Are your ILs friends/freindly with your parents?

[Deleted]

Just out of random curiosity. We've been chatting about ILs and this question popped into my mind. Not that it matters either way

My mom and MIL are very friendly with each other but it never really bloomed into a full friendship. MIL knows my dad personally and that's about it. FIL has never seen or spoken to my dad the entire 15+ years we've been together... isn't that something! And has had minimal contact with my mom.

[americaninoz]

eh they are friendly about once or twice a year via email - that's about it
they live too far away from each other and have only met a few times - so no a friendship has not developed

[expatjen]

My parents are friendly with my in laws, but they also live too far away to form a big relationship. We sometimes Skype, but they don't have deep conversations and it's usually within the context of one set of parents talking to one of us.

[allibally]

My mom is friendly with FIL. But she notices and receives the same coldness back as I do. Makes me feel slightly better.

[elenetxu]

They're friendly, but they can hardly communicate. It's kind of fun watching them try, though. Grandma in law can, though. The woman is 84 years old, was a refugee from the Spanish Civil War in Belgium when she was little, and for some reason can make herself perfectly understood in Spanish with my parents. GMIL is one of my heroes!

[popcorn]

VERY. So friendly my mom insisted my ILs be invited to my sister's wedding this summer. They are coming and we are all going to stay in one big house in Maryland together for two weeks. It'll be crazy, but fun!

It's funny because they are all such good friends, but they can barely communicate.

[Waffles]

They're ok. They only really see each other at Christmas (we usually host) and we organise a dinner when MIL visits but that's it really. I guess they'll get closer when they have grandkids in common. Unless they have a best grandma war.

[pittpurple]

My SIL is really friendly with my father as they live in the same city. They go to dinner and stuff. She's invited my entire immediate family to her wedding this summer and my inlaws all went to my brother's wedding last summer. So I guess that's closer than some, but I don't think they've ever spoken to each other outside when we're all in the same place (basically at my wedding and my brother's wedding!).

[bugabean]

My parents have come to Denmark 3 times. My PILs have never been to the US. BIL and SIL came once. They're cordial, but I wouldn't say they're friends. They send each other small trinkets for Christmas every year.

During my mom's first visit over here, she was telling a story of an interaction with FIL, and I made a comment about how he's always like that, and it kinda opened the floodgates for all the idiosyncrasies that had been driving my mom crazy. Of course, they were all the same things that drive me crazy! It's nice that I have someone to vent to about the stupid things they do, because I know DH doesn't want to hear me rag on his parents all the time. You know, the kind of things that aren't rude or awful, but just kinda grate on you because you're not used to it? My mom and I can talk about that. But she feels, as I do, that they're generally good people and everything.

[Cheesecake]

They've never met and if it'd be up to us, it'd stay like that forever. I'm afraid that when we have kids, they'll all try to make it for birthdays, but honestly, I 'd probably prefer to try ans divvy that up.

Thing is, we know them, and know that them together is just mean to mt ILs. My dad and stepmom have nack for making everybody and their dog feel inferior. My mom just pretty much hates everyone with more money than her (and that's most people) and is very passive agressive about that.
My ILs are super friendly and polite but let people walk over them quite easily.
Yup, them meeting would be bad!

Sent from my phone, please excuse typos!

[jupiter2311]

My ILs are pretty friendly with my parents, they all used to live overseas in the same place so they knew each from before (they werne't really friends then though). When DH and I got married, they lived in the same city as my parents and would have dinners and stuff pretty regulary and we used to celebrate holidays together until ILs moved. (yes, weird i know). My SIL still lives near my parents and they are really close too. I wouldn't say they are all besties or anything but they get along fine with each other.

[anna7602]

They live in different states, but DH and I have been together about 15 years, so they've met plenty of times. They were on the way to becoming friendlier with each other when DD was born, and now they act like they're in competition with each other for "grandparent of the year" award. (Really, it's mostly my ILs that have this attitude.) Le grand sigh.

It's probably better they don't talk much because neither my mother nor MIL has much of a filter and I'm sure it would have just been a matter of time before one said something to deeply offend the other.

[clickerish]

No. But I have no relationship with my parents so they would have no way of meeting my ILs! And they would never communicate if they met anyway since my parents don't speak Spanish. And my ILs don't speak English or Dutch!

[mrsukyankee]

If they meet they are friendly, but honestly between living an ocean apart and being from completely different worlds, they wouldn't hang out even if they lived close by.

[EllieT]

My mom and MIL are really friendly and email eachother all the time.

[crimsonandclover]

They like each other (although mom was of course not so pleased about how MIL was treating me for a while) and see each other when my parents come to visit us, and they e-mail each other on birthdays, but that's about it.

They used to get each other Christmas presents, but we talked them out of it because every year was the same thing - my parents would ask us "What should we get them?" His parents would ask us, "What should we get them?" And everybody ended up giving really generic things like CDs of German xmas music or cookies. We tactfully told them that it was really annoying for us and there would be no hurt feelings if they didn't give each other presents, so they stopped, thank goodness.

[travelingturtle]

They get along, but they've never hung out without us.

[lolo]

They are an appropriate amount of friendly. For example, SIL is a musician and my mom has gone to some of her recitals. My ILs also sent cards to my mom when her mother and grandma died, which meant a lot to her. Occasionally my sister has been invited to IL events, especially by one aunt who adores my sis.

So yeah, it works well with folks being kind and inclusive, but not overbearing BFFs.

[GilliC]

My parents only met the XILs during the wedding stuff. They were friendly online but never close.

My grandma, however, is close Facebook friends with XFIL, and they both love to post stuff and forward it to each other.