Does visiting your in laws exhaust anybody else??

[sierramist03]

It seems like every time we go to my in laws for a few days/ weekend I come home exhausted!! I work evenings and don't typically get up until 930 or later sometimes. Both days while visiting MIL I was up at 730 they know DH and I aren't morning people. It's almost to the point that we don't like to go there because we come home soo tired. MIL guest bed mattress is horrible so we sleep like crap too beside less sleep. Anybody in this boat? I don't think there is any way to make this better.

[magdala9]

Yes. Yes. Yes. My in laws are exhausting people. We decided to move the pillows and comforter to the floor because the bed was so awful. They have been going to move South next every year for the last decade. At 3 am Thursday night I was contemplating arson as a solution to the awful bedroom. Fortunately, we are finally home today so tonight I can get some real sleep.

[sierramist03]

We came home yesterday and both went to bed early for us and slept in. I'm still tired but at least not exhausted. Friday morning after me being woke up my MIL happily said morning and I replied snappily yeah morning and sat down beside exhausted DH and everyone just looked at me and didn't say another word. I was pissed they couldn't at least try to be quite for a little bit.

[emoflamingo]

We are close enough we don't stay overnight, but yes. Mostly because I seem to end up keeping an eye on all the children so no one gets maimed.

[RoxMonster]

Yes it's exhausting for reasons you listed. Whenever we stay with them, it's typically for a holiday. I personally think part of a holiday is getting to sleep in. But FIL insists on waking everyone up extraordinarily early (last Christmas morning it was 6 AM). Both of their kids (H and his brother) are adults; it's not like there are little kids that are excited for presents and they want us to get up to humor them, which I'd be OK with. In general, FIL just likes to be grouchy. He will call H's phone when we are on vacation (like out of state on vacation, including our HM) at 6 or 7 in the morning. Typically H has his phone on silent but he occasionally forgets and it sucks. Like WTF dude?

And yeah their guest room is small, hot, and the bed is uncomfortable. I know I shouldn't complain because we get to stay there for free and get a private room instead of a couch, but it still sucks and I never sleep well while there.

[Deleted]

My inlaws aren't too bad. Then again, they live in my backyard so it's easy to walk home and catch a break and I get my own bed. There's just 30 of us jammed in a house, it's hot and the kids are loud and all running around. I get it more that I have a toddler tornado of my own, but it's still overwhelming.

My parents' house on the other hand is what you described. It's hot, the beds suck, the couch is hard. It's tiny so we're all on top of each other and sharing bedrooms. It's cluttery and overdecorated so I feel claustrophobic and fight Rubes to not touch stuff. There's one can't turn around in it bathroom. It's getting better since they fixed some stuff but I don't love "going home" for more than a day like other people do. We have a lot of holidays at my house or my sister's as a result. We have multiple bathrooms and comfy beds so it's easier right off the bat.

[minniebee]

My ILs are fine, other than having to sleep in a full size bed in a cold room. The bed seems tiny, we are used to a cal king. But, they are very low key, allow us to sleep in, don't make us run around all day doing crazy stuff, etc.

My parents wear me out. The sleeping arrangements are better (minus her early wake-up calls) but it's emotionally draining. My mom can be a lot to handle, she wants to constantly talk about all the problems of the people in her life. Sometimes, I wish I could just say "please, can we just watch a movie and relax!?!?" Plus, if we aren't out of bed by 8am, she sends her dogs in to our room "by accident" to wake us up. Grrrrr. It's always a weekend or holiday when we are there, we would like to sleep in! She also insists that we go to church with them when we visit, and both H and I don't like the church my parents go to. Sometimes we purposely find excuses not to be there on a Sunday morning just so we can avoid their church (we do go to church regularly, we aren't against church in general, just this particular church).

[Deleted]

My ILs live within driving distance so we never stay overnight, thank god! I am usually still exhausted after seeing them.

[auntie]

OMG yes.

My ILs are gone now, but when we used to visit and DS was younger it was hell.

MIL was living with my BIL/SIL by then. They had a beautiful huge and completely un-childproofable home- unfenced swimming pool with 6 separate doors to the outside, a lake, a nasty dog who hated the attention DS got, a second floor loft hallway with furnture that made it an easy climb, a garage full of chemicals and prescription medications in non-childproof containers left on bedside and end tables. The house was filled with tiny antique beds- and always the story about the time DH stretched out and destroyed greatgrandmother's sleigh bed. He's 6' 6".

SIL was majorly passive-aggressive; my MIL doted on DS like the second coming and bitched about the behavior of SIL's girls (MIL didn't didn;t much like little girls and was fairly vocal about it). Plus DH long distance dated SIL's sister for a time and were serious enough that she gave him an ultimatum to get married. He bailed, she married a domestic abuser and I was the next "serious" girlfriend. So yeah, fun times.

[aweilba]

I'm usually mentally exhausted. My MIL is a very nice, loving person who always seems means the best. But she has some viewpoints that I don't agree with, and somehow they always seem to come up whenever I'm there. I just bite my tongue and let her say whatever she wants, and by the time I get home, my brain could explode.

[livinitup]

Having a really comfortable bed REALLY helps. I actually scored a great deal on a beautiful pillowtop for my mother's guest room. My MIL has a great guest bed. We only use it in the summer, but we've gotten much better about setting our own schedule. It can be very exhusting. When we balance our schedule with their expectations, things go MUCH better for all of us. It may mean we "miss" something they want us to do or one of us ducks out of a big-group thing to a quiet corner to keep oneself busy (reading, cruising internet) but it DOES mean we are really engaged and plugged-in together. And not exhausted!

[sailorgray]

Going to my IL is pretty relaxing. It's my parents who stress me out. I feel bad saying that b/c they try so hard to make it nice and it is fun for a day or so. There is just a lot of different issues I won't get into. It's a shame because their issues keep us from visiting overnight much and keep my brother from visiting ever. My family is in a pretty sad state right now.

[bunnymendelbaum]

It used to be much worse before having DD.
My MIL has a big heart but she talks about the same 3 things all day long. She will tell you the same story over and over or the same rationale over and over. It is maddening. (It's not age-related, it's more insecurity and not having much going on in her life.)

She also talks about food endlessly. You will get the rundown of each future meal at each preceding meal. Like at breakfast she will talk about lunch, dinner, tomorrow's breakfast, lunch, dinner, etc.
I've literally thrown myself on to a bed and screamed into a pillow while visiting them. I'd never say anything because she is a nice, warm-hearted person.

She also LOVES a super soft bed. We peel away 4 layers of foam, covers and pads to sleep. Last summer I slept in the firm twin bed and put DD w DH in the smooshy bed! DH ended up sleeping on the floor!

[peach]

Bunny we have the same MIL.

She is the most wonderful person, but talking to her makes me want to tear out my hair. She talks about family that we don't even know, or food. Every detail of every recipe, the menu plan...."I tried this great new recipe for cookies. It has this, this, and this and this in it. And you bake them for 8 minutes." uh huh...that'snice....

We have almost nothing in common. So she just talks and talks....about food and recipes, which I hate talking about.