My son's sub told his class about the shooting

[takeonyou]

So my son (6 years old) had his regular substitute today (she is in his class 1-4 days a month). She told the class about Sandy Hook. Told them 20 kids in first grade were killed, the teachers were killed, the principal, and then the "bad man" killed himself. As far as my son said, she just announced it. No one asked. He said some really detailed stuff like: the "bad man who shot all the kids and then killed himself with a gun," "they were in first grade like me and my friends," and "now they are all dead." He was citing how many children and teachers died.

I did NOT want him to know about it. He had no tv all weekend, we listened to Pandora to avoid the radio, etc. We decided to actively hide it from him because I feel like at 6, this could be a lot for him to handle. Wwyd? Or rather how would you feel about this?

I emailed the school counselor asking her what the plan for teachers was at school today and asked if she could get to the bottom of what was said in his class. I was prepared to answer questions if he overheard something on the bus or in the halls, but I didn't expect him to just be told about it in class.

[Deleted]

That would piss me off. DD1s teacher (it's 1st & 2nd grades combined) requested we tell our kids so DH did last night. Then she emailed tonight saying it never even came up. It's one thing if its brought up by other kids but to just announce it is not appropriate to me.

[theintended]

I would be so angry I'd be scheduling a meeting at the school ASAP.

[cjeanette]

I would be calling the principal. That is not ok. I am so angry for you.

Sent from my SPH-L710 using proboards

[takeonyou]

She is a permanent sub. She is there almost everyday standing in for whoever is out. My son's teacher is out 1-4 days a month, so she is there those days. He sees her very frequently.

[bronxgirl]

I would be very upset. That is not appropriate.

[theintended]

I think this shows a serious lack of judgement and concern for the kids in her care. I'd want administrators to know about it, and I'd want her to be fired. Part of the horror of the tragedy was a loss of innocence for the survivors. Why shatter the innocence of more 6-year-olds nationwide? Despicable.

[pierogigirl]

That is not OK. We had a faculty meeting this morning to discuss how to handle questions the kids had. We were not to bring it up or hold a whole class discussions, but if kids talked about it we were not to shut it down or make them feel like they had done something wrong. We were also not to talk to adults about it in common areas, or in a room with kids nearby.

I would be beyond livid. I'm pretty sure that would be enough to get her fired. She way overstepped. There was no need for the littlest kids to hear about the shooting. I would absolutely email or call the principal. I'm so sorry that happened to your son today.

[GailGoldie]

NOT ok - at all.

every teacher I know was following orders from above about how to address it (if at all)... in our schools they said they would not bring it up but if kids talked about it- they would give a quick response and tell them to talk to their parents - unless the child was very upset, then would go talk to the counselor.

I grilled my son and he mentioned nothing about it - so thankfully no kids told him... he would have told me - i asked him a million questions about his day that would have gotten it out b/c he's a talker... I'm glad he doesn't know. He is in K, about to turn 6yo... and just does NOT need to hear about it.

[Deleted]

Wow. That is so far over the line. I would be calling the principal.

[jackie011]

This makes me so thankful that we got through the day without any of my kids bringing this up. There were so many times I just looked over the room and smiled at how normal of a day we were having- kids playing, reading, doing art projects... the way it should be!

[pugz]

wow. call the principal tomorrow, she was so out of line

[ohgillian]

Not okay. How is your son?0

[speckledfrog]

My ass would be in the office tomorrow morning. Livid wouldn't begin to describe my feelings.

[Willis Jackson]

She should be fired.

I haven't had NPR on in days. I would be so pissed.

[readyin07]

Yeah. I would be angry and it takes a lot to get me really angry. It's one thing if a child brought it up...totally another if she just went off about it. Not ok.

[h]

I would be furious and scheduling a meeting with the principal ASAP. If I was friends with any other parents in the class I would call them to make sure they are aware of the situation and encourage them to say something to the principal as well.

[Deleted]

I would be livid.

[anna7602]

Dec 17, 2012 21:50:35 GMT -5 theintended said:

I think this shows a serious lack of judgement and concern for the kids in her care. I'd want administrators to know about it, and I'd want her to be fired. Part of the horror of the tragedy was a loss of innocence for the survivors. Why shatter the innocence of more 6-year-olds nationwide? Despicable.

I agree with this.

[Deleted]

I would also be livid. I would call the principal and want her fired. What a serious, SERIOUS lack of judgement. She probably just made the whole class afraid of "bad men" and school for that matter for years and years. First graders did not need to know. If someone's child had asked her, she should have said "talk to your parents." She absolutely should NOT have told the whole class. Completely unacceptable.

[Deleted]

I think the sub was out of line but I also think at 6 yo I would have told my child something before returning to school because I would have wanted them to hear it from me and not someone else so I could direct the tone of the story and explain it as best as I could. Shame on the sub, I would definitely be pissed off. BUt now you can continue to be pissed or take what it is and do your best to explain more to your son, in your own way.

[momof2boys]

I would be really mad and would contact the school to alert them to what she did as well as ask if they had a plan in place. We had received an email on Sunday telling us that they would not be bringing up the incident. If a child asked they would be directed to talk to a counselor or adult. They specifically asked that if your child knew about the event to please ask them not to mention it to other children.
We got an email from each teacher yesterday afternoon telling us that no mention was made of the event, I'm so glad. Honestly the thought of trying to explain this tragedy to my 5 and 7 year old is more then I can handle. I am having a really hard time handling this, the thought of it brings me to tears several times a day and it was all I could do to send my kids to school yesterday

[ssmjlm]

I would be contacting the school ASAP and filing a complaint. And I have no doubt that you're not the only parent horrified that she did this.

[Deleted]

You are hearing this scond hand. Talk to the sub first and get her story. Then go to admin.

[drloretta]

Dec 18, 2012 3:12:08 GMT -5 @switzerland said:

I think the sub was out of line but I also think at 6 yo I would have told my child something before returning to school because I would have wanted them to hear it from me and not someone else so I could direct the tone of the story and explain it as best as I could. Shame on the sub, I would definitely be pissed off. BUt now you can continue to be pissed or take what it is and do your best to explain more to your son, in your own way.

This.

Plus I agree with irishbride, you're hearing secondhand that this is how it went down. Someone may actually have asked about it. Or your son may have heard a combination of what the sub said and what other people added in.

If it were me, I'd talk (in person) to the principal and find out what *really* happened and why.

[takeonyou]

He is 6. I sent an email to the counselor asking what the plan for yesterday was. I relayed what my son had said about the shooting and who he said told him. I asked her to fond pit what exactly was said and to please update me. We will see what happens.

He was pretty upset by it. Asking why the bad man did that, would it happen at another school, etc. Asking all sorts of death questions. So I think reaching out to the counselor at school would help because she can speak to him of need be.

[littlebopeep]

I would be at the school right now demanding to talk to the sub in person. Not ok with me at all.

[brit1017]

I would be furious. We have purposely kept news off and have not discussed in front of the kids. I would prefer that they not know at all, but if they heard a comment at school, I would want the teacher to answer as vaguely as possible and tell them to talk to us. It sounds like she went into much more detail than I would ever want my kids to know. I would absolutely talk to the principal.

[Deleted]

As a teacher, it is VERY frustrating when parents go to admin before talking to us. 9 times out of ten, its a miscommunication between parent and child that we can easily clarify. Why on earth assume the worst and not give an adult the benefit if the doubt to explain? I just don't get it.
If you aren't happy with her response, then go to admin.

[Deleted]

Livid doesn't even describe how I would be.