My mom became a lot better mom once she discovered Prozac around the time I was 12 or 14. She tried hard and loved us to bits, but her life was pretty hard. My dad can be an asshole, there was conflict between him and his step-kids (my older half-sibs). She was clinically depressed for most of her life and didn't figure it out until she was practically 50. She used to put up with a lot of bullshit.
And you know what? I look back fondly on my (somewhat screwy) childhood. My mom and I get along fine. I don't have to be perfect to be a good mom, just like she's wasn't and isn't perfect. As long as there's love, I really do think it will all turn out fine. She also taught me the benefit of benign neglect and letting kids find their own way.
No, I hope to be a better mom actually. My mom did the best she could as a single parent and that came with a lot of pros and cons. I do understand some of her "crazy" a little bit better now that I am a mother, but she is still cuckoo to me.
awesome story madringirl My mom has unlimited patience and that is one thing I really admire about her and wish I could bottle just a little of. However she has horrible body image and definitely left me with that as well, and it's something I hope I can overcome with the girls. We didn't always get along when I lived at home because we're very, very different, but she's one of my closest friends now and the best grandmother the girls could imagine having
Post by atouchofklasse on Nov 21, 2012 10:21:04 GMT -5
My mom is awesome; given above posts, patient and kind aren't the words I'd use to describe her although she's neither impatient nor unkind.
She was a working mom who always soldiered through anything thrown at her, found fun in any circumstance, taught me a lot about money and outsourcing and bottom line not feeling guilty when she/I shouldn't. She had a life outside of her kids and stressed the importance of both girlfriends and couple friends. She also didn't obsess about how she looked (although she was always presentable) or how much she weighed which I know is a huge blessing. Further, she had/has a very healthy partnership with my father which is exactly how I see my marriage.
This is funny, I have never thought of this. I must think I'm like the world's best mom or something. My mil is like you described and is always sacrificing for her kids and thinking of them first, but my husband never washed a dish when he lived at home, so I don't really thank her for that. I guess there are ways I'd like to be like my mom or mil, but I'm pretty confident doing it my way, too.
I hate that my MIL spoiled my H and still does. Weird because his Dad washes dishes every week when we are there. My kid will not be spoiled by me like that. I will follow my Mom's lead. I think we grew up well adjusted. My Mom gets angry and I see that in me sometimes (but not with L, just with my H). My Mom had her own daycare in her house, so she is very hands on and loves to play 24-7. I have less energy than her even now.
I love my mom. Trust. We get along very well. But in a LOOOOOOOOOT of ways I am far more of an adult than she will ever be. I'm much more responsible, more of a planner, SO MUCH LESS of a 'worrier'. There's a lot of things I will do so much differently than my mom. Travel. Finances. Stability.
Yes. My mom was/is incredible. Like best mother ever. I try not to compare myself to her too much, as I fear I will never live up to the example she set. I would settle for being half as good.