Is it okay/PC to call someone "bipolar"

[downtoearth]

So I have heard this from friends/family in recent years...where when someone does one thing but says another, they are called "bipolar" in a critical or funny way.

I am always a little wary, but not really knowing someone who is bipolar, I wonder if it's slightly offensive.

[druidp]

Since my brother was diagnosed, I've been more cognizant of it. I tend to refer to those type of incidents as manic, or "waffling." I hope that's not offensive to Eggo.

[ringstrue]

Well its certainly not PC or accurate. You mean like if they are being hypocritical?

[gbck]

I don't like it.

I don't like it because it re-enforces (incorrect, FWIW) stereotypes of various diseases.

(and it's not limited to BiPolar. I've gotten soap-box-y about people saying "Oh, you're so ADD" to people. Really...no. It shows that people think that ADD is the 10-Year-old boy bouncing off the wall and they're not cognizant of the reality of it.

Same for BiPolar. It re-enforces the (incorrect) stereotype that bipolar is multiple personalities/doing one thing/saying another. And it makes light of something life-altering and devastating to a lot of families.

(I'd probably not say anything. Probably. But it's not cool, just the same)

[pescalita]

We call A Bipolar Baby when he's super tired and doing the screaming/crying one minute, laughing the next thing.

It's on a long list of inappropriate things we try not to say outside the house.

[UMaineTeach]

It's up there with 'that's so gay' and 'stop being retarded'

[sb]

I have Bipolar II. It bothers me but it bothered me before I was diagnosed. Especially because usually the behavior has nothing to do with what being bipolar actually means.

It also bothers me when my friend says she's so OCD (this one seems really common but she's BAD about it). No, friend. You are particular.

They're medical disorders. Would you say "you're so diabetic!" and laugh if your friend or coworker had a sugar crash? Probably not.

[Deleted]

Ditto others. It perpetuates stereotypes and downplays the legitimacy/seriousness of the disease.

My H is Bi-Polar II and ADD thanks to a traumatic brain injury. This combination is extremely difficult to medicate and he may never be stable again. It is absolute hell some days for me and our two children. Not really something I have a sense of humor about.

That said, I don't jump down someone's throat if I hear it. I might gently ask that they consider what they are really saying, though.

[LLYS]

It is offesive. Falls in the same category as calling some a retard or gay.

[downtoearth]

May 24, 2012 11:10:59 GMT -5 @LLYS said:

It is offesive. Falls in the same category as calling some a retard or gay.

I don't use it, but it doesn't seem to fall in the same category yet. I see it on here/TN and have heard it IRL recently and nobody I know IRL calls something "gay" or "retarded" anymore.

It's like the new word to insert as a funny insult and that's why I'm wondering if I should speak-up ever.

[statlerwaldorf]

I find it offensive. Growing up with a bipolar parent makes me not like to hear the word used casually.

[msmerymac]

It's similar to calling someone OCD for being a little fastidious. Bipolar is an actual diagnosis, not just a "negative personality trait." It's a little offensive. On the offensive scale, it's not the worst you can do, just a bit unaware and insensitive.

[psyck]

As a mental health professional, yes, calling someone bipolar as a joke is offensive to me. I also find calling someone 'retarded', 'anti-social' or 'spaz' offensive.

[wawa]

May 24, 2012 13:13:51 GMT -5 psyck said:

As a mental health professional, yes, calling someone bipolar as a joke is offensive to me. I also find calling someone 'retarded', 'anti-social' or 'spaz' offensive.

retarded I get.

anti-social and spaz though? Care to elaborate?

I know that antisocial personality disorder is a thing. But unlike bipolar, antisocial has a standalone non-clinical meaning. So...how is that offensive?

And spaz as offensive has me totally confused. I assume it is derived from spastic at some point, but doesn't that just mean prone to muscle twitchy issues. Like spastic colon? Is there some other meaning?

[emmybean]

I have multiple immediate family members who are bipolar and I use the term all the time in a derogatory context.

Being offended by it only betrays ignorance of the disease, IMO.

[sillygoosegirl]

I use bipolar to describe certain members of my family, and certain behaviors they engage in. In the case of those members of my family, it is unfortunately medically accurate. And sometimes I use the word to describe people who don't have that diagnosis as far as I know but are behaving in the same way.

However, it does bother me when people use it for emphasis or when they clearly don't know what it means to be bipolar. I'm generally for descriptive language, but I think it should be used correctly.

[Deleted]

May 24, 2012 16:54:17 GMT -5 emmybean said:

I have multiple immediate family members who are bipolar and I use the term all the time in a derogatory context.

Being offended by it only betrays ignorance of the disease, IMO.

This makes no sense to me. Those of us who are currently living with Bipolar family members are probably not ignorant of the disease. Given the standard mortality rate by suicide of people who are diagnosed with Bipolar it just isn't that funny to me.

I really agree with the PP who made the comparison to some other chronic illness like diabetes. I have diabetic family members, I wouldn't really joke about that either....

[bronxgirl]

There is more than enough stigma and misinformation about mental illness. Making a joke out of a very serious illness is offensive to me.

[overture]

I assume people consider the casual use of these words offensive because they target vulnerable people who have no control over the trait that others are making fun of. With that in mind, is it offensive to call someone stupid, too?

[Seesaw]

May 24, 2012 13:13:51 GMT -5 psyck said:

As a mental health professional, yes, calling someone bipolar as a joke is offensive to me. I also find calling someone 'retarded', 'anti-social' or 'spaz' offensive.

I totally agree. Definitely not nice, "pc" or professional. It might be ok amongst your close friends or family if you guys affectionately abuse each other like that. It's not ok at work or in polite or mixed company.

Bipolar people are not always hypocrites btw, say one thing do another. The ones I know basically behave like they have seriously irrational mood swings up and down, periods of high agitation followed by a low period. Hmmmm, maybe I just described manic-depressive disorder. But no, the bipolar people do have highs and lows like that. I just don't know the difference in the two diseases.

[emmybean]

If you were truly educated on the disease you would know that it manifests itself in many different ways. My fathers bipolar presents so differently than my STBXMIL's. And they both present differently than my half sister. Or my very good friend. So when I, or someone else, uses the term in a jokingly derogatory fashion, I can see clearly that the over simplification of the term does not anything to do with the disease, and am able to separate the term in such a context from the realities of the disease.

Logic > humor > emotion.

[winofairy]

May 24, 2012 9:05:09 GMT -5 sb said:

I have Bipolar II. It bothers me but it bothered me before I was diagnosed. Especially because usually the behavior has nothing to do with what being bipolar actually means.

It also bothers me when my friend says she's so OCD (this one seems really common but she's BAD about it). No, friend. You are particular.

They're medical disorders. Would you say "you're so diabetic!" and laugh if your friend or coworker had a sugar crash? Probably not.

Ditto this ^^^

I have been diagnosed with Bi-polar, Major Depression, GAD, ADD and OCD.

A few years ago I had a few really nasty bitches post all over the Internet about me using my full name. They even made several blog posts and facebook pages all about my medical disorders and some of my obsessive behaviors just for spite and meanness.

They laughed and joked all about me. They tried making me out to be some psychotic sociopath. They went as far as saying/posting that I would turn out to be a kidnapper/baby stealer or even worse would hurt a child. They even made jokes about my IF struggles. I even started receiving nasty emails at home and work about how I was going to gut some poor innocent pg girl and steal her baby.

It was horrible and really really bothered me. I was physically and emotionally sick for months over it!

When I talked to my therapist about it she said it was like they took a pic of a cancer patient who lost all their hair and made fun of them. Which is just SO UNCOOL!

Mental illness is very real and unless you live with it in your life most people truly do not understand it. It carries a lot of stereotypes that are very incorrect. We don't do enough medical research in this area and it really needs it because people do not understand the legitimacy and seriousness of the diseases of the mind.

My ex husband would never believe I was sick. Even after I was hospitalized. He would always say "you can't be sick if you have rational thought." Ummm...Yes, you can! I am not a schizophrenic, a sociopath, or a psychopath.

I really do try and have a sense of humor about it all and luckily I'm a pretty laid back person so I don't tend to get my panties in a wad if I hear someone joking about it in general.

[emmybean]

Nope. BiPolar can be funny. I laugh about it with my dad often. Either that or maybe I was just raised wrong. I don't know, but I think it must suck to live your life so rigidly all the fucking time.

If you are offended by the non clinical use of the term, you are reacting emotionally. That's fine--- but own it, rather than putting it on others to tip toe around by not using the term in clearly jocular ways.

(and yes, there is a time where the term is offensive. As with most words. Tone and context mean a lot. But that is no different than any other word)

[emmybean]

May 25, 2012 11:08:02 GMT -5 chilerellanos said:

May 25, 2012 11:04:11 GMT -5 emmybean said:

Nope. BiPolar can be funny. I laugh about it with my dad often. Either that or maybe I was just raised wrong. I don't know, but I think it must suck to live your life so rigidly all the fucking time.

If you are offended by the non clinical use of the term, you are reacting emotionally. That's fine--- but own it, rather than putting it on others to tip toe around by not using the term in clearly jocular ways.

(and yes, there is a time where the term is offensive. As with most words. Tone and context mean a lot. But that is no different than any other word)

Well, it does suck right now, because we are having trouble getting her stable. She has been hospitalized a few times, and we have to call the police pretty regularly on her. She's not fun to live with and it's stressful for the entire family. It's a huge strain.

There's also the possibility that at some point, she may become a ward of the court. It's extremely devastating as a parent to be told this. It would be so that she can get more help than my insurance will pay for. But I'm telling you, these are difficult issues for a parent to face.

I'm not an uptight bitch, I'm just a parent who is trying to help my family get through every single day.

I am so not going to get in to a round of the Suffering Olympics with you over this, and I'm sorry that you are going through a tough time right now, but believe me when I say that it is very difficult to be the adult child of an unstable parent as well. That doesn't mean I can't see the humor in it---even now, as we wade through yet another episode. If you don't use humor to get through it, that's fine. All I'm saying is don't get offended AT me for MY use of it to get some relief.

[emmybean]

The original question was about friends and family and the general use of the word and more than one person stated they find it offensive even in a general sense.

My comment about rigidity was not aimed at any one persons feelings on the term as personally humorous or not but the declaration that it's not or cannot be funny to anyone or is always offensive, no matter the context outside of clinical use.

[Deleted]

May 25, 2012 12:05:51 GMT -5 emmybean said:

The original question was about friends and family and the general use of the word and more than one person stated they find it offensive even in a general sense.

My comment about rigidity was not aimed at any one persons feelings on the term as personally humorous or not but the declaration that it's not or cannot be funny to anyone or is always offensive, no matter the context outside of clinical use.

Certainly humor is a great coping mechanism, and one that I use all the time.

But humor about a situation is different than generalized humor about a term. The original question was asking if the term is generally offensive in mixed company. ANY word, no matter how offensive in general can be funny with the right people and the right context. It's more about knowing (and even helping define) general social boundaries than living your entire life with a single set of rules.

So yeah, laughing about my mom's delusions with my brother = funny. Suggesting that my husband go ahead and clean the house since he'll be up for three days in a manic episode anyway = funny (sometimes). Saying that a moody co-worker is Bipolar.... meh.