Post by missbetty1 on May 11, 2012 11:27:13 GMT -5
I feel totally conflicted... Part of me wants to just give up hope of ever finding a guy I'll be truly happy with...and with that feeling of hopelessness I just feel like "f*ck it just marry your ex"...But then I shudder at the idea of even getting back with him. Then there is another part of me that just wants to give up ALL together and never date again! And then there is a part of me that wants to find the right guy for me and wants me to be patient about it...WTH is wrong with me?!! Do you think a bottle of wine might help me? LOL
Post by missbetty1 on May 11, 2012 11:35:15 GMT -5
TN was acting crazy the other day when I told my background story..I'll copy and paste it if that will help....but we were together almost 6 years and enagaged for 2... we recently broke up...
TN was acting crazy the other day when I told my background story..I'll copy and paste it if that will help....but we were together almost 6 years and enagaged for 2... we recently broke up...
Yea it would be good to re-post it.
Yea if its recent, all your emotions you are feeling are normal. it does get easier with time, i promise
Post by missbetty1 on May 11, 2012 11:43:34 GMT -5
Okay here it is, warning... it's long: So my ex contacted me the other day and wants to “make up”. I am finally in a place where I’m happy. It feels kind of weird that I’m happier single than in a relationship. He tried to convince me that our problems were things that are “changeable”…I asked him “what the heck did he mean?” He said unchangeable things are things like abuse and infidelity…He’s like I’ve never cheated on you, our relationship was not abusive, there were no addictions involved either. But as he is saying these things to me I’m thinking to myself “true we never dealt with any of those issues but what I did have to deal with wasn’t all right either”. One of the problems is that I was never physically attracted to my ex but I decided to give him a chance because I didn’t want to be superficial and I thought “hey he could have a really great personality”… Then his personality turned out not to be THAT great, I don’t find him to be thoughtful, attentive, or generous, his communication sucks, our conversations aren’t intellectually stimulating and we argued every other week. We have had extensive conversations about this but he keeps denying that my issues are real issues. He’s like it’s all changeable …but my point is that he hasn’t changed in the 6 years I’ve known him because he honestly doesn’t want to change. I feel like the desire for change has to come from within I can’t make him change and I don’t want to, I want him to I want it on his own. I told him that I don’t think he is bad person he is just not right for me…but I guess after trying to make it work with someone for 6 years and me not cutting it off at the first signs of it I guess it’s hard for him to accept what I’m saying, maybe? Idk I guess I was wrong for letting it go on for so long but I was really trying to make it work and not be superficial but I can’t take it anymore…I love him and I wish him all the best but I just can’t anymore.
Post by kellbell191 on May 11, 2012 11:57:04 GMT -5
The task of finding someone you click with, who isn't crazy or an asshole, who you communicate well with, who you mesh with in terms of schedule, location, finances, recreation, sex life is not easy. But definitely worth it. I would definitely take a break from dating to clear your head and just enjoy being alone. But the ex is not a good use of your time and you know that.