Assumptions

[NomadicMama]

How often do you run into locals with negative assumptions of Americans?

I was just out walking the dog. I encountered a neighbor. He said that because his wife is Filipino, they had a number of American friends in one of the local military housing communities. I said that they didn't have room for us, so we got to choose where to live. He commented on how expensive it is, but then said that the government paid for it, so it didn't matter.

Ummm, last I checked, while the exact amount is dependent upon his duty location/assignment, my husband's housing allowance is part of his compensation package--that he earns. Yes, this is a nice assignment, I am enjoying this opportunity. But, we are not living the highlife on the government's nickel. In fact, we paid more rent for less house back in the States. We are not taking undue advantage.

Do you encounter this much? If you have encountered this, how did you deal with it? I mean internally? I know that saying something snarky won't do any good.

He wasn't being mean, in fact, I think he was just making conversation. He was out with his dog. He asked if my dog was a boy or girl. When I said boy, he cautioned me about his dog--evidently his dog does not like other males. Oh, and his dog was not on a leash.

Not the way I wanted to start my day. Oh well. We have important guests coming today--Popcorn and Kernel. So, I must go tidy up!

[allibally]

Sometimes yes. I can't really think of many situations I had to listen to them though. The Swiss were not big on chit chat when I was there. Usually I was just nod and move on.

You won't see dog's on leashes much even if they have behavior issues. Especially if your not walking in a city center. In Zurich people would come on the tram and train with their dogs following behind without a leash. (Which is against the rules)

[wise_rita]

I would not consider that interaction a "negative assumption about Americans". He just made an assumption about military compensation, and you know what they say about ASSuming...

I have run into virtually no negative assumptions about Americans abroad because I am often the first one people have met outside of America. Sure, the negative caricature of the WalMart-loving, gun-toting, overweight American exists in the world, but nobody I've run in to assumes I am that way.

[anna7602]

I think people make assumptions about one's economic situation based on where you live all the time, whether it's tied to being a foreigner or not. Hearing it said out loud is a little annoying, but I wouldn't think it's necessarily negative, just a bit intrusive/nosy. Sounds like your neighbor is a little nosy.

[NomadicMama]

May 24, 2012 2:21:03 GMT -5 anna7602 said:

I think people make assumptions about one's economic situation based on where you live all the time, whether it's tied to being a foreigner or not. Hearing it said out loud is a little annoying, but I wouldn't think it's necessarily negative, just a bit intrusive/nosy. Sounds like your neighbor is a little nosy.

FTR, I'm not all worked up about this, despite what it might appear. ;D Anna's comment makes sense. He was being nosey and conversational in a language not his first.

This one conversation spurred me to post, but I think it's a culmination of multiple interactions that I've had recently. I may be a bit sensitive, too. I know that there are Americans (living back home and abroad) who fit the negative stereotypes. And I understand that the US military presence abroad come with positive and negative impacts. I'm also very proud of my DH's service/career and he has earned the things we have. So, I will own feeling a bit defensive/reactive. I came here to pose the question as it is one that I am mulling over in my head.

As for the unleashed dog. . . I don't understand someone warning me about their potentially aggressive dog, then allowing it near mine. But, I'm sensitive about this too--my DH and dog were attacked by a neighbor's two dogs in January. Smudge has been to the vet more in the first four months of this year than he normally goes in three years!

Thanks for helping me work through

[clogged]

The only anti-American comments I have had usually stemmed from very drunk assholes who hate their own government as well. So I like to think of it as a general, mis-informed, overall assholeishness.

I heart the fact I can swear.

[travelingturtle]

There was a discussion on the other board a while ago about how places with a large expat community have higher rents because the companies pay for their housing as part of their compensation package. It makes it more difficult for the locals.

When my dad was stationed in Germany when I was in high school there was a huge housing crisis near the base closest to us. So, to a local, it's probably a sucky situation that not only is it harder for them to now find housing, but that in many cases the housing Americans tend to get is quite a bit bigger than what a local around the same age would be getting. They probably see it as waste above anything else (what do you need with all that space!) Doesn't matter how it's paid or how it's earned, I can see a local being bothered that there's a base with all this housing and yet people are living off base. He probably has no clue (or care) that base housing is often not enough for the people stationed there. The good thing is, it's not your problem. You can't force the US government to build more housing on base and you have to live somewhere.

[ktkl09]

May 24, 2012 1:22:43 GMT -5 NomadicMama said:

How often do you run into locals with negative assumptions of Americans?

I was just out walking the dog. I encountered a neighbor. He said that because his wife is Filipino, they had a number of American friends in one of the local military housing communities. I said that they didn't have room for us, so we got to choose where to live. He commented on how expensive it is, but then said that the government paid for it, so it didn't matter.

Ummm, last I checked, while the exact amount is dependent upon his duty location/assignment, my husband's housing allowance is part of his compensation package--that he earns. Yes, this is a nice assignment, I am enjoying this opportunity. But, we are not living the highlife on the government's nickel. In fact, we paid more rent for less house back in the States. We are not taking undue advantage.

Do you encounter this much? If you have encountered this, how did you deal with it? I mean internally? I know that saying something snarky won't do any good.

He wasn't being mean, in fact, I think he was just making conversation. He was out with his dog. He asked if my dog was a boy or girl. When I said boy, he cautioned me about his dog--evidently his dog does not like other males. Oh, and his dog was not on a leash.

Not the way I wanted to start my day. Oh well. We have important guests coming today--Popcorn and Kernel. So, I must go tidy up!

Which military base are you at in Germany?

[bugabean]

May 24, 2012 1:44:12 GMT -5 wise_rita said:

Sure, the negative caricature of the WalMart-loving, gun-toting, overweight American exists in the world, but nobody I've run in to assumes I am that way.

This is my experience too. You might get someone who says "oh so you love guns and cowboy hats" with a winkwinknudgenudge but no one seems to actually believe that everyone is like that.

[crimsonandclover]

I've heard a few eyeroll-worthy comments, generally about me surely wanting to eat at McDonalds or something stereotypical like that.

Most of the people I'm friends with now have either been to the US themselves (a lot of Germans have been there on exchanges) or are educated enough to know that stereotypes usually aren't true. I agree that he was probably just trying to make conversation and didn't realize it might be offensive.

Have fun with popcorn and kernel today :-)

[clickerish]

I tend to get the, "You're not at ALL like an American!!!" I find that amusing because it (a) implies they somehow expected something else and (b) because I don't even consider myself much of an American except in the technical sense of the word.

I do, however, wonder who they have met especially when they complain about issues such as "table manners." It helps to remember that Americans abroad as tourists sometimes annoy me as well, but they are often very lovely people back home.

[Wanderista]

I could definitely say a lot about this. I've experienced a lot of it and also I've experienced a lot of "Americans behaving badly abroad." I lived in London during the height of the anti-Iraq War intensity, so I have experienced a lot of anti-American sentiment. I was frequently lectured, experienced lots of negative and often ignorant comments, and in a few cases outright discrimination. I was once at a pub with an American friend and the bartender refused to serve us even though we had IDs. He said, "Only UK IDs are valid here." So what? Only Brits can drink here, Mr. BNP? When my friend showed him her military ID he said, "Well now, you can go and join the army then." I will say though that was rare, I made lots great friends - usually the "I don't like Americans but I like you" types. I never really minded the lecturers either, I had fun talking with those kinds of people.

There are definitely Americans who justify the stereotypes, but what I will say I have realized is that every country has its annoying tourists, its ignorant people, its negative behavioral patterns and as many people who defy stereotypes. Yes, there are some bad American tourists (expats too, though I've seen less of those) but I have seen obnoxious, impolite, culturally insensitive behavior from people from all over the world. People just need to take others at face value.

[GilliC]

I had a drunk Norwegian girl once make some kind of anti-American comment to my drunk Canadian friend, saying Canadians were so much different/better. And the drunk Canadian nearly started a bar brawl arguing that Americans and Canadians were actually very similar, and we had to drag her away shouting about how North America was one big happy family. Good times!

That was my only anti-American moment that didn't come from a fellow American though. Especially seeing my parents here! OMG! They talk so loud on the subway! What is up with that?!

But I am definitely guilty of the housing thing. I had a friend in an Army program to study in Beijing, and she lived in a friggin mansion of an apartment. I lived in an okay place, but it was the dingiest of the ex-pats I knew, and it cost a small fortune. Since I still had to pay taxes to the US at the time because of my contract, it bugged me that my tax money was paying for her palace.

[elenetxu]

May 24, 2012 10:53:11 GMT -5 GilliC said:

I had a drunk Norwegian girl once make some kind of anti-American comment to my drunk Canadian friend, saying Canadians were so much different/better. And the drunk Canadian nearly started a bar brawl arguing that Americans and Canadians were actually very similar, and we had to drag her away shouting about how North America was one big happy family. Good times!

Where in Canada was she from? Give her a hug for me, please.

I came to Spain expecting to be given hell. Instead, I've found it exponentially less anti-American than in Canada. During my four years in Canada, I got so angry I cried at least twice. To be fair, though, I was there for Bush's reelection and a lot of very nasty things were said at that point. Also, Rick Mercer's old Talkingto Americans bit certainly doesn't help our reputation. I had a pretty hard time in Atlantic Canada, but have never been the target of such negativity here.

[popcorn]

I agree that it was less an assumption about Americans and more about military stuff. However, still something that might get under my skin.

My encounters with assumptions about Americans generally involved food in Spain. People said stuff about how Americans just love fast food and they are surprised I'm not bigger (thanks, I guess?). But that really only happened with some friends of an odd friend of Pedro's--and while drinking. So I guess I haven't run into a lot of negative assumptions about Americans. When that came up I just said it's true I love fast food, but Americans are not all obese and just as many Spaniards eat fatty stuff all the time. Come on, jamon serrano and bread every day with every meal (my ILs even eat bread with pizza) is not what I consider super healthy.

Also, in case anyone is wondering our meetup was great and the house was very tidy.

[clickerish]

Good call on the fast food thing. If one more person tells me all Americans are fat...I live in a town where nobody is fat--everyone is obsessed with health food and McDonalds closed down for lack of business.

[allibally]

Fast food is definitely not the norm as much. Seriously the only two places I go for fast food are Culver's (burger joint) and Chick-fil-a. Closest Culver's is over an hour away. So I usually only get that when I visit my family or on my 2 1/2 drive there and back. Chick-fil-a is downtown and I don't go often either. At the most I have fast food 2-3 times a month.

Occasional subs at Jimmy Johns too. Three this whole year.

[cailinabroad]

When I studied in France and Germany it used to drive me crazy when people would say things like, "Oh you're American? But you're not fat!" or "Wow, you seem so smart to be American". I was really shocked and insulted that people could say something so rude to someone they hardly knew. It also bothered me to get lectured by foreigners who'd never set foot in America and could count the number of actual Americans they'd met in real life on one hand and yet felt like experts on my own country. I'm sorry, but watching How I Met Your Mother doesn't make you the expert on American societal problems or politics!

Of course, I also met plenty of perfectly nice and open minded people during my time abroad. It just proves there are assholes in any country. You just have to be a good cultural ambassador and prove them wrong!

[NomadicMama]

May 24, 2012 6:15:44 GMT -5 @ktkl09 said:

Which military base are you at in Germany?

My husband is stationed at Wiesbaden. We've been here about 2.5 months.

I understand how the American military does upset the balance of things in a community. There are downsides. But, there are positives, too! But, I get that most people only feel how it directly impacts them. The town where we live, there aren't many service members. Rents are high here all on their own.

I'm just settling in, mentally. And trying to determine how to not take things personally. And yes, there are situations where service members and their dependents do take advantage of benefits. There is a poll on Money Matters right now about military compensation. It seems that Americans have similar ideas about military compensation. Our housing is not free. Our health coverage is not free. We just don't have to pay any additional money. It's not free--service member earn these things.

I will develop a thicker sick. Again though, despite having posted about it, this is not something that had me all upset. Just trying to work things through.

[NomadicMama]

Oh--and LO and I had a wonderful time with Popcorn and that adorable Kernel!!! The first thing LO asked when he got up from his nap was to see Baby.

[popcorn]

May 25, 2012 1:47:56 GMT -5 NomadicMama said:

Oh--and LO and I had a wonderful time with Popcorn and that adorable Kernel!!! The first thing LO asked when he got up from his nap was to see Baby.

Aw, so sweet!

[oneslybookworm]

I've had it happen a few times in the NL. I was having dinner with a friend when a guy walked up to our table and started chatting. He told me he could tell I was American, and I made a joke, asking if my white tennis shoes gave me away. He looked right at me and said, "no, it's because of your arrogant attitude.". No joke, we had only been making pleasantries for about a minute and it was small talk! What did I have to be arrogant about?!

[dulcemariamar]

I think things have been pretty good ever since the 2008 elections. People really gave me a hard time when I was living in Argentina but people here really dont care. Sometimes, they might make silly comments about fastfood because I think they really believe we only eat hamburgers and fastfood every day.