Long time board participant here, but I don't post a whole lot. I have a situation that I'd love you all to weigh in on....
Background: My exH and I separated in early 2020 and our divorce was official a year later. We have a 9 year old DD and 6 year old DS together. He remarried pretty quickly and I am in a committed relationship now as well, though my bf lives in another state. ExH and I were very amicable throughout the entire process but he has gotten increasingly rigid and unbending towards me since his marriage.
Here's the dilemma. (Disclaimer, I have an appointment to talk to my lawyer about this in July, but since it's irritating me on a daily basis I thought I'd crowd source some opinions) Though we only communicate to discuss the kids and our parenting schedule, ExH now insists I copy his wife on every single communication, whether it be by email or text. He categorically refuses to respond to me if I don't copy her. He ignores my messages and if I ask him to respond, he redirects me to the group thread. We are talking about things as wide-ranging in importance from whether or not to treat DS' ADHD with medication, to confirming I picked up the kids from the bus stop.
I (and our mutual friends) have definitely noticed an increase in controlling behavior from him, that wasn't present in our marriage. He used to be pretty easy-going so this is new for me to navigate and I can only assume it's, in part, initiated by his wife. On the rare occasions I talk to them in person, they are very stern and unsmiling and unfriendly. Recently, when I arrived 3.5 minutes after the time I stated I'd pick up the kids, they informed me as a united front that lateness would no longer be tolerated. If we set up an in person meeting to discuss parenting concerns, she's required to be present and he gives her equal floor to weigh in on all aspects of the discussion and wont' make a decision without her consensus.
My therapist was outraged on my behalf when I told her he won't discuss the kids with me if the wife isn't involved, and said I should talk to my lawyer because it's likely a violation of our parenting agreement. I did set up an appointment, but I guess I'm wondering if I'm being a bit unreasonable. Wife is helping him raise my kids and will presumably be in their lives long term, so I'm not unwilling to involve her in some communications where it makes sense. I have tried all along to be reasonable and go the extra mile to keep the peace because he's a great dad and I firmly believe there's no reason to be unpleasant toward one another just because we weren't a fit for one another. We were together 16 years, he's a really good guy, and I wish the best for him. But I also don't want to be subjected to silly games and set up a precedent that I'm willing to comply with whatever new rules they come up with. I don't know...what says ML?
Disregard if this doesn't fit what you're looking for, but you might consider an Echo Dot, especially if you're already using Amazon Echo devices in your home. We have Echos and Echo Dots in most of the rooms in our two story home and frequently use them as an intercom to talk to one another briefly. For example, my 6 y.o. will call me from the bathroom while I'm making dinner downstairs to let me know he's ready to have help washing his hair, etc. It could work for middle of the night wakeups too. They just have to say, "Alexa, drop in on "Mom's Bedroom" (or whatever your Echo device is named) and then they'd be connected to your device and could talk to you.
I think it depends a little on the material the backpack is made with. I've been happy with Lands End's backpack quality in the past, but this year my Kindergartner picked one with shiny "mermaid foil" and it looked absolutely trashed with in a few months. The fabric seemed a bit flimsy to begin with and all the shiny material has rubbed off. On the flip side, my 3rd grader chose the L.L.Bean Original Book Pack, 24L and it's held up perfectly. I can see her using it for a few more years easily.
Middle class to upper middle class, which I do not take for granted as a divorced single mom relying solely on my own income. My ex-H was far and away the breadwinner for the family, but I got a big career opportunity shortly after we divorced in 2021 and I'm so grateful for the financial stability.
Have done. Just to make you feel less alone on this topic.
When I got my IUD inserted, the doc gave me a vaginal ultrasound to make sure it was ok.
I went home later and realized I had a tampon in the whole time. Neither I nor my doctor noticed it up there. I thought it was hilarious, my ex H was horrified lol.
Wait, how could your doctor insert the IUD if you had a tampon in? I have questions...
I am extremely sensitive too. Interesting that you bring this up because I was actually just thinking about this same topic the other day, and wondering how I'd proceed for my daughter when she's ready to get her ears pierced someday. I recently placed an order from Rowan for myself...I think I stumbled upon them on a social media ad. All their earrings are hypoallergenic and I've been super impressed with the quality. They seem to be geared toward the younger demographic and have lots of fun studs that might be along the lines of what your child is looking for! heyrowan.com/collections/studs
I bought the Yoto Mini for my son for his 6th bday and he loves it. His 9 year old sister does too. I searched and searched for a portable screen-free, bluetooth enabled music player and this fits the bill well. Both kids huge fans of the free daily podcast, and we all enjoy the radio feature - it's got great family friendly music that's not just "little kid" music but a range of genres all pretty upbeat. There's a lot of free content on the app that you can transfer onto cards for the player. The downside is that the cards are kind of expensive and you have to own the music/audiobooks in order to put them on a make-your-own card, which is an annoyance for me because I only stream audio these days. But I have broken down and bought a few of his favorite albums on iTunes and it's fun to see how much joy he gets out of the autonomy of being able to pick what playlist *he* wants to listen to. One other awesome way we've been using the player is that my mom has been recording herself reading chapter books and then sending me the audio files and I transfer them onto cards for the kids to listen to. That's been a huge hit.
I set up an account and transferred it pretty quickly to Capitol 360. UFB seemed great on paper but they held my transferred funds for weeks before depositing them in my account and their user interface felt kind of shoddy.
I would try it. As someone who recently bought a couple pairs of period undies for the first time after having the flu and peeing her pants from coughing constantly...it's a pretty good solution for such issues in my limited experience!
I work in corporate for a household name coffee company and my coworker has a Breville Bambino. She was just showing it off to our team on a call the other day and we were exclaiming at how cute it is. She says it works phenomenally and she finds it does a great job at foaming milk. I’ve owned a bigger Breville espresso machine in the past and as a former barista, I felt it was really substantial quality machine that pulled a good shot. I’m pretty interested in getting the Bambino, myself, since I would want something with a smaller countertop footprint.
I also have sensitive ears and bought some from Rowan. My ears have been really happy so far. They don't have any dangly/pendant earrings but the ones they have are great!
I would absolutely have him seen by his pediatrician. My 7-year old daughter has always been slim but her doctor noted with concern at her most recent well-child visit that she hadn't LOST weight but had dropped a few pegs on the weight percentile growth chart and that a slowdown in growth at this age is not ideal.
She is a good eater and VERY active, but she is on Adderall for ADHD and therefore her appetite is suppressed during the middle of the day. She doesn't eat much snack or lunch while at school.
The doctor had us meet with a nutritionist to discuss ways to get as many calories as possible into her during the times she is hungry (breakfast, afterschool, dinner, bedtime snacks). And then we had a weigh-in 6 weeks later to check progress.
She's doing well now, but high calorie, healthy nutrition something I have to be really intentional about for her. Given that your child is eating a ton outside school hours, I'd definitely have him checked by his doctor.
Chase Sapphire Reserved is commonly recommended on travel groups I'm a part of. I signed up for it about a year ago and I LOVE it. I use it for everything I can, and I've accrued so many points that I've been able to fly to see my long-distance boyfriend for free multiple times this year.
Chase Sapphire Reserved is commonly recommended on travel groups I'm a part of. I signed up for it about a year ago and I LOVE it. I use it for everything I can, and I've accrued so many points that I've been able to fly to see my long-distance boyfriend for free multiple times this year.
Previously, I'd been a diehard Roomba snob. I had a Roomba 880 that I purchased in 2017 and it was great, but by late 2020 it was falling apart and not functioning in some odd ways, and then I took it apart in an attempt to fix it...and it never came back to life.
In September 2021, I bought another Roomba to replace the last one. I wish I could remember what model it was but it was probably around $400-500 at Bed Bath and Beyond. It had mapping and I could control it on my app and it had great reviews....and I HATED it. It consistently missed huge areas of my pretty small, mostly laminate house. It was near impossible to dock it correctly so that it would charge. It would often try to dock itself after cleaning and then I'd try to start it the next day and its battery would be dead because it wasn't sitting correctly on the charging pins. Even manually assisting it to dock was a near impossible task. It was also quite loud, but I assumed that was just the norm for robot vacuums. Oh yes, and it was always pinging my phone to declare complicated error messages mid-cycle. Also the bin was a dumb design and always clogging up with dog hair mid-cycle and was difficult to empty. Even though you could use the app to set a "zone" for it to clean, it would always stray off course and end up in another area of the house that I didn't want it in.
Then a couple months ago, we had a dreadful incident of Roomba encountering sick dog while I was out for a few hours...and Roomba had to head for the landfill.
Not wanting to spend a lot of money again so soon, I read a bunch of reviews and took a chance on the Eufy 11s that I linked above. That vacuum is a gem! It's quiet, it's really good at both medium pile carpet and laminate, it gets EVERYTHING and it docks and charges flawlessly. The bin is large and easy to empty. It gets stuck less because it's so low profile it can fit under all my furniture. It's less "techy", there's no app or mapping but I really don't care....it's just that good. The only thing I don't love is that it's not great at shaggy or deeper pile carpet but that's a small price to pay. I don't know if it has 'lighthouses' that you can get to keep it in one area....it didn't come with them and I haven't checked. In short....highly recommend, especially for the price.
I have the Shark and I love love love love it. My house is fully LVP and I have pets and small children, and that thing makes my floors shine with minimal effort and even makes the whole place smell like it was freshly cleaned despite using no chemicals. It's easy to use. The Bissel's top heavy style looks like it would be harder to push around.
I've been getting Brazilians consistently for a year now and am able to go 5-6 weeks between waxes. The hair that does grow in is MUCH more sparse. It's way better than shaving, but the price tag is high. I started getting ingrowns recently, even though I exfoliate frequently and bought the salons' expensive Fur exfoliating scrub. Then I purchased the Tend Skin rollerball and that stuff is amazing!! I noticed results within 24 hours.
We use the the Dr Puri KF94 masks. They come in two sizes for kids, and one adjustable size for adults. O (almost 5) is size small, and V (8.5) is a medium.
O's daycare provides and uses Armbrust procedure masks. They're pretty good, and they make kid sizes.
I second the Dr Puri recommendation. My small 7.5 year old wears the size small to school. She prefers them over cloth masks at this point, and I can see why - they are really soft.
I got an LG top loader with no agitator with a home we bought in 2015. That machine rocked -it never failed me on filthy farm clothes or cloth diapers. I loved it so much we bought another LG set from Costco after we moved again a couple years ago. They are phenomenal and I’m SUPER picky about clean and good-smelling clothes.
I just did one two weeks ago! I'm recently divorced, and wanted to take some bangin' photos for my own self because I'm happier and more confident than I can ever remember being! My long-distance boyfriend's bday is also coming up so it makes a good gift for him as well. I'm arguably in the worst shape I have ever been in (thanks pandemic, single-parenting, demanding job...) and was strongly considering cancelling the session due to struggling with body image. I wanted to wait til I was "hot" again
But I'm SOOOO glad I went through with it. It was so effing fun and confidence boosting. When my photographer showed me images from the back of the camera during the middle of the session, I couldn't believe how stunning I looked! It was tough to narrow down my image choices at the end and so many of the photos were so incredible they nearly took my breath away when she showed them to me.
I originally found a boudoir photographer whose style I really liked on Instagram and called them for a consult. They were really pricy but I kept looking for one in my range and found a photographer about 3 hours from me that does phenomenal work. I paid about $1750 for the session that lasted from about 11:30 am-5:30 pm including professional hair and makeup, 1.5 hour shoot in her studio, a massage(!!), unlimited snacks and beverages and the image reveal. The price includes a book of 25 images and all the digitals of the 25 images that I chose.
I'd suggest searching boudoir hashtags on IG and try to decide what style of photography you're drawn to. Boudoir can really vary. I like the more sensual images with natural lighting, relatively untouched out of the camera.
A kindle for kids. DD (7) is a voracious reader and loves to read in bed with a flashlight for a little while before falling asleep. She keeps stealing my Kindle too, so I just settled on the new Kindle Paperwhite for Kids as her big Christmas present from me. I am hoping the softer light will be more sleep inducing than a bright flashlight, too, as she often has trouble falling asleep.
I can't figure it out, but I am in the same boat. I live in a college town and even so, I had a near impossible time finding anyone to watch my kids on Fridays throughout the summer. I had a paid post on Care.com for months with hardly any takers. This hasn't been my experience in the past at all.
From observing my friends' teens, I've concluded that they are either too occupied with sports and other activities to have any free time to work, or they just aren't interested in working.
I can commiserate. This sounds so much like my 7 year old daughter. She has always been a challenging kid. We sought help when her hyperactivity and oppositional behavior reached a point where she was hurting others - throwing things at me, threatening her sitter with scissors, being overly aggressive with her toddler brother, and putting her own self in risk of harm through impulsive behavior. She was diagnosed with ADHD (no surprise, she's highly active) and ODD. With the right medication, which took a long time to nail down, her defiant and dangerous behaviors became SO much better. She's still sensitive about things not going the way she wants and isn't probably ever going to be an "easy" kid (which is fine! There's nothing wrong with being a strong willed, energetic person as long as you're kind!) but my relationship with her has become soooooo much better as she's just so much more pleasant to be around and we aren't knocking heads constantly.
I highly recommend seeking out a psychologist/psychiatrist skilled in these sorts of evaluations, not just a social worker or even a pediatrician. The latter individuals are not necessarily trained to make these more complex psychological diagnoses. Good luck - keep advocating for her and keep after it. Trust your mom-gut that the current evaluations are missing something, because you know your child best.
We got my kids each foam toppers. Did the trick for WAY less than a new mattress.
I'd do that, if it were me! I just bought this 2" topper for my camper because the bed is so hard, and I have rarely had such a luxurious night of sleep . My kids love how "squishy" the foam is, it seems to endlessly fascinate them.
Another vote for the Micro. My daughter rec'd a razor for her 6th bday last year because I thought she was ready to move up. But she didn't like it and kept wanting to ride her Micro Mini which she'd basically outgrown. I ended up selling the Razor and buying her a used Micro-Maxi and she LOVES it.
TBH, both my grown-adult brother and I think the Maxi is pretty fun to zip around on. So, I don't think DD will be outgrowing it anytime soon
ETA: they're stupid expensive, so I recommend keeping an eye out on Marketplace. I got one in great condition for $40.
Don't buy the house. Take it from me, it will be SO much harder on you all if you do split and have to sell it. My ex-H and I purchased our dream home in 2019 and I told the kids it would be our forever home. We separated 6 months later. There was no way I could afford it on my own, and we had to sell it when we divorced. It absolutely gutted me, and my kids were heartbroken. The market had improved slightly but we still lost money on realtor fees, closing costs and the furnace we had to replace in the 12 months we owned it.
I'm so sorry you're going through this. I hope you come to peace with whatever you decide to do.