Funeral question

[countthestars]

My family friend's father passed away after a long illness at age 82. I wasn't able to make it to the calling hours last night because I was away on business, but my parents and H went without me. I have known friend for 15 years but am not close with his father (probably met him 5 times years ago).

I am planning on going to the funeral today. I WFH and am able to step out for a little while. Would it be rude or weird to attend the service but not the burial? They are doing a service at the funeral home before going to the cemetery which is about 30 minutes from here.

[RitzyHeifer]

I don't know if it's regional but around here - Midwest - it's totally normal to attend funeral service but not go to the cemetery (also totally normal to do both). Just make sure not to get in the processional driving from the funeral home to the burial.

[cheese]

I don't think so. I have attended several services and not gone to the burial. When I have attended the burial it always seems like there are quite a few less people there. If it was my father I would appreciate the effort and not be upset by you not attending the burial. People understand.

[dexteroni]

It's fine. In my experience, usually only the closest family and friends attend the burial.

ETA: And to be honest, your friend probably won't even notice. Other than my mom and siblings, I couldn't tell you who was and wasn't at my dad's burial. The family won't be thinking about that right then.

[Deleted]

I don't think it would be a big deal. It seems like a lot of people attend the funeral but don't attend the burial. I think burials are often just close family, relatives, and friends, or that seems to be the pattern with all the ones I've attended.

[yellowbrkrd]

May 23, 2012 8:49:17 GMT -5 dexteroni said:

It's fine. In my experience, usually only the closest family and friends attend the burial.

This is my experience as well.

[GailGoldie]

It's fine- your friend will be glad you came at all- nobody is going to be keeping tabs on how much stuff anyone goes to in these situations... they are just happy that people come for support, etc.

[countthestars]

Thanks everyone!

[dr.girlfriend]

I think that's fine. Just hang back a little so you don't pull out with the funeral procession and have people follow you to work. ;-)

[Deleted]

It's very common for people who aren't super close to not attend the burial and leave that more for family.

[statlerwaldorf]

It is common around here for people that were not that close to skip the burial.

[Deleted]

That's perfectly fine. IIRC, there were a ton of people at my dad's funeral but only family and close friends at the burial. When my boss's mother passed away, I attended the funeral and then cut out.

[MadamePresident]

I think its really nice of you to go to the funeral. No one will be keeping tabs on if you are also at the burial.

[aspentosh]

Not a big deal. Like a PP said, the burial is often just closest family and friends.

[drloretta]

At most of the funerals I've been to, it's a crowd for the service, and a more intimate group for the burial. I think you're fine.