How do you handle someone trying to parent your ..

[peach]

I just dont think it's her place to make decisions for my kid, when I am sitting RIGHT THERE.

[sailorgray]

I missed the OP and this is going to be my own vent, but maybe it's along the same lines. My aunt, who does NOT have her own kids, is constantly telling me how to parent. It's little things, like we will all be in a room and she gets up to leave and feels she has to remind me to watch out for the baby on the stairs, to make sure he doesn't do this or that, etc. The other day she gave DS1 a lot of change and she reminded me that DS2 could choke on pennies and I need to be careful. I once said to her after one of her "lessons" that "Wow, sometimes *H* actually leaves me alone with the kids." I know she is absolutely crazy about my guys, but it drives me up a wall. I roll me eyes and complain to my brother about it.

[TBM]

Peach- my impression was that the relative wasn't trying to usurp your role as a parent, but instead was just offering your daughter more of what she seemed to like, etc..

You know, when I had my kids, my relatives thought that I had more 'rules' and was more uptight (controlling) about certain things than their style of parenting, and they were right. I did have one child with a couple of severe allergies though, so there was a reason, and I grew up on processed food and had changed my diet and wanted my children to eat healthy diets. I learned when to just smile and intervene without insulting, and when to just let it go and let the kids have a splurge. Some occasions, like family gatherings, we relaxed the rules a little, and it didn't do any harm...the kids knew it was not the norm. No one thought that I was a bad parent, so I wasn't offended (although I was annoyed sometimes). They were just trying to be helpful in their own way

[peach]

I was feeling guilty about my complaining so I deleted the OP.

To be completely honest, I think it was more of a showing off thing. this person doesn't usuually act like this, but was around a bunch of family and I think they wanted to show off my daughter and make a fuss over her in front of everyone. Thus trying to "beat me" to the playroom to scoop her up when she cried, carrying her around, and trying to spoil her and break our rules.

[kaylie]

That would annoy me, but I'm prickly by nature. I also would not have been impressed by someone who gave a kid more meat before they ate any of their veggies.

I read the OP, but I don't have kids (yet) and I don't know what I would have done but I think I would have had trouble staying quiet.

[Deleted]

I missed the story, but for me it depends on who it is.
Someone we don't see too often and clearly has no idea about kids? Meh. Whatever. They'll all live until I get home.
Someone I'm close too and LO sees often, I try to get on the same page as me.
As for rules, it's important for me for Rubes to know that everyone is different and comes with their own set of rules, so it's not always going to be the same. A treat is a treat and stricter rules are okay sometimes. As the parent it's my job to pick the middle ground.

I obviously missed the OP but that's my "in general" answer.