What advice would you give new moms?

[pugz]

watch the happiest baby on the block dvd, much faster than reading the book and employing the 5 S's can save your sanity!

introduce a bottle sooner rather than later, even if you are BFing

talk to your doctor if you have signs of PPD

[Deleted]

Dec 18, 2012 22:06:07 GMT -5 pugz said:

watch the happiest baby on the block dvd, much faster than reading the book and employing the 5 S's can save your sanity!

introduce a bottle sooner rather than later, even if you are BFing

talk to your doctor if you have signs of PPD

I think these would be my exact three actually. High five, pugz.

[pugz]

holla!

[Brie]

Dec 18, 2012 22:06:07 GMT -5 pugz said:

watch the happiest baby on the block dvd, much faster than reading the book and employing the 5 S's can save your sanity!

introduce a bottle sooner rather than later, even if you are BFing

talk to your doctor if you have signs of PPD

AND TAKE THE COLACE.

[pugz]

I will also add that I think finding a good moms group is important, even if it's just an online one. I am lucky to have multiple online groups (this one is the best!) and a "real person" one I take the baby to each week.

[Brie]

My two go hand in hand.

1. Take time for yourself, baby-free. Getting out of the house just for an hour 3 nights a week to work out makes me feel so much better and more refreshed and sane.

2. S/O of number 1, let your H be a parent too. He may not do things the way you would but the kid will be fine. It is so, so important that he has confidence caring for the baby too. Don't hover.

[ciao]

I'm new here, but I'll chime in!
Definitely bone up on baby soothing techniques, especially happiest baby DVD.
If planning to BF, meet with the lactation consultant in the hospital, and find out who to talk to if you have questions or issues when you get home.
And finally, do NOT get the flax and fiber boost at jamba juice on your way home from the hospital. No one is happy after that!

[vanillacourage]

Get them dressed by reaching your hand in through the sleeve/pant leg and pulling their arm/leg back out, rather than try to beat the octopus effect.

If baby is fussy, put them in the bath or take them outside.

If they're really fussy and you're having a tough time, it's ok to put them in their crib and take a five minute break.

You can do this. Moms raised babies in caves, right? Also, your DH is just as capable as you are. DO NOT swoop in and "help" or you will train him to question his instincts and "need" you to do it all. F that! Get yourself out of the house for a while and leave them to it, they will be fine (and thrive - DH has special tricks of his own I'd never have come up with).

[scribellesam]

Enjoy every minute! ... haha, just kidding.

Have access to a LC or nursing group if you want to BF, they can be a godsend if you're having issues in the beginning.

If baby won't sleep in a bassinet or crib, stick their butt in a swing or a Rock'n'Play - that thing saved my sanity!

I second whoever said bath or outside as a good soothing tool. I still use both and DS is 7 months. We call them our "reset button."

[Brie]

Oh, and if you have a boy, point it down and cover it up at all times.

And it is not the end of the world if your kid cries for two minutes while you put them somewhere safe so you can poop and make a sandwich.

[speckledfrog]

It is okay if you don't feel hopelessly in love with your baby from the first moment. Some moms do but some moms don't and it is completely normal. Those feelings will come with time.

Take a nap when you can. No, really. You can deal with things much better when you have even a little bit more sleep.

Find other moms to talk to. You'll feel more connected and the things you are going through will seem much more normal.

Soak poopy clothes right away. Even if they sit in the sink all day, they will clean up much easier.

Get out of the house every day or two, even if it is just too walk down the street. You don't realize you have cabin fever until you hit fresh air.

[mollybrown]

I agree with pretty much everything that's been said. I'll add: try not to compare your baby to others. It's almost impossible not to when other people are bragging about how fat/vocal/mobile/smart their baby is. People with average or below babies don't necessarily say anything, so the information you're hearing is skewed. And, you really won't remember any of these all important stats by the time your kid is 3 anyway. Thank God for the baby book, because without it I wouldn't be able to tell you when my son crawled, rolled over, or got his first tooth. Even though I was consumed with those things as they were happening.

[celiacmom]

Don't compare your parenting style with others. Follow your gut and do what's right for your particular child.

If you plan to breast feed instead if taking a class,save that money for a lactation consultant to do a home visit after baby is home.

Surround yourself with like minded moms.

[knitty]

Dec 18, 2012 22:18:26 GMT -5 Brie said:

Dec 18, 2012 22:06:07 GMT -5 pugz said:

watch the happiest baby on the block dvd, much faster than reading the book and employing the 5 S's can save your sanity!

introduce a bottle sooner rather than later, even if you are BFing

talk to your doctor if you have signs of PPD

AND TAKE THE COLACE.

A friend of mine didn't take the colace. Foolish girl.

[gibbinator]

Learn to breastfeed side lying in bed.

I second the mom's group recommendation, having somewhere to go once a week for a few hours to trade war stories with other parents is amazing for your sanity. So is an hour alone a couple times a week while your dh takes the baby out.

[chickens987]

one thing my LC says is habits are hard to break now (at 3 mos), and they're hard to break later. that's helped me not stress too much about creating bad habits - you do what you need to survive and deal with it later when it's not your only coping mechanism.

also, I view every moment with a newborn/infant as a new opportunity - if she has a crappy morning nap, I don't let that set me up to expect the same for the next nap. I just push the reset button and start all over.

[xokell2]

I completely agree with what everyone said. I also felt like taking a shower everyday, putting on makeup, and doing my hair made me feel so much better everyday. Don't forget to take care of yourself.

I was the WORST hoverer with my husband. And yes, totally take advantage of how portable they are. Toddlers are a whole other ball game

[bunch]

If people offer to bring you food, say YES and get them committed to a date right away.

[Deleted]

The "average baby" your friends, books, pedi, etc... talks about does not exist. There's only YOUR baby, and what works for him/her. My life and DS's got so much better once I let go of how he's "supposed to be" and just embraced how he is. An example would be "everyone" says he should be down to two naps a day by now (10 mo). I tried cutting one and it failed miserably. I literally could not keep him awake, he was so cranky and overtired. We went back to 3 naps a day and he's so much happier. Screw what "they" say and do what works for YOUR baby.

Don't do stuff that stresses you out if you don't have to. Hate grocery shopping? Give that task to DH. Hate going to the mall? Buy your stuff online. I was so, so sure I was going to CD, I read everything about it and had a small stash. I tried it after his cord stump fell off and was so stressed by it. DS cried when wet for the first time, and two loads of laundry a day was completely overwhelming. So I went back to disposables and I'm so glad I did. There is no need to stress yourself unnecessarily, having a baby is stressful enough.

[Deleted]

Don't try too hard to force things. If your baby just is not behaving like that damn baby in the book, give it a day or a week or a month and see how things are going then. You can kill yourself trying to make things happen, or you can survive and wait, and odds are it will take about the same amount of time either way.

I had to get out of the house. I had an optional place to go nearly every weekday, and I loved it. Some days I chose to stay home, but knowing that there were people I could go see if I wanted helped a lot.

Never wake your husband to tell him how much you hate him in that moment. You probably won't hate him later.

[jackpackage]

Accept help when it's offered! When neighbors ask if there's anything you need, have them come over and hold your baby while you take a nap.

[Deleted]

Don't rush the crib transition if your baby starts out somewhere else first. No need to ruin a good thing if everyone is getting sleep. I am taking my own advice here!

Having mom friends (and this board when my friends aren't available - ie MOTN) has been the key to my sanity.

Try to get out of the house when you can. I always felt so much more productive on my mat leave when I ran an errand. Maybe because my kid slept so much in the car and stroller. I never felt like I got anything accomplished when I was at home because DD constantly needed to be entertained and was not (and still isn't) a good napper at home.

[hannamaren]

I totally agree with dont compare babies. Adults are different, right?
It is hard to break your baby (don't drop it) but like Brie said, few minutes of crying or even more is not going to scar the baby.
Ignore nosy strangers that think they know your baby.
Vent here!
Don't be a Mommy martyr. It is not helpful for anyone.

[Deleted]

Don't sweat the small stuff. It's a marathon, not a sprint.

For example, as much as you may have wanted to do it, it's really not the end of the world if you can't breastfeed for whatever reason. Your child will still have every possibility of turning out happy and healthy and successful And I can't imagine that you will still be ruminating on it when he or she is 18.

[whitepicketfence]

It's ok to ask for (and accept) help from others when you need it.

[baconlettucetomato]

And bookmarking this page.

[gibbinator]

Oh and if you have a boy, keep that penis pointed down!

[mellymel]

Don't listen to people that tell you not to hold your baby too much, or snuggle him/her too much. I let DS snuggle as much as he wanted in those early days, despite EVERYONE telling me I was spoiling him. Guess what? I don't regret it at all. Those days pass quickly and when they become independent they don't want to snuggle all the time anymore.

Do what you feel is right, not what others tell you is right.

[hocus]

For me it really depends on age.

For months 0-4: DO WHAT WORKS. If your kid is a swing junkie, sleeps in your bed, uses a million pacis it is all fine. Sure setting up go habits is great and all but for a lot of people with window is really hard. Do what works for you and your kid.

For months 4-8: DO WHAT IS HARD. That might mean some sleep training. It might mean setting limits. It might mean helping your kid learn to play alone. Now is the time to really set yourself for the long haul. The longer you wait the more difficult it is to change a kids behavior.



Other rules of thumb.
1. Good sleep is key to a happy baby. If your baby is grumpy all the time consider being more protective of sleep. My kids take 99% of their naps at home at the same time. It can be limiting but it really helps. If your kid is flexible then great, but you might not have that kid.

2. If and when you kid starts to be picky about food (~18 months) do not freak out. Do not cater to your kid. Feed your kid a meal with at least one think you know they like and let them make the choice to eat or not. Ideally you and your kid should eat the same things by 18 months for most meals. With the exception of alcohol my kids can have what I am having which means I limit my own junk food intake.

3. Know what is developmentally correct. Most kids go through a clingy phase around 9 to 12 months. Most kids get into everything around 16 months. A lot of kids have tantrums around 2.

4. Remember that all parents make mistakes. It is ok if you do something you thought you'd never do. It is ok if you don't have all the answers. And it really is ok if you and your DH don't agree. Keep at. Find support within your community or online.

[nabum]

The best advice I can give is to limit your expectations. I really thought that I was going to have this super easy-going baby that just went with the flow, slept great and adapted to our busy lifestyle. What I got was quite different and it was a huge shock.

Also, if you plan to return to work try to add a maid into your budget. I don't think I had PPD right away, but after going back to work I did start to feel really overwhelmed with everything - taking care of my son, pumping and BF, sleep deprivation, work, and especially taking care of our house. Since getting a maid I feel a lot less stressed out overall.

Lastly, take time for your self and for your marriage. Plan date nights, days out with your friends, etc. You will be a better mom because of it.