Back again, for budget advice!

[aehelpme]

Jan 5, 2013 21:51:20 GMT -5 stephm0188 said:

What advice are you asking for exactly? You say you don't "need" money and you have excess, yet your mother is covering expenses for you. You have no savings. You have no line in your budget for household stuff that SNAP doesn't cover... toilet paper, toiletries, haircuts, car maintainence, ect. You're saying that you don't want to settle for a job, but you hate being poor but you'll consider a minimum wage job later.

What are you asking for exactly?

The reason I don't pay those other 2 bills is because I can't count my husband to work extra shifts. Some weeks there aren't any available. I was asking what to do with the excess money we sometimes have. I wanted to know whether I should give it to my mom or put it in savings.

I don't get hair cuts, and I cut my husbands hair for him. My stepdad is a mechanic so he fixes our cars, changes oil, etc. I factor toilet paper and shampoo in the groceries line. I make our laundry detergent and dishwasher detergent and $10 lasts me 6 months so I didn't factor that in either.

[sopsyched]

I just wanted to chime in late to say that I have been where you are. Barely making it on 9.75 an hour (but I'm a single parent), and getting food stamps and WIC. I never felt any shame either because I was hustling to make it through college and survive. Save every damn dime you can from now until you find a job, and of that tax return too. As I'm sure you know, things can go bad very quickly, and it feels so good to have a cushion and not worry. However when it comes to your job, I would say to take an entry level job in your field if that's all you can find right now. I had to work a very shitty job in mental health for 3 years, but once I got that experience under my belt I was able to more than double my income. it truly sucked though.

As far as your food stamps, hey I say you do what you have to do. WIC used to give me 6 gallons of milk per month, and a lot of cereal Wtf was I gonna do with that much milk? I gave it to my neighbors, who were also broke, but made too much to qualify for any assistance. They in turn helped me out by watching my kids when I had to work weekend overtime. Life is hard sometimes, and it doesn't hurt to help others that are helping you.

[hlke]

You should definitely put any extra into savings.

I also think you are doing the right thing by doing a thorough job search for a good job. That is the best thing you can do for your family's future financial security. I did the same thing when I had to relocate to a new area. I job hunted about 20 hours a week. It would have been very hard to also have even a part time job, as networking meetings and interviews are unpredictable. The only thing different in your situation is you are getting SNAP. Apparently PPs would rather you stay in poverty by taking a minimum wage job than to accept a few months of assistance to find a job that lifts you out of poverty.

Once you get a new job, look at adjusting your withholding. You can get something known as advance EITC payments, so the EITC comes in your paycheck over the year instead of at refund time. Hopefully your income will be too high for the EITC soon anyway.

[vanillacourage]

I agree with the others that the best thing you can do for your family (extended or otherwise) is get off assistance. I'd stop inviting them over to have things from your cupboard, because once you do get off FS your grocery budget is going to be tight, and you may wish you had that food back if much of it is nonperishable. I would look for other ways to thank your family -for example, you say your MIL stays home with her younger kids. Until you get a job, you could go over there once a week and wrangle the kids, to give her some time for herself or to run errands solo. Etc.

I don't have a problem with the Seaworld passes if it really is just $25. In general I think your DH should adjust his withholdings so you stop getting these huge refunds - the money will do you more good in your pocket each month if you stay careful with your budgeting. I would start an e-fund with a goal of $1k, and by then hopefully you will have found a job and you can look at other financial goals (your DH going back to school, maybe).

Kudos to you for keeping your eyes on the prize!

[dumbledore826]

Ditto to the posters on giving you props for getting through college with a LO while maintaining a full scholarship. As somebody who is also getting some help from family (DH and I were under/unemployed for almost 2 years), they insist that we spend on doing fun things. That is a non-issue for me, because I feel, from what you've said, if you cut it either your Mom or MIL would pick it up and it would just be more expensive for them.

The only things I would say are definitely save EVERY penny of your DH's extra income/tax return. And for the FS, stock pile non-perishable goods. Not sure if bottled water qualifies or not, but if so BUY BUY BUY. If you have the "extra" money, use it to make sure your hurricane supplies are in order for June. (Bottled water is usually good for a year+).

[aehelpme]

Jan 6, 2013 10:10:57 GMT -5 vanillacourage said:

I agree with the others that the best thing you can do for your family (extended or otherwise) is get off assistance. I'd stop inviting them over to have things from your cupboard, because once you do get off FS your grocery budget is going to be tight, and you may wish you had that food back if much of it is nonperishable. I would look for other ways to thank your family -for example, you say your MIL stays home with her younger kids. Until you get a job, you could go over there once a week and wrangle the kids, to give her some time for herself or to run errands solo. Etc.

I don't have a problem with the Seaworld passes if it really is just $25. In general I think your DH should adjust his withholdings so you stop getting these huge refunds - the money will do you more good in your pocket each month if you stay careful with your budgeting. I would start an e-fund with a goal of $1k, and by then hopefully you will have found a job and you can look at other financial goals (your DH going back to school, maybe).

Kudos to you for keeping your eyes on the prize!

I think his withholdings are okay, it's just that we get so many credits for multiple things: being low income, having a child, me being in school. I will have to look into what a PP said about getting the EITC spread out and added to his paychecks.

Thanks!

[aehelpme]

Jan 6, 2013 11:50:21 GMT -5 dumbledore826 said:

Ditto to the posters on giving you props for getting through college with a LO while maintaining a full scholarship. As somebody who is also getting some help from family (DH and I were under/unemployed for almost 2 years), they insist that we spend on doing fun things. That is a non-issue for me, because I feel, from what you've said, if you cut it either your Mom or MIL would pick it up and it would just be more expensive for them.

The only things I would say are definitely save EVERY penny of your DH's extra income/tax return. And for the FS, stock pile non-perishable goods. Not sure if bottled water qualifies or not, but if so BUY BUY BUY. If you have the "extra" money, use it to make sure your hurricane supplies are in order for June. (Bottled water is usually good for a year+).

Thank you! I definitely think we are going to save all of it but occasionally have a girls day with my mom, MIL, and me. Bottled water qualifies, but we have one of the Brita filters in our fridge that we use for water. But that's a really great idea to make a hurricane kit with it! We are about to move to an apartment so I think we'll keep it at my ILs house. Their house is 2 minutes away from the new apartment.

Thank you for the idea!

And as to the college thing, I really wasn't fishing for compliments on that, lol. It never occurred to me to stop going to college when I got pregnant. It was difficult but dropping out never crossed my mind. I can thank my mom for that!

[hlke]

Jan 6, 2013 12:16:57 GMT -5 aehelpme said:

Jan 6, 2013 10:10:57 GMT -5 vanillacourage said:

I agree with the others that the best thing you can do for your family (extended or otherwise) is get off assistance. I'd stop inviting them over to have things from your cupboard, because once you do get off FS your grocery budget is going to be tight, and you may wish you had that food back if much of it is nonperishable. I would look for other ways to thank your family -for example, you say your MIL stays home with her younger kids. Until you get a job, you could go over there once a week and wrangle the kids, to give her some time for herself or to run errands solo. Etc.

I don't have a problem with the Seaworld passes if it really is just $25. In general I think your DH should adjust his withholdings so you stop getting these huge refunds - the money will do you more good in your pocket each month if you stay careful with your budgeting. I would start an e-fund with a goal of $1k, and by then hopefully you will have found a job and you can look at other financial goals (your DH going back to school, maybe).

Kudos to you for keeping your eyes on the prize!

I think his withholdings are okay, it's just that we get so many credits for multiple things: being low income, having a child, me being in school. I will have to look into what a PP said about getting the EITC spread out and added to his paychecks.

Thanks!

Also, if you had zero tax liability last year and expect to have zero tax liability this year, he can claim exempt from withholding and have nothing withheld. He could do that until you find a job, and then you have a little extra withheld to make up for it once you start a new job. That would give you a little more cash flow now.

[steph96]

Jan 5, 2013 18:08:47 GMT -5 aehelpme said:

Jan 5, 2013 18:05:32 GMT -5 thegooser said:

I see where people are going with the SeaWorld passes, but I disagree with them. You are on a bare bones budget and you have no entertainment of any kind, really. When I was a kid we had Six Flags passes that we used multiple weeknights in the summer and many weekend days. We went all the damn time, and it was endless entertainment for us kids.

I personally think it's best to take the long view on paying back your family. Step One is to have enough of a cushion that you don't need money from them if you have a bad month. That's the best thing you can do for them right now; get on your feet. So I vote to put all the extra in savings. Later on down the line you can pay them back when you have the money and you're financially secure.

I'm not willing to budge at all on the seaworld passes. Especially considering what I said in my OP about the price difference. Once we are stable we would buy them again and we would waste a ton of money. I just can't see us doing that.

Very good point with your last paragraph. I would love to be able to save it all and then buy them really great presents for Christmad next year. It would make me very happy!

I'm surprised nobody has brought up the bold portion.....

You need to worry about your family first. Save every single penny so that the next time your husband doesn't make enough to cover bills, you are able to dip into your savings and not have to ask anyone for help. Going to get pedicure may be a nice thank you, but you are looking at spending over $50. That is a week of groceries. I'm sure she would be fine with a heartfelt thank you. Wait until you are completely on your feet and you have savings built up before you go spending money on non-necessities.

[Deleted]

Steph96 went where I was going to go.

OP, I think you got some good advice (and some...odd...advice) already.

Two things to add:

#1 - With this tax refund, I would considering saving up to 50% of it. Your budget is tight, but cash in the bank is priceless, particularly today. It sounds like you'll end up with around $3k or so left over, but I just wanted to underline, SAVE THAT CASH!

#2 -- Please worry about your family's finances first before thinking about spending to thank your family.

It sounds like you already express your appreciation to your Mom and MIL, but taking them out to lunch / getting manicures / buying crap for Xmas is an expensive way to "treat" them. I bet a home-cooked lunch or a day at the library together (my mom and I used to go all the time, just hanging out reading magazines, chatting in the little library cafe) are going to be more meaningful experiences and cost less.

Just wanted to add my two cents. As someone who helped out a family member in a tough financial situation, I did NOT want that person buying me things to say thank you (they asked a few times). I'm helping you with your bills and to get back on your feet because you are my family and in a tough situation - do NOT waste money on getting me anything!!

Just wanted to share that perspective - good luck and keep focused.

[aehelpme]

Thanks everyone. I definitely meant I would treat them to gifts and lunches once we were stable and on our own 4 feet. But I totally get what you are saying.