my emotional investment in the insurance question is that I know that the odds aren't great of me having l&d costs next year, but not upping our coverage seems like betting against myself, which is depressing. lol

[mkesweetie]

FWIW, I wish I had a bunch of optimism. When we started TTC I was all, "It might take a few months!" but deep down I was thinking, "It's going to happen right away!" because (this is so silly, in hindsight!) both of my sisters got pregnant really easily, as did my mom, his mom, and his one sibling that has a child. So I was all, "I got this!"

Now, after a year, I'm like, "Yeah, not happening." I'll probably actually pee my pants if/when it does. lol.