Anyone help a parent learn to manage money?

[kaylie]

*poof*

[isabel]

Why isn't therapy an option? Sounds like that would help a lot. And, like you said, there's some leverage there...

[kaylie]

I've been pushing therapy for years now and she just never follows through with it. I don't think she believes the issue is psychological so therapy would be a tough road anyway because she doesn't want it and wouldn't be invested in it. I should also add that she lives on the other side of the country, so enforcement is tough.

ETA - so it is an option, just not the one I'd put all my hopes on

[mskitkat]

Let me know if you figure out a good solution. I have tried so hard, but my mother refuses to be responsible with money. I had to walk away, and I just accept I'm going to have to care for her.

[steph96]

If it was as simple as creating a budget, she wouldn't have ths problem.

She is set in her ways. It will be soooo hard to change.

The only way I can see solving this would be to completely take over her finances--pay her bills, give her an allowance, take away credit cards, somehow stop her from getting payday loans, etc. I don't see that going over well.

[y4m]

I don't really have advice, but I have been there with my ILs.

We knew something was wrong when they asked us to give them our old car. We ended up doing that, but in exchange for them giving an even older car to my SIL, and for full access to their financial logins, and a promise that they would comply with a budget we put them on. We got access to everything and did the math--put it in a big powerpoint. It basically showed that there was no way they could stay in their house--which we then helped them short sell.

We were all up in their finances for about a year, and they were sticking to the plan, but then DH got busy with work and lord knows I was not going to be directly involved with that as the DIL. So we don't really know where they are right now and we are scared to ask.

It sucks--I'm really sorry you are dealing with that.

[kaylie]

Thanks everyone. Truly, I'm not optimistic since she's been this way for 20+ years but I have to try something.