Everyone is discussing things that are irrelevant. The state gave them what they qualified for. I don't think she can go back and say, hey we only used X, so here's Y back. She either gets them or she doesn't and for now, she does still needs them. And aehelpme, I don't understand why you're defending this to people who didn't even answer your question. The fact is, no, it's probably not the most ethical use of them, but you have them and you're doing what you think is best, so keep calm and carry on. You husband sometimes earns $1200 a month. Obviously, you should be taking any job you can, but hey, you didn't ask all that, so I figured, why mention it lol.
Thank you! I admit I get very defensive, which is not a good thing. But I'm seriously trying to better my life with my son and husband. And you are right, you can't tell the government you only need a certain amount of money per month for food. They give me the same amount every month, regardless of what I spend. I will take any job I can get but I wanted to first try and see if I could get anything better. I do appreciate the feedback though!
I'm with bucky; are you looking or not? I really think you need to look for a job. Not everyone gets the luxury of staying at home to enjoy their children.
With the excess, I'd save it more the time being. You never know when you'll need a car repair or some other emergency expense pops up. When you're back on your feet, you can give a little to your mom and MIL if you wish, but they likely don't need/want it.
What is the Seaworld line item? I know it's only $25, but it looks like something extra.
It's a pass for my husband and I for SeaWorld and Busch Gardens. Whenever we feel like doing something other than hanging out at my ILs, we go there. We pack food and drinks and don't buy anything. That's the only reason we keep it.
It would have been best to avoid mentioning giving fs money to your families at all. A simple, "we qualify for $461 in food stamps" would have sufficed. How you spend that money/give that food away doesn't matter to anyone on the Internet if you don't tell them.
For the record, I'd be using every last penny to stock my cupboards so there is an extra spaghetti meal in the house in case we hit rough times again. You're entitled to the assistance, use it. Just don't offer explanations about its use :-)
It would have been best to avoid mentioning giving fs money to your families at all. A simple, "we qualify for $461 in food stamps" would have sufficed. How you spend that money/give that food away doesn't matter to anyone on the Internet if you don't tell them.
For the record, I'd be using every last penny to stock my cupboards so there is an extra spaghetti meal in the house in case we hit rough times again. You're entitled to the assistance, use it. Just don't offer explanations about its use :-)
Well to be honest, I felt that if I didn't put that, I thought I would be flamed for taking so much from our families and not doing anything for them.
Wow some people have not a clue how food stamps work. I'm keeled over laughing at the idea of using your food stamps to create an efund. Yes an efund in the form of lentils and industrial sized peanut butter jars! What is the point of commenting if you don't even understand the basics of how it works? Oh because you want to shame someone. How charming.
OP I think you're incredibly lucky to have a MIL who will provide free childcare. If for some reason that falls through maybe you should work and have your H stay home. With a degree you should have at least slightly more earning potential than he does. And I don't think think there is a universe in which you can afford paid child care. Fingers crossed that you can find a job soon.
I am very lucky to have my MIL! She has been providing free child care for us since I had my son so I could finish school. While I was in school, I had to work every semester as well to fulfill the internship credits for my degree.
Right before I graduated a few weeks ago, I was offered a job starting at 35k a year in my industry, but the funding to get me there fell through with the company so it's not going to happen anymore. With that, we we were planning on my husband staying home and starting college.
I think some people misunderstood my OP. I never said my goal was to be a SAHM. I WANT to work. I know that with my degree, I'm the money maker. I just need to find that coveted first job after college.
And you are right. Daycare near me is about 1200 a month for full time. There is no way we would pay that! One of us would be working simply to pay daycare. Not gonna happen!
Thank you so much for the positive feedback. I really appreciate it!
It usually works out to be about 75 a month that I can give them. It's my only way of saying thank you to them for paying my bills and helping my son. I'm sorry if you think it's wrong but I've done it once, and we will hopefully only be on food stamps for another 2 months or less.
your husband should absolutely adjust his witholdings. getting a $6800 refund at your income level is ridiculous. if he adjusted his withholdings, that would be an extra $566 per month you would have for your budget.
LOL, apparently you aren't familiar with the Earned Income Tax Credit. They don't get a large refund because they've paid in too much, they get it because they MAKE so little. It's a welfare program.
Although, OP, if your husband's income is higher this year with the overtime and whatnot, the amount of EITC you're going to receive is probably going to go down too. So maybe don't spend that whole $6800 until you actually do your taxes.
FTR - I see nothing wrong with using food stamps. I also see nothing wrong with hosting your family for dinner using food bought with food stamps. I don't know how I would feel if you were buying groceries with food stamps and bringing them to your family's house - I get what you're trying to do there and I basically just want everyone to have enough food so if they needed it too, that's cool.
My issue was with the fact that in your OP, you mentioned that your DH wants you to stay home and enjoy your son. There is nothing wrong with enjoying your son, and if you're actively looking for a job, I hope you have a blast doing that. It just sounded like you were saying your DH wanted you to be a SAHM for a while to spend time with your son. That's what I don't agree with, accepting public assistance while choosing not to work.
Since you've clarified that you want to work, I think it would have just made more sense to leave your DH's opinion out of the OP since it just makes things confusing. It doesn't sound like it's relevant here.
Anyway just wanted to clarify that I'm glad you are able to get food
Don't be ashamed to take food stamps. You are doing exactly what the food stamp (and other) programs should be used for - temporary help while you work to better your life. I don't fault you for that, nor should you be ashamed of that. You get it because you qualify for it. And the lessons and money management skill you learn now will be very helpful when you have more money.
Uh, thanks, but I think I've made that very clear. I'm not becoming a stay at home mom.
PP was right, I should not have put so much detail into my OP. My husband would be fine with me staying at home and taking assistance for a while. I, however, am not fine with this at all!
I was asking for advice on what to do with the little bit of (variable) excess we have for right now while I look for a job.
your husband should absolutely adjust his witholdings. getting a $6800 refund at your income level is ridiculous. if he adjusted his withholdings, that would be an extra $566 per month you would have for your budget.
LOL, apparently you aren't familiar with the Earned Income Tax Credit. They don't get a large refund because they've paid in too much, they get it because they MAKE so little. It's a welfare program.
Although, OP, if your husband's income is higher this year with the overtime and whatnot, the amount of EITC you're going to receive is probably going to go down too. So maybe don't spend that whole $6800 until you actually do your taxes.
Yes, thank you for that first part! I couldn't think of the actual name of the program, lol.
He JUST started picking up all extra shifts. I have only been without a job for 3 weeks so far. We also had a medical emergency last year with me and the baby (the reason we have so many credit cards) so he had to take some time off of work in the beginning of 2012.
FTR - I see nothing wrong with using food stamps. I also see nothing wrong with hosting your family for dinner using food bought with food stamps. I don't know how I would feel if you were buying groceries with food stamps and bringing them to your family's house - I get what you're trying to do there and I basically just want everyone to have enough food so if they needed it too, that's cool.
My issue was with the fact that in your OP, you mentioned that your DH wants you to stay home and enjoy your son. There is nothing wrong with enjoying your son, and if you're actively looking for a job, I hope you have a blast doing that. It just sounded like you were saying your DH wanted you to be a SAHM for a while to spend time with your son. That's what I don't agree with, accepting public assistance while choosing not to work.
Since you've clarified that you want to work, I think it would have just made more sense to leave your DH's opinion out of the OP since it just makes things confusing. It doesn't sound like it's relevant here.
Anyway just wanted to clarify that I'm glad you are able to get food
My husband actually does want this. I don't agree with it at all though! But I will admit that the last 3 weeks I have not looked for a job. With the holidays and me graduating, I wanted to take some time off. This week I have spent every nap time and after the baby went to bed looking for a job!
Thank you! I know I need to be less detailed, lol.
I would put every $1 of excess into an e-fund until you get at least $1,000 saved, but probably more like $3,000. After that, if you want to pay your MIL for childcare, I think that would be great.
I would put every $1 of excess into an e-fund until you get at least $1,000 saved, but probably more like $3,000. After that, if you want to pay your MIL for childcare, I think that would be great.
I'm hoping to have some money left from our taxes to start this off. It's a great idea. I hate not having anything in savings. After that I will definitely start offering money to my MIL for childcare. Thanks!
You are backtracking a lot in your post. Even though the details aren't relevant to your question, it is still bothersome IMO.
Anyway, I would put anything extra in savings right now. This money could be used for relocating if you find a job somewhere else or for your H to go back to school. I'm not sure what your degree is in but some of your expenses may increase once you get a job, like clothing costs and gas. You may lose some public assistance once you're making more money so I try to do whatever you can to build your savings. I would also use extra food stamp money to stock up on dry goods just in case you lose that, too.
Have you worked full-time anywhere before? Can you volunteer in your field? Having some sort of job or volunteer work will look better on your resume when you look for jobs. I would focus on that.
You are backtracking a lot in your post. Even though the details aren't relevant to your question, it is still bothersome IMO.
Anyway, I would put anything extra in savings right now. This money could be used for relocating if you find a job somewhere else or for your H to go back to school. I'm not sure what your degree is in but some of your expenses may increase once you get a job, like clothing costs and gas. You may lose some public assistance once you're making more money so I try to do whatever you can to build your savings. I would also use extra food stamp money to stock up on dry goods just in case you lose that, too.
Have you worked full-time anywhere before? Can you volunteer in your field? Having some sort of job or volunteer work will look better on your resume when you look for jobs. I would focus on that.
Good idea about stockpiling dry goods. We already have a lot of pasta and canned goods but I can always add to it. I have worked full-time but they were all semester long internships. I have a lot of experience in my field. (I'm in hospitality.) You can't volunteer at all in my industry but I'm certainly not opposed to any part-time jobs either.
I'm not counting on food stamps being there when I get a job. I never said that. The reason I mentioned that we usually only spend about 200 of it is because we are really good at meal planning and keeping grocery costs low.
I have a lot of professional clothing so costs for that won't go up, but I will budget for a higher gas cost. Thanks!
I don't have anything to suggest that hasn't already been said, but i do want to say good luck. I hope you find a job soon. Also i am amazed that $200 can feed 2 adults and a toddler (assuming you are not going out to eat a lot). That's only $50/week. I can't make a quick trip to the grocery store without spending $30, and that is just for a few things. And i do not live in a HCOL area...
I don't think where I live is HCOL. It's pretty low actually. I shop at Aldi, so a full week usually is $47.
So in the OP you said you buy your mom groceries and now it's you make a lot of pasta for them. Yeah ok.
Anyways, with your situation you should cut out your Disney pass and save as much as you can.
I said I help them with groceries, and then explained how I do it. I buy food, come home, invite them over, we have dinner, and they take whatever food they want. I'm sorry if this isn't coming across very clear but it's not the point of the post at all. So I really don't think it matters.
We don't have a Disney pass. We have a SeaWorld/Busch Gardens combo pass. We aren't willing to cut this because it's the only money we spend on any type of "entertainment", and we have had it for over 2 years now. They have gone way up in price and we would eventually purchase passes again so that would be wasteful.
Keep in mind as you build your savings, you will not qualify for food stamps. I know in my state you do not qualify if you have more than $1500 in monetary assets (house and cars not included). This will happen if you keep saving your overage (that is a good thing though). My suggestion is to do what others have said. Use the $461 for your family. Buy non-perishables with the extra (for your family) Things like granola bars, cereals, soup mixes that you add a few things and have a several meals. Stock pile it. Also you could buy things that you can freeze for up to a year like cheese, tortilla shells, and meats if properly stored. When you do get a job, you likely will not be making as much as you hope. It may be nice to have some meals that could be free or really cheap.
Keep in mind as you build your savings, you will not qualify for food stamps. I know in my state you do not qualify if you have more than $1500 in monetary assets (house and cars not included). This will happen if you keep saving your overage (that is a good thing though). My suggestion is to do what others have said. Use the $461 for your family. Buy non-perishables with the extra (for your family) Things like granola bars, cereals, soup mixes that you add a few things and have a several meals. Stock pile it. Also you could buy things that you can freeze for up to a year like cheese, tortilla shells, and meats if properly stored. When you do get a job, you likely will not be making as much as you hope. It may be nice to have some meals that could be free or really cheap.
I think in my state it is 5000 but I will double check on that, thanks! We don't have a large freezer in our new apartment but like I said before, I'll try and add to our pasta/canned goods.
I know I won't be making a ton of money right off the bat. I just want to see if I can get something around $10/hour or more before I settle for way less. I set a deadline for myself so if the time comes, I will take any job.
Everyone is discussing things that are irrelevant. The state gave them what they qualified for. I don't think she can go back and say, hey we only used X, so here's Y back. She either gets them or she doesn't and for now, she does still needs them. And aehelpme, I don't understand why you're defending this to people who didn't even answer your question. The fact is, no, it's probably not the most ethical use of them, but you have them and you're doing what you think is best, so keep calm and carry on. You husband sometimes earns $1200 a month. Obviously, you should be taking any job you can, but hey, you didn't ask all that, so I figured, why mention it lol.
This, this and this. Many of the previous posters obviously don't know anything about foodstamps or EITC. And I won't even get in to the fact that in my state at least you would qualify for significant daycare assistance if you were working. But you don't get to choose how much you get in foodstamps and you don't just send the leftover back to the taxpayers, and you definitely don't save it as an e-fund. Apparently other posters would rather you stock up on fancy ice cream and deli sandwiches rather than pay a favor back to your families.
(I used to work at a group home.... my clients' rent was paid for by Medicaid, and the rent included 3 full meals a day. They all also qualified for foodstamps and used it to buy expensive snacks. True story.)
I agree with others that long term SAHMing is not the responsible thing to do in your position, but I don't think that's what you're aiming to do. I honestly don't have a problem with you taking a few months to look for the right job and spend more time with your family while you do it.
To answer your question - are your parents and in-laws financially stable? If so, I would put all of your extra into savings. You're going to have big expenses come up in the future and you never want to end up back where you are now. If your parents or in-laws are financially struggling to help you, then give them $100-$150 each on the months you have excess and then save the rest. Having a large savings that you use carefully is going to be a big part of getting you permanently out of this.
Everyone is discussing things that are irrelevant. The state gave them what they qualified for. I don't think she can go back and say, hey we only used X, so here's Y back. She either gets them or she doesn't and for now, she does still needs them. And aehelpme, I don't understand why you're defending this to people who didn't even answer your question. The fact is, no, it's probably not the most ethical use of them, but you have them and you're doing what you think is best, so keep calm and carry on. You husband sometimes earns $1200 a month. Obviously, you should be taking any job you can, but hey, you didn't ask all that, so I figured, why mention it lol.
This, this and this. Many of the previous posters obviously don't know anything about foodstamps or EITC. And I won't even get in to the fact that in my state at least you would qualify for significant daycare assistance if you were working. But you don't get to choose how much you get in foodstamps and you don't just send the leftover back to the taxpayers, and you definitely don't save it as an e-fund. Apparently other posters would rather you stock up on fancy ice cream and deli sandwiches rather than pay a favor back to your families.
(I used to work at a group home.... my clients' rent was paid for by Medicaid, and the rent included 3 full meals a day. They all also qualified for foodstamps and used it to buy expensive snacks. True story.)
I agree with others that long term SAHMing is not the responsible thing to do in your position, but I don't think that's what you're aiming to do. I honestly don't have a problem with you taking a few months to look for the right job and spend more time with your family while you do it.
To answer your question - are your parents and in-laws financially stable? If so, I would put all of your extra into savings. You're going to have big expenses come up in the future and you never want to end up back where you are now. If your parents or in-laws are financially struggling to help you, then give them $100-$150 each on the months you have excess and then save the rest. Having a large savings that you use carefully is going to be a big part of getting you permanently out of this.
Thank you so much for that response. It's definitely not easy being in my position and asking ladies who have never been through this for advice. But I needed help!
They are all financially stable. So much so that if my husband were to lose his job for any reason, they would pay for all of our bills without being asked. We seriously have the most amazing families and I am so unbelievably grateful for them.
Before I posted I was in the mindset of either putting it all into savings OR giving back to them a little. I realize now that I can split it until I get a job. That is a really great idea! It sounds strange but I've always wanted a savings account!
Its an old nest joke about SNAP. "No skittles for poor people."
ETA: Sorry, didn't explain it. Its a one-liner about judging "poor" people's spending habits. You know, since they are getting taxpayer food, they aren't allowed to have treats like candy and such. Kind of the same idea and judging a coach purse in the SS office, people with cell phones paying with food stamps, etc. Usually said by someone who does not agree.