My mom worked until she had my sister, and then decided to SAH for a few years until my sister was in school, and then started working PT. I always admired her for working while I was growing up, and I loved going to daycare and seeing all my friends.
We don't have kids yet, but right now I want to work. I have worked really hard to get to where I am in my career, and based on our financial goals, it will not be an option for me not to work.
Post by UnderProtest on Dec 5, 2012 22:26:21 GMT -5
Yes, my mom stayed at home from the time my older brother was born until I was in 5th grade. And then it was working for the schools so she was always around after school and on breaks. It definitely shaped my opinion of working, but also my personal circumstances solidified it. I had twins after a struggle with infertility and my husband works long hours and travels. I am responsible for the majority of anything kid related and it would have been very difficult to juggle everything. We did plan for me to stay at home so we made sure our finances were in shape before we started to try for kids.
My mom worked full time as a nurse, choosing the night shift so that there was always one parent at home. She worked 11pm-7am and my dad worked for the county from 8:30am-5pm.
I think it influenced me in that my mom drilled it into me that a woman should always be self sufficient, even when married. She was definitely the breadwinner.
Coincidentally, I work for the county like my dad did, but am the breadwinner like my mom was.
SAH, with occasional stints as a substitute teacher
I'm not sure if it influenced me or not. I do still get a little irritated when she badmouths working moms. I realize SAH isn't for everyone, and she doesn't
Post by raylongivens on Dec 5, 2012 22:32:58 GMT -5
My mom SAH for 12 years, until my you gets sister was in school. She worked 15-20 hours a week until I was in high school. At that point, she got a 30 hr a week job at a really good private school. She made enough to cover tuition for me and my sisters, with the employee discount. She started working full time when my youngest sister graduated HS.
My mom is incredibly smart, but her parents decided college was for boys, and wouldn't help her. So she has worked her way up in a few different organizations, but is very dependent on my dad financially. She admits this. She often wonders what would have happened if she kept working after we were born. I wonder sometimes if she regrets that she left an awesome job at an excellent company to stay at home. She comments quite a bit that she hates that she really couldn't support herself if she had to.
She definitely influenced me to keep working. I will eventually take a step back from my current career, but not without a plan. Too much can happen, and I worry about everything.
My mother worked, but she is a teacher so she had the same breaks off as we did. I literally do not know what most families do when the kids have a random day off/summers off.
Working mothers are the norm in my family. Both of my grandmothers worked (before it was cool, lol), all of my aunts worked, all of my female cousins work. I can't think of a single woman in my family who stayed home more than a few weeks.
But, they all worked because they HAD to. And I already know that I will have to, too. It's not even worth thinking about how staying home would work. It won't. In my next life I'll have to make sure I'm pretty enough to snag a rich SO or smart enough to get a well paying job. This one ain't it.
My parents owned a restaurant and my mom worked there PT. She made her own schedule and was there most days after school, but we had a babysitter at night maybe twice a week, including one weekend night.
I don't know if I would feel differently if my mom had SAH full time, but I always want to work. I love working, I love the challenge and satisfaction a career brings to me. But I can make my own schedule to a certain extent (I'm a professor) so that helps. I wouldn't want to work 50 hours a weej outside the home. Even when I do work 50+ hours, I do half of i from home, which is awesome with young kids. So maybe I am modelling a bit after my mom.
Post by hilwithonelary on Dec 5, 2012 22:38:30 GMT -5
My mom stayed at home. She quit her job when I was 6 months old and has never gone back to work. It was wonderful, and I think it was the best decision for her.
After DS, I worked for 15 months, took 3 months off, then worked part time for 5 months until I had DD. I loved working part time. It felt like the best of both worlds. I had intended to go back to work, but DH was transferred (military), so I've been staying at home for 8 months now. I hope to go back to work when DD turns 1. I would love to work part time again, but if I can only find full time work, I will take it.
Having the experience of growing up with a SAHM has made me feel a little guilty that I'm not choosing to do the same. However, it hasn't made me change me mind. While I'm enjoying spending time with my kids, I know that I'm not cut out for this long term.
My mom was SAHM until I was about 9, then worked PT for several years and went FT probably around when I started high school. Despite this, I grew up with the expectation that in my generation women could and should work. And then I got older and married and thought about having kids....and now I'm really mourning the idea that my kids will probably not have the SAHM experience. It's just not a financial reality for us to afford living on one income sadly.
Post by hbomdiggity on Dec 5, 2012 22:53:10 GMT -5
my mother SAHM. as I got older (I'm the youngest) she took some odd jobs, like substitute teaching, retail, etc, but just to give her something to do.
I'm conflicted. I do wish I could spend time with my kids like my mom did and make sure the household is taken care of, but I also don't think I'm cut out be a career mom. Our current standard of living requires that I keep my well paying job so there is no plans for me to SAH.
Working mothers are the norm in my family. Both of my grandmothers worked (before it was cool, lol), all of my aunts worked, all of my female cousins work. I can't think of a single woman in my family who stayed home more than a few weeks.
This is interesting. Honestly, I can't think of any women in my extended family who were really career women - though most everyone (my mom included) went back to work when the kids were older. My dad had 9 siblings and I do think some of the sisters/wives worked at some point but I think most (all?) stayed home while the kids were little.
It's kind of dawning on me that this may be a major reason why I have no idea WTF I'm doing when it comes to my career path and why I can't fathom the idea of adding children to our busy lives. Hmm.
My mom was a sahm until I was 6 or so (after my last sister was born) then went back to work. She raised us to be independent women and to have careers.
Working mothers are the norm in my family. Both of my grandmothers worked (before it was cool, lol), all of my aunts worked, all of my female cousins work. I can't think of a single woman in my family who stayed home more than a few weeks.
This is interesting. Honestly, I can't think of any women in my extended family who were really career women - though most everyone (my mom included) went back to work when the kids were older. My dad had 9 siblings and I do think some of the sisters/wives worked at some point but I think most (all?) stayed home while the kids were little.
It's kind of dawning on me that this may be a major reason why I have no idea WTF I'm doing when it comes to my career path and why I can't fathom the idea of adding children to our busy lives. Hmm.
With the exception of my mother, the teacher, I'm not sure career is the right word. They've always had pink collar or service type jobs, so there's not a lot of career tracking to be worried about. Also things like multiple divorces or husband in prison or just being a single mom mean you need to be able to take care of yourself.
I guess what I'm saying is that my family is lower middle class and have jobs and experiences that reflect that. Most people on this board will never have to worry about stuff like that.
My mom always had a job as a phlebotomist, but her schedule varied, and at various points, she worked other jobs as well. When I was really little, she worked full time. At some point, my dad got a raise, so she went to 1-3 nights a week, and stayed on that schedule for probably 5 years. Then she kept doing that, but worked as a bank teller 2-3 a week to get out of the house during the day. Then when my youngest sister started kindergarten, she quit the bank and went back to phlebotomy full time, 5 days a week on a normal-ish schedule. She worked her way up, and now works full time in hospital administration.
My dad lost his job almost 15 years ago, and has never been able to find a new career. My parents were extremely fortunate that they had my mother's career to fall back on. That reason alone is enough for me to want to keep working. If my mom hadn't kept a foot in the door when we were small, she probably wouldn't have been able to advance to the point where my father's job loss and failure to rebound would have been disastrous for them. Lots of people think that divorce will never happen to them, and life/disability insurance can help mitigate some parts of job loss. But nobody would have ever predicted the demise of the company my father worked for, and what it's like being in your 50s and trying to find a new job.
This is interesting. Honestly, I can't think of any women in my extended family who were really career women - though most everyone (my mom included) went back to work when the kids were older. My dad had 9 siblings and I do think some of the sisters/wives worked at some point but I think most (all?) stayed home while the kids were little.
It's kind of dawning on me that this may be a major reason why I have no idea WTF I'm doing when it comes to my career path and why I can't fathom the idea of adding children to our busy lives. Hmm.
With the exception of my mother, the teacher, I'm not sure career is the right word. They've always had pink collar or service type jobs, so there's not a lot of career tracking to be worried about. Also things like multiple divorces or husband in prison or just being a single mom mean you need to be able to take care of yourself.
I guess what I'm saying is that my family is lower middle class and have jobs and experiences that reflect that. Most people on this board will never have to worry about stuff like that.
I grew up in a blue collar family My mom is now a nurse and my grandmother was too (school nurse) but most everyone else worked a job that was physically difficult and didn't require a college degree. My mom got her associates degree a couple of years before I graduated with my BS, but otherwise I'd be "first generation" and I'm still the only one in my extended family with an MS. My extended family doesn't have a ton of divorce, thankfully, so I guess the other stuff doesn't necessarily apply, but they definitely weren't a bunch of women who shopped and decorated all day. More like clipping coupons and finding ways to stretch a pound of meat into multiple meals.
My mom worked and was/is very judgemental of SAHMs. It probably influenced my opinions a bit, but SAH isn't an option for me anyway. Now that I have DD, I can totally understand why some women SAH and that everyone has to make the decision that is right for them.
My mom was in school or work full time from the moment I was born. I had relatives watching me, a nanny, and more daycares than I can count. I became a latch-key kid at age 7.
No real strong desire to have kids, but if I ever do its on the condition that I go back to work. I would rather not have kids then be SAHM. I'm just not cut out for it.
Both. My mom left her teaching job after my older brother was born and stayed home with us until I was in kindergarten. Then she went to social work school and staterted working when I was 7 or 8. She plans to retire in Jan 2014.
My mom worked part-time when we were very little and then full-time. I plan on working full-time after having kids, but it has nothing to do w/ my mom working.
Post by statlerwaldorf on Dec 6, 2012 0:07:09 GMT -5
My mom worked FT for the first 5 years until my brother was born. Then she stayed at home during the day, but worked part-time evenings and weekends.
I fell into staying at home after I was laid off. DH's plant closed and he ended up taking a job working all different shifts. I saw how hard it was on my parent's marriage to work opposite shifts, so that is holding me back. But it's not completely that. There really aren't jobs out here for me and I would never want to commute over an hour everyday.
My mom worked until she got sick when I was 8. She was home until I was 13 but she was unable to do much so she wasn't really a SAHM, she was just home. After that she went back to work until I left for college and now she has quit again because of her health. She never had a career per se, just jobs. She was a card dealer (poker, low ball, etc.), waitress, ran a yogurt/coffee shop, worked at a small zoo, server for a catering company, and so on. My decision to stay home was based more on my experiences in other peoples' homes. I loved going to a few of my friends houses that had SAHMs and have always wanted that for my family. I think my mom would have been a terribly SAHM. She doesn't cook, doesn't clean often, is terrible at laundry, etc. I love her to death, but domestic she is not. I plan to stay home until my kids are all in school and then I want to to go back to school to get my single-subject teaching credential. I don't know if I will actually work after I get it but I would like to finish what I started when I got my degree and I want to be able to work if anything ever happens to DH. I think it is important that even if you choose to stay home you make sure you can be self-sufficient if it is necessary.
Post by FrozenSunshine on Dec 6, 2012 0:35:21 GMT -5
Both my parents worked full time and then some. My mom gave up her retail job to run an in home daycare after I was born because she had three of us back to back. When I turned 4 she went back into the workforce outside of the home. My dad always worked two jobs when I was growing up (Full time military and ran a construction company on the side.)
One reason we're holding off on kids (if/when) is it would almost be required I SAH, and I'm not sure I can do that 100%.
My mom worked as a teacher when I was little but stayed at home after my brother was home. I remember her going through a period of depression when we were growing up and she wanted to do something meaningful. She had a graduate degree and felt like she was wasting her degree. I would search the papers for jobs that she might like but she felt like she had zero skills.
This really shaped my career. I became an SLP because I knew it was flexible and I would always have the title as long as I kept the licenses current. ;D
My mom worked full-time. My grandmother watched me a lot as a small kid and then I basically let myself in from school and hung out alone until my parents came home starting in 2nd or 3rd grade.
My decision to start exclusively freelancing about a year after DD was born was a combination of my job at the time requiring a lot of travel and evening work and DH's job having long and unpredictable hours. We couldn't both keep working at the same level and maintain our sanity (although I know plenty of people can). I was ready to move on anyway due to other reasons relating to my workplace, so I was the one who decided to make the change.
I don't think my parents' work lives influenced my choices in this specific respect. The only thing might be that my father switched careers while I was a kid, so maybe that encouraged me to not feel like I would be stuck on the same career path forever. I've never had a job and felt like there was nothing else out there I was qualified to do besides that job. I guess that attitude made it easy for me to radically shift gears professionally.
My mom worked and while I don't have kids, what this did instill in me was the importance of a woman not relying solely on a man. My dad brought home more than my mom, for a few years in the 80s he was working two jobs, but my mom always had her own paycheck. I always loved it at family events or whatever when other female relatives would say thigs like, "Oh I hope my husband lets me buy / do X.". My mom would always make a point of pointing out to me (after) that is an instance of a woman who can't stand on her own two feet and that she is glad she has her own money, in addition to what she contributes to the household.
This has drilled in my head that yes, partnership is great but if you dont have your own resources you can be screwed. Given this, even though I dont have kids, I cant imagine not working. Might help that I love my job, too...
My mom works and always has. Beyond that, she started in her field when there were very few women and fought her way to the top. Seeing her do that always inspired me. My job is less ambition driven, but I don't think I could have ever been a long term SAHM (I was for DD's first 1.5 years due to circumstance).