IME the big payoff comes when you have your 2nd child and you get to spend a lot of time lying around nursing the baby and reading a book/playing online while your H wrangles the older kid! lol.
Seriously though it is a lot of work and a big reason why we switched to formula when the kids were around 3 months old. I just couldn't keep dealing with ALL of the night wakings for longer than that. I start to feel a little crazy after such a prolonged period of sleep deprivation. I've never had a problem with formula though so that was a good option for us. Good luck, hopefully it will get easier for you!
IME the big payoff comes when you have your 2nd child and you get to spend a lot of time lying around nursing the baby and reading a book/playing online while your H wrangles the older kid! lol.
IME the big payoff comes when you have your 2nd child and you get to spend a lot of time lying around nursing the baby and reading a book/playing online while your H wrangles the older kid! lol.
I loved this stage so much.
So true. I love that I get to hang out with the baby, and DH has to handle the other two hellions when he is home. My 10 month old still wakes up pretty often (esp. this week, thanks to teething), and DH gets to sleep soundly. It is what it is. I know it gets easier, but I'm not there yet. zzzzz.
Ditto the delayed gratification thing another poster said. DD has been weaned for over 2 years now and the times where I was the only one who could comfort her with the breast seem really remote now. Nonetheless, I do still remember the feelings of resentment and they weren't good.
If you can't get a handle on the feelings, it's okay to talk about them. I was surprised to find out the things DH felt resentful or sub-par about when DD was a baby and I wish we had talked about them sooner. He literally felt helpless a lot of times when I just thought he was valuing sleep over my sanity. I am sad I didn't realize/know all that at the time and have vowed to be a lot more sensitive to DH if we have another baby.
Post by MadamePresident on Nov 18, 2012 18:59:55 GMT -5
Life just isn't fair. I don't have the issue so much at night, since the baby sleeps in our room and feeding at night is pretty easy. I have been struggling with the fact that when she starts crying, he isn't able to calm her and she goes back to me.
Its hard being the mom, but it is what it is. The baby is totally worth it and the newborn stage won't last forever.
I felt like feeding at the breast was a lot easier for me than prepping and warming a bottle in the middle of the night. So, even though it fell to me more than a bottle feeding 50-50 split, I still thought it was easier on me than bottles might be. I also figured that I'd be bottle feeding more than 50-50 anyway. DH is a terrible sleeper, so it was always a goal t
When I really needed uniterrupted sleep, DH would do all of the work before BFing, bring her to me (in bed), help me latch and safely held the baby as I fell back to sleep and then settled her down when done. I was awake for like 5 minutes. It wasn't all the time, but it was a nice option when I needed it.
Overall, I felt like I did a lot more work with the baby than DH. He was great, really great. But especially when I went back to work, I don't think he fully *got* how much I was doing. It's just the nature of a family. He did/does stuff that I don't notice too much either. But I do it well (and with love) and don't resent it. I also do things that I really want without guilt (bookclub, house cleaner) so I don't feel like a rag doll.
I really LIKED breastfeeding. It was one of those things that took a lot of work, but really worked out. And it did end. Eventually. Even sadly.
I kept did a lot of side lying nursing in bed. My H would get our son and bring him to me and then return him to the crib afterward and do any diaper changes, etc.
IME the big payoff comes when you have your 2nd child and you get to spend a lot of time lying around nursing the baby and reading a book/playing online while your H wrangles the older kid! lol.
I loved this stage so much.
Me too. I love getting to lay around feeding the baby while my husband entertains a crazy 3 year old. I remember feeling annoyed at my husband in the middle of the night with my first. Now I am just happy that someone is sleeping enough to keep our energetic 3 year old entertained on the weekends when he doesn't have school. He also gets up with the boys in the morning on weekends. It feels great to sleep until 9.