If you've been TTC for a while...

[ejpint]

...share some of the ways you keep things...*ahem*...exciting.

My FW is here, and I'm really trying to get excited to give it the old college try again, but I'm having trouble keeping it from feeling like a job.

We've been trying for over a year. I love my H, and spontaneous stuff is fun, but really "trying" is starting to feel like a chore.

No good!!

[VillainV]

My husband is a sucker for sexy lingerie. He can't get enough of it. He especially likes the nightie I wore on our wedding night. But new stuff works too:-)

[mudslide]

Toys.

[HoneySpider]

Ugh, doesn't it suck when sex becomes a chore? TTC really blows sometimes.

Our last cycle we really weren't that into it and we definitely didn't do it as much as we probably should have. I came home from work one day knowing that it was probably a "last ditch effort" and that we should do it one more time. I wasn't into it, and figured DH wasn't either. Well I get home from work and he's waiting for me naked in bed. Obviously nothing crazy there, but it kept us from being like "oh, we should probably have sex tonight" and then dragging ourselves to the bedroom. Honestly it was far from the best or the prettiest sex we've ever had, but it got the job done (literally....I'm pretty sure that's the sex that got me pregnant). I'm not sure where I'm going with this (and I've been interrupted twice while writing) but I guess my point is sometimes just simplifying it and getting down to business works pretty well.

There were times when we would simultaneously masturbate and then just finish off together.

[thatgirl2478]

change positions

add toys and um 'other' materials...

[blindyswife]

We are on cycle 6, and yeah, it does start feeling like a job. Like, we're doing it because we have to and not because we want to. It's especially draining when we're both exhausted and we'd both rather sleep than work up a sweat, knowwhatimsayin?

Maybe I should get some sexy lingerie, though. That's a good idea, v.

[blindyswife]

Nov 13, 2012 13:56:06 GMT -5 swizzlestx said:

Have you tried reading dirty books too? There are tons of PDFs online, lol.

Those usually seem to help me get in the mood.

Oh intresting. What sort of thing would I google to find something like that, that wouldn't bring up virus filled links? :looks around innocently: The world of Internet sex is scary to me.

[Deleted]

I downloaded "50 Shades of Grey" from my library's e-books.

Because I don't want to be seen reading that crap.

I haven't got to the juicy parts yet. I'm getting desperate - it's been a long weekend of sex, and I think we need to keep it up for another day or two.

[HoneySpider]

LOL at the Twilight sex stories.

I think there is a site called simply eroticstories dot com that I have gone to. I might be wrong. I don't want to type it on my browser at work....I'm already pretty sure the IT guys can see what I'm typing on here which is bad enough.

[blindyswife]

Well it appears that I may have some reading material for later...

[ladygrey]

Literotica.com - good stuff (and totally free!)

[mrssandro]

Sex all the time. Not just on your fertile days. Lube is also fun. Sexy movies are nice sometimes.

[jewel]

Mostly...nothing. I'm a bad wife.

We've been trying for over a year, and it sometimes feels like a chore to me too. My husband is ready to go any day, any time. Regular sex is great. FW sex is just too much for me, and not for a lack of being turned on. I'm perfectly content to really be into it sometimes, and other times I just have my eye on the prize. I never have been interested in having sex on a daily basis, even when we were younger and newer.

So I guess I'm no help, other that to say it's perfectly normal to feel meh about it sometimes. The little egg and sperm don't know otherwise.

[winecheery]

I am a sappy dork, but I leave little handwritten post-its all over the house for DH to find, and they say things from basic and sweet, "You're my favorite" to umm, a little more creative than that...

I think for us it's important to have sex because we have affection and attraction for each other, not because we want to get pg. We have sex all throughout the month.

I also suggested to someone else on here once to try this: I lay out three little outfits on the bed and leave a note saying "Pick one" and let him choose what he'd like to see me in before/during sex.

We also change up locations, positions and time of day (if we can; tough during the week tho). Basically we just try to keep things about the actual sex non-structured, since we do make of point of having more "scheduled" sex during my fertile week. If the act of sex isn't structured, so we just forget "why" we're doing it, kwim?

[blindyswife]

The post-it notes are super romantic wine!

For us, the unstructured sex that is at all times of the month can be hard, a lot of it because of the toddler. It's like, during fw we are getting it on way more frequently than we would under normal circumstances. Its exhausting! So after that time period is over we're both completely wiped out and have little drive during the 2ww. I want to spend those two weeks recovering! lol

But admittedly, we (especially me) need to just do a better job at trying to be spontaneous, trying to make time for each other, and trying to keep things fresh.

It's hard when you're old, yo!

[awick14]

I make sure to take the dog to the dog park if possible before DH gets home from work. This way he will sleep in his kennel during sexy time.