I'm getting a divorce

[Deleted]

Yesterday, I walked in the house with a bag full of lays and a tub of french onion dip. I sit my happy ass right next to my husband and regale him with the knowledge that I've been craving chips and dip for a straight week and omg, this is sooo good, nom nom nom.

We eat about half, because we're greedy fuckers like that and put the rest of away.

And you know what this chode of douchebaggery just did?

He ATE THE REST OF MY CHIPS AND DIP!!!

Fucker.

[marie427]

That's pretty much the most valid reason for divorce ever.

[broc]

Look, this is how all MEN are!! They can't eat just one! Don't tie him down!

[twotrue]

At a minimum he should get a good shanking if divorce isn't in the cards. And I say this as the girl that ate her wife's PhD celebration cake when she fell asleep early.

[Deleted]

I love that you can type fucker and not have it censored!!!

[meshaliuknits]

I knew this would be food related. I figured he ate your yogurt.

[Deleted]

May 11, 2012 12:14:43 GMT -5 meshaliuknits said:

I knew this would be food related. I figured he ate your yogurt.

He only eats orange creamsicle yogurt so I'm safe there.

[Mrs.Beagle]

Oh no. No no no no no.

That would not fly. He better be going out and getting you more.

[druidp]

HAB, for next DH you need to be finding someone whose tastes differ vastly from your own. I get a ginormous calzone from my favorite Italian place, and that thing is ALL mine. Same goes for his shitty Chinese-dollar-per-scoop food - he knows I won't touch it and he's free to devour it fully.

Just some friendly wifely advise for a successful marriage. YWIA

[Daria Morgandorffer]

H knows to stay the fuck away from my Deans french onion dip. Dealbreaker.

[josieposy]

DH usually knows better than to touch my Dove bars.

[EllieArroway]

OMG. My husband knows that french onion dip is mine and I do.not.share under any circumstances.

[cookiemdough]

My husband ate the last of my ice cream and then tried to deny it, lol. I may or may not have almost shed a tear in frustration. I mean seriously, who the f eats the last of a pregnant woman's B&J cookie dough ice cream?

[Deleted]

May 11, 2012 12:34:20 GMT -5 cookiemdough said:

My husband ate the last of my ice cream and then tried to deny it, lol. I may or may not have almost shed a tear in frustration. I mean seriously, who the f eats the last of a pregnant woman's B&J cookie dough ice cream?

Was he blaming it on trolls sneaking up in your house??

[cookiemdough]

May 11, 2012 12:58:58 GMT -5 @habbsies said:

May 11, 2012 12:34:20 GMT -5 cookiemdough said:

My husband ate the last of my ice cream and then tried to deny it, lol. I may or may not have almost shed a tear in frustration. I mean seriously, who the f eats the last of a pregnant woman's B&J cookie dough ice cream?

Was he blaming it on trolls sneaking up in your house??

Worse, he tried to tell me I ate it and just didn't remember. "Babe, don't you remember when I brought you ice cream upstairs the other night, that was the last of it."

Um no. I only got a couple of spoonfuls so I know I did not finish off the whole container. Then he comped to maybe having a bite "just to finish it off" since there was only a little left.

The only thing worse was if he blamed it on the 4 year old. And DS doesn't even like ice cream.

[twotrue]

May 11, 2012 12:58:05 GMT -5 @littlemoxie said:

Also, anyone see Sibil?

I was wondering the same thing but I think she is on vacation.

[dev22]

May 11, 2012 13:15:54 GMT -5 twotrue said:

May 11, 2012 12:58:05 GMT -5 @littlemoxie said:

Also, anyone see Sibil?

I was wondering the same thing but I think she is on vacation.

Yeah, she is. We jsut have to remember to get her over here when she gets back.

[Deleted]

Oh, you are totally justified on that one! I share your chips and dip weakness and am lucky that my DH doesn't like dip and isn't the cheese freak that I am. But it's a curse, too. I'll have chips and dip, or crackers and cheese, and he'll finish off the chips or finish off the crackers. Arrrgggggghhhh. Then you've got to throw out the rest of the dip or buy more crackers for the cheese.

[kmpls]

I love chips and dip.

[IIOY]

My H is the absolute worst about finishing any fun food in the house. He does it after I go to bed.

What the motherfuck?

[meshaliuknits]

May 11, 2012 13:16:50 GMT -5 dev22 said:

May 11, 2012 13:15:54 GMT -5 twotrue said:

I was wondering the same thing but I think she is on vacation.

Yeah, she is. We jsut have to remember to get her over here when she gets back.

No woman left behind!

[EloiseWeenie]

Sometimes I wish I had a label maker, so I can leave messages on food I want to eat.

"If you eat this, you mop the floor for a month!"

"If you eat this, YOU have to pick out gifts for your family. . . and send them yourself!"

[JLN]

I hide my good snacks inside an empty box of Quaker oatmeal because I know he'd never go for the oatmeal. ;D