What do you need to make things easier/better?

[Deleted]

What do you need to make things easier/better? --- This was the counselor's question to me. Well, I was not prepared. LOL. DH and I had our first counseling session yesterday.

So, I need ideas from you. I assume most of you will say a housekeeper made your life easier. My busiest times are weeknights. I've heard some here talked about mother's helpers. Can anyone tell me more about this? Also, does anyone pay someone to pickup/dropoff their kid/s to/from daycare? How does this work? If you can share estimated costs, that would be great. ;D

If someone asks you the same question, what would you say?

[omalley]

We do have a bi-weekly house cleaner and that has helped with the bickering of who did what and who does more, etc.

But another thing that has helped is we we try to alternate kitchen duties vs. playing with the kids. I get stressed/anxious when I feel like I do not get enough quality time with my kids on weeknights. So one or two nights a week my husband will take care of dinner and clean the kitchen so I can play with my kids.

I am not sure if this would help you or is an issue for you but it has helped me calm down a lot!

ETA: my husband does AM drop off and I do PM pick up from daycare. We have on occasion paid a neighborhood girl to come over on a Sat if I have to be out and my husband needs to do yard-work. We paid her about $8/hour. To give you reference: we pay our normal baby-sitter about $12/hour.

[Deleted]

I'm new at being a working mom, but the things that are helping me cope:
- DH doing daycare drop off (so staggered work hours that minimize daycare)
-MIL doing daycare pick-up and hanging out at our house until I get home (not every day, but 2 days a week or so as it fits her schedule)
-writing out a plan for chores so that we're each doing 15-20 minutes of housework right after DS goes to bed (and I feel like DH is working like I'm working)
-meal planning on Sunday (I would happily get groceries delivered if I could - that would help, but doesn't exist here)
- sleep. We're still working on sleep issues with DS, and it can be exhausting. And when I'm tired, life sucks.
-exercise (I cope better with life when there is some time for exercise. Biking to/from work is doing it for now)

[Deleted]

Laundry... Luckily my mom does most of it while watching DS . I am very very spoiled.

[liveintheville]

I have a nanny 3 days a week. The other 2 days kid 1 goes to pre k so it's just kid2 and me.

[omalley]

May 24, 2012 9:57:39 GMT -5 @savestheday said:

Laundry... Luckily my mom does most of it while watching DS . I am very very spoiled.

This is awesome! I am always buried by laundry!

[dcrunnergirl]

--We share drop-offs and pick-ups.
--We each contribute 50/50 (or should I say, 100/100).
--We lowered our priorities for what's considered clean. Yes, our house is still clean and very tidy, but it's not spotless.
--We both try to exercise a few times/week.
--We do early bedtimes for the kids and us. Seriously, early bedtimes for the kids has been a godsend and saved our sanity. DH and I usually go to bed before 10pm too, since our kids are up by 6am most days.
--We try to plan at least one fun activity every weekend for the whole family so our weekends don't become consumed with errands, cooking, feeding, kids napping, chores, etc. Even if this means we spend a bit more money and some things don't get done, it makes our weekends and time together fun.
--We eat lunch out on Saturdays. This has been huge for us. We're usually out and about all Saturday morning, and I used to dread going home, making lunch for two hungry kids who were approaching naptime. So, now I budget for us to eat out on Saturday afternoons, and it really makes the day.

[honeybee]

I worked as a mother's helper as a teenager. I would come on the occasional week night and often on saturday or sunday mornings. What I did depended on the Mom. Some nights I'd do laundry, tidy the kid's rooms while she spent time with the babies (She had 16 month old triplets when I started with her). Other times she'd bundle the kids into the stroller and I'd take them for a walk for a while so she could have down time or I'd take two babes while she concentrated on bathing one and then pass the next one off.

Really I was an extra set of hands. Not sure if thats what you were looking for but I'm sure teenagers now a days still do that kind of thing.

[karinothing]

Right now the only thing I really want is motivation to get back into the gym. I feel like I technically have the time in the evening, I just can't bring myself to do it.

[zeewifeandmama]

Getting cleaning lady has been the best decision so far....I really do feel like she is helping keep my sanity so that I can actually do other things that need to be done and keep my head above water. I am not a "cleaner" by nature so this is a weird thing for me to integrate into my daily life, children or not.

[DirtyMartini]

Appreciation

Guilt free alone time

Help around the house (w/o nagging)

Date nights

[SusanBAnthony]

We have a tiny house that I can clean in 30 minutes so that is not an issue for us.

What I would really love is for DH to be as responsive as I am to the kids. If one of them whines, cries, or asks a question, he waits for me to answer and deal with it. Then says "well they were talking to you". Well, butthead, the reason they were "talking to me" is that you were ignoring them and letting me deal with it!

[aspentosh]

Balance between chores and playing with DD. Sometimes I want to vacuum and dust and do laundry and other times I want to play with DD. Same with him. So we make sure we're balancing who does what so we're not always doing the same thing.

Appreciation for sure. I don't really expect a thank you for making DD's bottles for daycare, but if he does it without me asking that speaks volumes. Volumes that say "I appreciate what you do, and am here to help".

Understanding the BFing is work (which he totally gets) and I can't always just go do something without planning it.

[bunch]

I was a mothers helper in middle school. I got paid 5 an hour for a few hrs a weeks to distract a toddler while the mom did things around the house.

I agree with pp is that all i really want is appreciation for the things that I am doing and the recognition that I'm doing an okay job. This is my love language. H is working on it.

[Deleted]

prozac

[pinkdutchtulips]

A housekeeper .. I don't mind doing laundry (dd LOVES to help) and dd is at an age where she can sort of help with dinner .. oh and dd LOVES to go grocery shopping with me