Post by TrudyCampbell on Jan 4, 2013 15:21:07 GMT -5
If you have done CIO at all I need some help.
V is a great sleeper mostly so I haven't really done any type of sleep training. I do always nurse her to sleep, though. Lately she isn't falling asleep nursing and she is resisting letting me rock her. I figured today I'd let her cry for 10 minutes to see what happened. That was an hour and 20 min ago :-|
When I first went in after 10 min I realized she had a poop and I felt awful for letting her CIO when all she needed was a diaper change. How do you know when to go in because they might really need you? I keep thinking of people who just let their baby cry until they stop, well if V had a poop she would never stop... what happens then?
And now the last hour has been spent rocking, trying to nurse and having her bite me, and then putting her down and her crying. She's screaming again now. I want to cry.
We never did CIO, largely for this reason, but when she is being combative like you're talking about here, the put down/pick up thing helps. There's still some crying, but it's not CIO and it helps cut back on your baby fighting you while fighting sleep. Somebody here, I think thadsrad, told me about it.
I recommend looking up the Sleep Lady Shuffle if CIO isn't for her. I couldn't do it with M. I never knew what to do. SLS works for both of us. Naps went from Hell to easy....unless she's sick or something.
We used Ferber and had great success, but that was several months ago. The older the baby gets, the more that will fight back according to our pedi. V is older, so she is going to protest hard when she doesn't want something.
If you choose to sleep train/CIO, I'd highly suggest getting the Ferber book and following his program exactly. The book is really helpful and informative and it's so much easier on mom and baby when you are just following the books.
On the first day, I think the check ins begin at 3 minutes. So, if after 3 minutes you went to check-in, you would have smelled her poop and changed her.
We used Ferber and had great success, but that was several months ago. The older the baby gets, the more that will fight back according to our pedi. V is older, so she is going to protest hard when she doesn't want something.
If you choose to sleep train/CIO, I'd highly suggest getting the Ferber book and following his program exactly. The book is really helpful and informative and it's so much easier on mom and baby when you are just following the books.
On the first day, I think the check ins begin at 3 minutes. So, if after 3 minutes you went to check-in, you would have smelled her poop and changed her.
I agree with reading the book and following the plan exactly. That way you don't have to be nervous that you're doing it wrong.
Post by Faevantastic on Jan 4, 2013 15:31:51 GMT -5
I liked SLS too. I must say though, Ev still cries whenever I put him in his crib. He falls asleep as quick as a minute to as long as 30 minutes. If it passes 30 mins, I pick him up. Sorry, I'm not much help.
Wow. M has napped twice in that time. She probably is WAY overtired. When M is like that, she usually cries herself to sleep no matter what I do. So I just hold her so she's not crying and upset and alone. Good luck.
Post by Regina Philange on Jan 4, 2013 15:34:02 GMT -5
Ok Trudy, try going in there but dont pick her up. Pat her belly and put your hand on her tummy and shh and gently rock back and forth. That should help calm her. I hope it works.
We've just restarted Ferber. I admit I did not read the book. I go to him after five mins, then 19 mins, then 15 mins intervals. He's not enjoying it, but I think it's working.
Post by Regina Philange on Jan 4, 2013 15:36:07 GMT -5
If that doesnt work just because she is overtired maybe just rock to sleep this one time. Like hoody said if she is that overtired she may cry herself to sleep regardless.
Aww, I feel badly for you. That is the worst. I'm sure she'll fall asleep soon. If you going in there is making her more upset, I'd stop going in and give it a little more time. If she's not sleeping in whatever time you are comfortable with (maybe 15 more minutes), if it were me, I'd probably throw her in the Ergo and walk around the apartment bouncing and then let her nap on me. That usually works with my kiddo. I wish you had a car you could drive her around in - that is another fail proof sleep method.
Wow. M has napped twice in that time. She probably is WAY overtired. When M is like that, she usually cries herself to sleep no matter what I do. So I just hold her so she's not crying and upset and alone. Good luck.
This is what I ended up doing. I went in and picked her up and she cried until she fell asleep.
So, because I picked her up, does that mean I ruined any CIO progress I would have potentially made?
Anddd now it is so fucking late! She should have been awake from hr nap at 3pm not taking a nap at 3:40pm. Do I wake her up at some point?
THIS IS THE WORST!!! I will be reading Ferber tonight.
Post by thedahliharpa on Jan 4, 2013 15:41:24 GMT -5
You might just need to hold her and rock her tight until she stops fighting. We used to call it "nubbing out" with H. It was the worst but sometimes she needed that sleep. I'm sorry you are having such a tough day! Is it too cold to put her in the stroller and take a short walk so you don't go nuts?
You might just need to hold her and rock her tight until she stops fighting. We used to call it "nubbing out" with H. It was the worst but sometimes she needed that sleep. I'm sorry you are having such a tough day! Is it too cold to put her in the stroller and take a short walk so you don't go nuts?
This is basically what I did. She was trying to push me away and I just kind of swaddled her in a way and she eventually gave up. The stroller was a good suggestion, I'll try that in the future. It's a total PITA to bundle her up and carry the stroller out of my building but it would have worked probably.
And also, you're not supposed to read threads with CIO in the title!
I say it won't ruin progress. if M has one bad day....it doesn't ruin our routine on other days. if you just started, she just may need an adjustment period.
Post by TrudyCampbell on Jan 4, 2013 15:52:06 GMT -5
Soo this is basically the opposite of what I did. And speaking of naptime... I need a freaking nap right now. Oh, and a cheeseburger.
Naptime: Use the same waiting schedule for naps, but if your child hasn’t fallen asleep after half an hour, or if he is awake again and calling or crying vigorously, end the nap. He may fall asleep on his own in another room, which is fine initially, as long as he does it by himself without the associations you are trying to break. However, don’t let the amount of napping time increase to make up for the sleep he lost at night. Also, don’t let naps run so late (past 4 pm) that they will interfere with falling asleep at night.
We used Ferber and had great success, but that was several months ago. The older the baby gets, the more that will fight back according to our pedi. V is older, so she is going to protest hard when she doesn't want something.
If you choose to sleep train/CIO, I'd highly suggest getting the Ferber book and following his program exactly. The book is really helpful and informative and it's so much easier on mom and baby when you are just following the books.
On the first day, I think the check ins begin at 3 minutes. So, if after 3 minutes you went to check-in, you would have smelled her poop and changed her.
This exactly. The older a baby gets, the harder sleep training gets. As far as figuring out if something is really wrong, I just went by her cries. I can tell her I'm-just-pissed-off cry from her something-is-really-wrong-help-me cry, which was my saving grace. I knew she wasn't exactly pleased having to learn to put herself to sleep, but I also knew that she was fed, clean, and healthy. CIO sucks, no one would disagree. Hearing your baby upset is never fun and is a wreck for the nerves. You're fortunate in that Violet sleeps well and if you decide to do sleep training, you will liekly only have to do a very minor, gentle method for her to be successful.
I have to do the whole, if the nap initially failed (too much crying) take her our of the room, let her play a bit and try again. She freaks out too much for me if i dont do that. My LO is actually putting herself on a further apart nap schedule and before I realized this nap time was hell. She now goes 4 to 5 hours between naps most days and sometimes will only nap once a day.