Thanksgiving Attendence

[smiley]

Usually we split the holiday's in half... The morning is usually spent with DH's family and the afternoon with my family. It is difficult because DH and I work late the day before the holiday and I usually have to be back to work by 4am the day after.

This year SIL invited her cousin's family to join them for breakfast which would make breakfast 9 adults and 4 children under 4 years old. This does not sound fun to either one of us. We don't have any children and would prefer to enjoy a quiet morning.

My Brother is hosting dinner which he has never done before. This even would include 13 adults and 1 baby under 1. DH can not stand SIL's family and I am not too fond of them either. We were thinking of skipping this too.

Does it make us look like bad people for opting out of both sides of the family events for Thanksgiving? It's a lot of driving around when we only have the day of Thanksgiving off. DH has also been working 6-7 days a week for the past 8 weeks so I have barely seen him.

We were going to cook a small dinner at home and enjoy the parade in our PJs which we have never been able to do before with family hopping. I just feel like a bitch for skipping out on the "family" time because it is what we have done for the past 5 years.

[dexteroni]

You would not be bad people for skipping. Both family events sound kind of terrible, whereas your plan of jammies and parade sounds awesome. I think the choice is clear! Just tell your families you're both exhausted and you're skipping this year, and look forward to seeing everyone at Christmas. And you can even leave the last part off if it's not true, lol.

[Velvetshady]

It does not make you "bad people" to have a small Thanksgiving with just your 2 person family. And it sounds like it would be good for you to have a quite Thanksgiving this year.

[dragonfly08]

You're definitely not bad people for skipping. Sometimes it's what you need to do! We usually travel to visit our families for Christmas (Eve with DHs, Day with mine). About five years ago, we just didn't feel up to it. DD #2 was sleeping so poorly, we were tired and stressed from that and in general, and nobody wanted to go. So we stayed home, went out for a nice dinner on Christmas Eve, drove the girls around to see the lights, and had breakfast in our PJs and presents under our own tree. It was great and exactly the break we needed. Nobody gave us grief about it...sure they were disappointed, but they knew it was too much to ask that we'd travel every year. Even if they had said something that would have been their problem, not ours, and it wouldn't have changed our minds.

[dumbledore826]

Definitely not bad for skipping out. DH and I still say our best Thanksgiving ever was when I was pregnant with LO. Parade in jammies w/hot chocolate and belgian waffles. Football, hor dourves, and desserts (brownies, pies, cookies). Totally NOT healthy day. But it was just the 2 of us and we had a great time.

[Deleted]

I refuse to skip around to houses on the holidays. It's exhausting and sucks all of the fun out of the holiday. For the past 5 or so years we've either spent Thanksgiving with DH's grandma in another state and made a vacation out of it or we have stayed home. My in-laws are 30 minutes away and my parents are 1.5 hours away, we see neither of them on Turkey Day.

[chessie]

Doesnt make you a bad person makes you human want to spend a holiday quiet at home. I refuse to spend the holiday driving all over hell. For us we see 1 family side per holiday for that reason.

[Deleted]

You would not be bad people for skipping. We are considering doing the same--DH's parents went OOT on tg once, and it was just us. It was the best thanksgiving either of us has ever had.
You have good reasons and deserve to have the holiday to feel like a holiday. Do it!!!

[ECB]

Ditto the others- you aren't bad for skipping. I feel like the holidays just put WAY to omuch pressure on us. You have an entire year to see and spend time w/ family. You dont' have to mush it all in on one day.

[hocus]

I think you should do one or the other and try to alternate years, but I don't think you should skip both. Family is messy and yes little kids can be irriatating but presumably these little kids will grow up and be interesting adults. I go to thanksgiving and it is hard on us because the kids are a handful and the house were we have it is NOT childproof. But sometimes you do things that are hard because it matters.

[winnied]

I wish I had the balls to stand up to ILs. Instead, I'm a huge wuss and do whatever they want.

[kmmssg]

I don't think it makes you a bad person, I think you are setting a boundary and that is usually a good thing.

We have a TON of stuff going on right now and DH's retirement job seriously eats his time and hacks up the day with the crazy hours he gets. He got today's hours last night. Uggg.

I'm the matriarch in my family at the ripe age of 52. I decided I wanted to take the year off of Thanksgiving altogether so DH and I can get some things caught up around here. We are trying to sell a home we don't live in anymore and we have serious buyers coming in to see the house next week. We have stuff to get done.

My grown kids are having Tday with their dad/stepmom and our teenage son hates Turkey and is thrilled with the prospect of a quiet day without turkey. I'm taking this year off and I don't think there is anything wrong with that!

[Deleted]

Nov 13, 2012 20:39:40 GMT -5 dexteroni said:

You would not be bad people for skipping. Both family events sound kind of terrible, whereas your plan of jammies and parade sounds awesome. I think the choice is clear! Just tell your families you're both exhausted and you're skipping this year, and look forward to seeing everyone at Christmas. And you can even leave the last part off if it's not true, lol.

:Y:

[aurora]

We have not spent Thanksgiving with our families in...uhm...11 years? So I do not think you should feel guilty.

(Both of our parents are at least 2 flight connections away so it's a little different, but we could get there if we really wanted to.)