Is this reverse cycling? Or just having a newborn?

[Deleted]

Wow. Last night was HARD. H, DD and I had a really great day. I should have napped more during the day, and actually went to bed at 7:30pm while H stayed downstairs with the baby in an effort toget me some sleep.

He brought her up at 9:30pm INCONSOLEABLE. We boob fed for 45 minutes in the hopes it would get her to settle. We swaddled, shushed, etc. She'd fall asleep only if one of us was holding her, then wake up 15 minutes after being placed in her crib.

Finally at 3;30 H got out of bed, put her in her bouncy chair and laid on the floor next to her. I woke up at 5:30am to H, the dog and the baby all asleep on the floor. Then I took the baby to the guest room, nursed her, swaddled her and co-slept until 9:30am.

She's 6 days old, and a pretty awesome baby. I can understand that after 40 weeks living in my body, being 10 feet away in a cradle is terrifying. My milk has come in, and to my shock it appears that I'll be able to breast feed after having a breast reduction in 2005. I'm fairly certain she's getting enough to eat, and just wants the boob as a pacifier at night. Every hour and 30 minutes...

This is the new normal for a while, isn't it? How long could it take to settle into some kind of routine? Exactly how much stock in coffee should we buy?

[Deleted]

I think it sounds like it can be pretty normal.

Congrats on BFing! I had some supply struggles but made it 8 months - I was pretty shocked too.

[Deleted]

At 6 days she is still figuring out her days from nights. Lots of newborns have it confused--when you are pregnant, they are lulled to sleep by your motion and activity during the day and more active at night when you're not moving around so much, so they are born with days/nights mixed up and it can take a couple of weeks for them to figure it out.

Newborns also tend to cluster feed, especially at night. DD cluster fed a LOT at night, especially in her first month. Your DD sounds exactly like mine was in those early weeks. Reverse cycling is more when they are already on a day/night schedule but don't want to take a bottle while away from mom in daycare all day, so they alter their schedule to sleep all day and nurse all night. It was a fear I had about my bottle-refusing DD but only after I was back at work (she was 3 months old).

I would say we fell into somewhat of a schedule around the 2 to 2.5 month mark. Before that point we just went with the flow.

[karinothing]

Sounds normal to me. Honestly I couldn't put DS down by himself until he was 2.5 months old. DS ate every 2 hours at night for a long time, and that was two hours from the time he started eating. So lets say he started eating at 2am, he finished at 2:45 and he would sleep until 4am and need to eat again. It is all very very normal!

It doesn't last forever though. DS got much better around that 2.5 month mark.

[sewpinkgal]

This all seems normal to me. Those early days are hard and unpredictable. I have a friend that calls them "the dark days" and man, is that an apt description. While you're in it, it feels like it will.never.end. But, eventually they get on a bit of a routine and things will start to feel less wonky. Hang in there.

[hocus]

Reverse cycling would imply that she didn't much during the day and nursed all night. It doesn't really sound like that. In general babies get worse/fussier until 6-8 weeks and then improve and by 12-16 weeks are happier and more into a routine or can be put into a routine. There is no normal at 6 days old. It can be very common for there to be a 1-2 week honeymoon so if this is very different from the first few days that is also normal.

Get a moby/ktan and/or a swing if the problem persists and do your best. Keep in mind that some babies do best if you do nothing. If you've tried everything and it has been over an hour time alone might actually be the best thing. We used to let my kid "swing angry" for a while and it did seem to help when nothing else would. The big huge swings that can do both side to side and head to toe swinging are the best. Some babies have a real prefernce for one vs. the other. In those early days I went to bed early a lot and would take a nap everyday (sometimes with my baby). There was a lot of waiting around until it got better. My kid is still very fussy but he stopped crying like that by 4 months and generally started sleeping through the night around 8 or 9 months. We put him on a schedule at 4 months.

[Brie]

C was a little crazy right when my milk came in. I think he was very much like "OMG this stuff is awesome" and nursed pretty much every hour.

Ditto the suggestions to babywear. C is the same way about naps--we can put him down somewhere asleep, but he'll wake up 15 minutes later and won't go back down. So now I wear him in the Ergo for naptime, and he will take 3ish hour naps in that. It's not ideal, but it keeps him from getting overtired and I can get stuff done around the house. Before I got the newborn insert for the Ergo, I felt like I was trapped on the couch because I had to hold him for naps and it was bad news for my sanity.

ETA: And when it gets bad, I just repeat, "he can't stay awake forever," over and over. She WILL eventually fall asleep.

[gibbinator]

It could be a growth spurt, in which case you're in for 2-4 days of "fun."

Could just be her normal too, ds and I slept in a recliner for roughly 2 weeks when we brought him home - wouldn't sleep alone. He outgrew it

[bunch]

My daughter slept in a vibrating bouncer for like the first month of her life.

[Deleted]

DS ate every 2 hours for the first week and a half. He also wouldn't sleep anywhere but the rnp and swing for the first 6 MONTHS.

[curbsideprophet]

Sounds pretty normal. The first two weeks were so exhausting for me. I really try not to think about it. It did get better though.

[knitty]

Agree it's normal clusterfeeding/ mixed up days and nights. Cool that your reduction hasn't affected nursing.

Don't forget that when you cosleep you need to follow the rules - no painkillers, only you next to baby, no gaps to get wedged in, firm surface, no bedding, small pillow, hair up. (although it sounds like you know the rules, it never hurts to remind the lurkers)

[Deleted]

We started cosleeping on Day 4. It's safer to be in a properly prepared bed than a recliner or couch.

Sleep when the baby sleeps. Cliche, yes, but it's the luxury of a first baby. Don't throw it away.

Days and nights usually get straightened out in a couple weeks.

[Deleted]

If possible last night was worse! Nothing but the boob would console her. 10pm-2am seems to the witching hour around here. After that she slept from 2am to 6:30am easily.

My in-laws are flying in for Thanksgiving tomorrow through Friday. I just instructed H to call and tell them they should probably rent a hotel room rather than stay with us and the screaming.

It's temporary. She's only 7 days old. We'll get there.

[sewpinkgal]

Nov 19, 2012 12:53:27 GMT -5 @idaholakelady said:

If possible last night was worse! Nothing but the boob would console her. 10pm-2am seems to the witching hour around here. After that she slept from 2am to 6:30am easily.

My in-laws are flying in for Thanksgiving tomorrow through Friday. I just instructed H to call and tell them they should probably rent a hotel room rather than stay with us and the screaming.

It's temporary. She's only 7 days old. We'll get there.

The only time I've had my mom rent a hotel room when visiting us was when J was first born. We had arranged for her to do that ahead of time and thank god. I was so stressed out about ALL THE THINGS and having a permanent house guest would have put me over the edge. As it was, she could visit for a couple hours and then when I was about to lose my shit, she headed out and I could regroup. I think the hotel is the right call.

FWIW, when my mom visited again when J was 2.5 months old, she stayed with us and it was fine. Those early days are just really really hard.

[evynsmama]

DD had a strong suck reflex and wasn't hungry but just needed to suck on something to sleep, we gave her a soothie pacifier at 3 days old and it made a world of difference. It didn't mess with her breastfeeding at all, but I made sure that I nursed her every 2 hours minimum for the first few weeks.

[karinothing]

Nov 19, 2012 12:53:27 GMT -5 @idaholakelady said:

If possible last night was worse! Nothing but the boob would console her. 10pm-2am seems to the witching hour around here. After that she slept from 2am to 6:30am easily.

My in-laws are flying in for Thanksgiving tomorrow through Friday. I just instructed H to call and tell them they should probably rent a hotel room rather than stay with us and the screaming.

It's temporary. She's only 7 days old. We'll get there.

I know it seems tough, but I wouldn't fret about the boob being the only thing to console her. IMO you can't nurse a baby too much. Maybe I am a lazy parent but in those early days the second DS stirred I put him on the boob. I can't even remember attempting to console him in a non-boob related matter for probably the first two months, heck even now I fall back to the boob.

To be fair, I never had a problem with DS nursing 24/7. I just watched lots of good movies and read some awesome books and then made DH made me good food.

I want to say again that it really is normal for babies to not want to be put down in those early days. I think we did a poll on here once and I swear the majority of us co-slept in the beginning.