s/o Poll re: Sensitivity

[ct]

nft

[Deleted]

My spouse and her whole family?

[twotrue]

I'm definitely the more sensitive one but I'm also the one that self censors more.

[2brides]

Generally, she is.

But I have my topics that set me off.

[hensmum]

I guess, truthfully, we are about equal...just in different ways.

[twotrue]

I guess it also depends on how we define sensitive. I take things more personal and am more likely to cry. She's more likely to go 0-60 over the smallest little thing that I can ignore without issue.

[ElsaVonM]

She is a very even-keeled person. There are things that hurt her or make her mad, but she is in one mood (just fine/pretty happy) about 90% of the time. Whereas I get more excited, more angry, cry more easily, feel down more often, etc.

[joyseattle]

Me. And Elsa/Leaps's response is about it for us too.

[2brides]

After much reflection last night, I decided we are both too sensitive.

[quinny]

K for sure but I tell her all the time. She's a big softie and she knows it. She has to be for her field of work and it is one of my very favorite things about her. My wedding vows addressed it, even. She's more than a little naive, in the best possible sense. She believes the best in everyone, to the very core of her being. I've definitely made her a little more cautious but at the same time, I've been really careful to not squish this beautiful 'thing' she's so lucky to have made it into her adult life with. I've never met anyone like her and sometimes I can't figure out why she fell in love with a cynic

In the day-to-day, I'm way more down to earth and go with the flow. I 'get over' stuff in a matter of moments. She gets hurt and retreats quickly. It was difficult to find a middle ground but we worked on it a lot and we got there a few years ago and it's a really god place. I can say 99% of my mind to her without getting a crazy/defensive/hurt reaction (and she can say 100% to me, that took the most work) but of course now I know how to talk to her now to make sure she is safe. The only thing I can think of that can be a problem is parenting 'stuff' and this has made gigantic leaps just in the last few weeks.

She's now N's 'favorite'. To see him scramble to get to her at break neck speed when he hears her voice, when she comes home in the afternoon is... hmm... part exhilarating and part heart breaking? I've been 100% his go to for the last year so I am elated they have found this place but at the same time, he needs me less and it's hard. My point - because I've been his 100% go-to for the last year, I've had to tread delicately on parenting conversations. She felt undermined, easily, so I learned to shut my mouth when she did things differently (like letting him watch sports center) that don't *really* matter in the long run. As a SAHM, I've turned on the TV less than 5 times in the last 13 months so 10 min every few days doesn't really matter in the big picture, but it use to get my back up. I learned to shut my mouth, which was hard, I normally think I know best and gave more decision making and it in turn made her more confident in the day-to-day. But like I said, things really evened out around 11 months and got increasingly more equal just this past few weeks so I anticipate these conversations will be even easier in the months to come.

[tattooedmeegs]

Nov 13, 2012 16:37:46 GMT -5 twotrue said:

I guess it also depends on how we define sensitive. I take things more personal and am more likely to cry. She's more likely to go 0-60 over the smallest little thing that I can ignore without issue.

Ditto this.

[tattooedmeegs]

Nov 14, 2012 11:29:00 GMT -5 quinny said:

My point - because I've been his 100% go-to for the last year, I've had to tread delicately on parenting conversations. She felt undermined, easily, so I learned to shut my mouth when she did things differently (like letting him watch sports center) that don't *really* matter in the long run. As a SAHM, I've turned on the TV less than 5 times in the last 13 months so 10 min every few days doesn't really matter in the big picture, but it use to get my back up. I learned to shut my mouth, which was hard, I normally think I know best and gave more decision making and it in turn made her more confident in the day-to-day. But like I said, things really evened out around 11 months and got increasingly more equal just this past few weeks so I anticipate these conversations will be even easier in the months to come.

(Not a SAHM, but) I could have written this myself. I totally feel you.