Telling coworkers... secrets don't make friends

[delaunay]

When I announced my pregnancy to colleagues I told my boss first, around 12 weeks. And then all the rest of my immediate coworkers on the same day as each other, around 15 weeks.

Do you think it is a faux pas to tell some colleagues early on but not others until later? I work with a handful of women and I would have definitely said we're all equally "friends" but I've now overheard TWO telling one of our officemates they're pregnant but they didn't tell me yet. I realize it might be very immature of me, but I feel a little left out... now whenever I see each of these girls, which is all the time because we're a small team, I wonder "why did she tell 'Kathy' and not me?" and I feel the camraderie I used to feel in my office dissolving a bit. I told them all on the same day because I didn't want some thinking we were closer than others because we're all teammates, etc... but I guess not everyone is concerned about that? What did you do with your colleagues?

[Deleted]

I've only told three of my coworkers. One because she asked. The other two because they are leaving before I will announce it (one is going on mat leave and she had the same fertility doc as me so I definitely wanted to tell her). Anyway don't feel bad. I almost wish I could take back telling the one who is not leaving because I don't like people knowing this early. Everyone has their own reasons and timeline.

[mrssandro]

Personally I don't have it in my agenda to tell 90% of my coworkers. I want them to think I just got fat. I have told one coworker who is sorta a motherly person and I know she will keep it on the DL until I am ready to out myself.

I wouldn't take it personally. Some people are just more private about their life.

[imoan]

Don't take it personally. It's a very personal choice about who to tell when. Give her time.

[imoan]

Dupe

[imoan]

Dupe

[Deleted]

I personally told a few of my coworkers (the ones who had a legitamate work-related need to know, and my closest friends in my workplace).

I know that since then, a lot of people have figured it out, and some people have probably told others (I didn't ask anyone to keep it a secret). At this point, I honestly have no idea who knows and who doesn't. I can easily see something like what you are describing happening in my situation -- there may be people I haven't specifically told (because I don't like being an AW), but I assume they know, and people may mention it in their presence without realizing that I haven't specifically told that person yet.

I wouldn't take it personally.