WTF?

[ct]

A just got a call from a marriage therapist she had put an inquiry into this weekend and the therapist informed her that she "isn't comfortable with our issues and is not comfortable taking us."

which, of course, is code word for "I don't like gays" (because, I assure you, our "issues" are as generic as they come).

talk about insult to injury.

Why not just say you aren't taking new clients??

[kershnic]

That's gross. On the plus side, at least she didn't say yes and then you get stuck paying for a crappy therapist.

[hensmum]

Nov 5, 2012 14:20:24 GMT -5 ct said:

Why not just say you aren't taking new clients??

Just to be a bitch :@

[eratmama]

Whoa. I guess at least she told you rather than have you come in?

But, um, she should read the APA manual. I doubt yours are the "most sinful" she has dealt with.


Is your old therapist not a good fit anymore? We needed a new one at one point and I HATE the beginning "get to know you" crap. If I feel I need help, I probably needed it yesterday.

[hensmum]

Nov 5, 2012 14:25:08 GMT -5 kershnic said:

That's gross. On the plus side, at least she didn't say yes and then you get stuck paying for a crappy therapist.

And this. That's always my fear with any healthcare provider. I once went to a PCP who turned out to hate gays. She didn't TELL me that - just made sure I felt it. Needless to say, haven't been back.

[ct]

I always straight-up ask if they have any experience working with GLBT couples - to make sure they are gay friendly and to make sure they understand that dynamics and issues can be different.

erat - I would go back to the last one, but DW prefers not. She wasnt that great so i dont mind. And there was that time when she said, "its not as bad as having a child die" (in regards to not being able to concieve). so...

[ssg73]

What a jerk. I would love to give her a piece of my mind. But at least you are not going to have to go see a shitty therapist.

[twotrue]

Nov 5, 2012 14:32:35 GMT -5 ct said:

I always straight-up ask if they have any experience working with GLBT couples - to make sure they are gay friendly and to make sure they understand that dynamics and issues can be different.

Wait - you asked if she was comfortable with LGBT couples, she said yes, and then A got this call? Or you left a message over the weekend, in the message asked if she was comfortable with LGBT issues, and then A got this call. The first one would piss me off, the later wouldn't. She was honest. And I would rather have her be honest then make up some excuse such as not taking new clients.

[ct]

She wasnt honest - she said she wasnt comfortable with the marriage/parenting issues we were looking to address, which are compeltely generic and not anything any marriage/family therapist wouldnt have encountered in the past. And then she said she couldnt give us any referrals because she couldnt think of anyone in her network that would be able to work with our "issues". bogus.

Honest would have been, "I am not comfortable seeing gay/lesbian clients."

[twotrue]

Nov 5, 2012 15:28:45 GMT -5 ct said:

She wasnt honest - she said she wasnt comfortable with the marriage/parenting issues we were looking to address, which are compeltely generic and not anything any marriage/family therapist wouldnt have encountered in the past. And then she said she couldnt give us any referrals because she couldnt think of anyone in her network that would be able to work with our "issues". bogus.

Honest would have been, "I am not comfortable seeing gay/lesbian clients."

True. I see you're point. But in her world your marriage probably isn't a marriage so she isn't comfortable addressing anything in the realm of marriage issue. I'm not defending her, and I get where you think she wasn't honest. And if all of the people in her world think like her than you're probably better off not getting a referral from her.

[2brides]

that is bullshit. Sorry that happened. It always stings.

[never2amazing]

I agree with everyone...curiosity question, was any information about your children brought up?

[ct]

No, thankfully. Literally the extent of the conversation was, "my wife and I are looking for a therapist to work with on some communication and parenting issues."

and that is what she was uncomfortable with.

[joyseattle]

Yuck that she (or any mental health/family support professional) would feel that way. Glad you found out sooner rather than later. Can you get referrals through a local LBGTQ organization?

[seattlekari]

Wow...just wow. Like others I'm glad you didn't have to waste any time/money with her.

Like Joy, I was going to suggest a local LGBTQ group or if your employers/insurance have an employee assistance program that gives referrals.

[thiswillbe]

I can't remember-- is there a place for feedback in the Psychology Today find-a-therapist tool? Hmm... (BTW, that tool has a function where you can see in advance if they work with LGBT folks; might be worth checking out if you haven't already.)

[hlke]

UGH!