Tiger Moms

[jennlin]

so i still haven't read the tiger moms book because they never released it in a digital version last time i checked (okay it was more than a year ago).

but "tiger moms" are very common in chinese/asian culture...and h and i have talked about it, not really knowing the exact definition of tiger parenting. we don't really know where to draw the line of "normal chinese parenting", and when it becomes "tiger parenting"....

so what i know we'll be doing differently than the regular american norm is that school is always priority. always. dentist/dr appointments/vacations will never ever be scheduled during school hours. b's are something to be ashamed of...a's only. if you're not getting a's, you're getting a private tutor. and lots of extracurricular activities (piano, chinese school, a few sports)..

i'm sure there are more, but like i said, i really don't know where that line between normal chinese and tiger parenting is.

[emyinpink]

We're not Chinese, but there were definitely some ways that I was raised that were tiger-mom esque that I'll be doing for my children as well. B's are also not acceptable, extracurricular music activities (violin starting at 3/4, piano starting at 5/6, continuation of a musical instrument of choice starting in middle school), language (either via immersion school or extensive traveling), and sports (swimming, golf or tennis lessons, and a team sport of choice).

That being said, my parents took us on lots of business trips which were far more educational than school for me going up. So while I wouldn't say a vacation to Mexico scheduled during school, a trip to England is acceptable. Not opposed to dentist/dr appointments during school hours either.

And I would never oppose things like sleepovers, etc.

[sarack]

i agree with spun- "i, naively, think that there is a way to expect the best of your children without being permissive or too strict. we'll see if we can figure it out." i feel exactly like this. my mom is an addict and my dad trusted me to do the right thing. i always got straight a's in school and graduated with a 4.0. i was never involved in other activities besides choir though.. well and like asb, but otherwise, i wish they would have pushed me.. oh i was a cheerleader. but i wish i would have played the piano. i really want our children to start early, and they will.

[Deleted]

May 23, 2012 12:31:37 GMT -5 spunbutterfly said:

I, naively, think there is a way to expect the best of your children without being permissive or too strict. We'll see if we can figure it out.

Not naive, there ARE ways. However, at times my mother definitely went a weird direction. I was good in school, my excellence was just taken for granted by a certain age. I remember distinctly in High School when all my friends had received their report card but I had *YET* to hear about mine. I finally asked my mother (they mailed them to our parents) and she said, "Oh I got that weeks ago." "WHat!? What did I get?" "Why do you need to ask, A's of course." Gee, thanks mom for caring or acknowledging my achievement.

I was expected to do my best (and I usually did). I wanted to make myself and my parents proud. I only got in trouble when I procrastinated and then stayed up way too late to finish a project as a result. As and Bs were fine.

[madDawg228]

This is probably a stupid question, but how would you "tiger parent" a special needs child? I don't think you could, but I'm curious how a "tiger parent" would handle that...

[tacocat]

I think I would have run away if I had a tiger parent. I did not do well with authority when I was younger , I was taught hard work, disciplined when I misbehaved, and raised with good manners though so I think they did a good job.

They pulled me out of school for vacations though. I learned a lot that way and I would do the same if we had kids.

[jennlin]

re: saying i love you.

yeah, my parents have never ever told me they loved me. even now, i try to lure it out of them as a joke, but they won't say it..they'll just tell me i'm annoying.