I'm afraid to ask - but is it ok to buy a kitty?

[Deleted]

I KNOW, I KNOW. So many don't have homes. It's awful. I can't think about it. 

BUT...
I also know my limitations. I am not someone who can love something unconditionally if the person/animal couldn't care less about me. My boyfriend and I have been talking about getting a kitten and I think we could provide a loving home, quality care, daily cuddles/pets - but I do not want to make a 20 year commitment to an animal and resent it for not loving me back.   I know no matter what route you go you cannot guarantee a certain personality, but I think we can at least try to increase our odds of finding a pet I can love the way it ought to be loved. 

So far some of my reading suggests that Burmese cats are known for being friendly and forming strong attachments with their caregivers. They love being pet and cuddled and can be quite playful. I've also read that the younger the kitten is, the easier it is for the kitten to form an attachment with their new family. 

We are not yet ready to adopt but we are in the process of screening our options and continuing these discussions. I've been searching Chicago adoption websites for a Burmese kitten (or even adult cat) but there really don't seem to be any available. I'm starting to think that if we want this specific breed we'd likely have to consider purchasing through a breeder. Is this ever okay? If it is permissible, how do you know if the breeder is reputable? How does one find a local reputable breeder? I've read advice that one should always complete a home inspection to ensure that all pets in the home are well cared for, healthy, and happy - but I'm mostly in the dark here.

Thoughts? 

[Deleted]

It is never okay, in my mind, to purchase a cat from a breeder.

There are kittens in shelters, and I promise you that when you go in there one of them will want your undivided attention, and when you take him home and treat him well, he'll still want your undivided attention.

[Deleted]

If you are so concerned with the pet ring affectionate towards you, are you sure you want a cat?

You should try researching testing a Kitten's temperament and just visit a shelter. We got my dog from the pound and they let me play with the whole litter. I picked her because she came right to me and wanted to play.

[Deleted]

If you want a personable cat then ask for one at the shelter. Both my cats cuddle in their own way. One by not actually cuddling but sitting just close enough to touch me on the couch. My older cat isn't what I would call playful but he is currently nestled on my lap right now. And really, like children, you come to love them for who they are even if they're not what you expected. TK hid under the bed the first week we had him and I was so disappointed thinking he was just going to be antisocial cat forever but he definitely changed his stripes after the first week. He was free too!

[squirrely]

Why not try and foster a kitten that you like from a shelter? You can see if your personalities mesh with no long term commitment.

[chessie]

I see nothing wrong with this. Adopt a kitty where you feel comfortable. Going through a reputable breeder is an excellent way to find good stock for any animal. I know w hen I wanted to adopt from a shelter/rescue they wanted a full workup, paperwork (background, vet info..and home inspection) and breeder wanted references/vet info, but was much more relaxed. I wouldn't be too concerned about home inspection, they are just checking to confirm, 1- you have a home and you live where you say you are and 2- your living conditions.

I got our recent GSP from a reputable breeder- I checked past clients, show lines, etc to find this one and I was very happy. I was able to find lines that were pretty clean health wise as well.

[catbus]

I agree with papiercherri. Of course, I also feel the same way about dogs, which is a less popular opinion, at least on this board.

I think that with cats, personalities and temperaments are much more "luck of the draw" than with dogs. When I was a kid, we had two purebred Siamese cats (siblings from a shelter). One was super playful and cuddly, like a puppy, and one was pretty aloof. You're not necessarily guaranteed anything because of the breed.

That said, if you're interested in a particular breed, I'd check Petfinder.org. There are rescues that specialize in certain breeds. Good luck!

[Deleted]

I'm not sure about cats, but a reputable dog breeder is one who breeds infrequently and breeds for show dogs/ temperament/improvement of the breed. They will be heavily involved in the breed's organization/ membership group. Breedings are few and far between and there may be waiting lists for an available pet. They don't breed to produce pets, but will sell the dogs as pets that wouldn't make it in the show ring. Pet dogs would be sold with a strict neuter/ spay contract, although some breeders may sell a female as a pet and wish to breed her later, so there may be some sort of recall provision.

Personally, I don't have a problem with people buying a pet, so long as its from a reputable breeder. We ended up adopting our dog via a rescue, but also explored the possibility of purchasing one in the past.

[melmel48]

You can definitely find a kitten at a shelter who will love you. Mine are all over me. Ask if you can take some of them out and hold them. I have always had shelter animals and they all love their Mama. There are cats out there who are very independent and not cuddly at all. Play with the kittens, snuggle with them and kiss them. At least one, if not more, will attach to you

[ESF]

Jan 21, 2013 13:38:04 GMT -5 cuadrado said:

If you are so concerned with the pet ring affectionate towards you, are you sure you want a cat?

Seriously.
 
What are you going to do if the Burmese cat doesn't lick your face every night?

I'm not going to flame someone for considering obtaining an animal from a responsible breeder per se, but if your reason for doing so is "I want a cat that will love me back," well, I can't help but roll my eyes.

There's no guarantee that any cat you get will be unrelentingly affectionate for their entire 20 years on this planet.  If you aren't prepared to roll the dice, you probably shouldn't get one.

[rubytue]

I feel even stronger about cats and breeders than I do dogs. I would never get a dog from a breeder, but I understand those who do. But cats I just don't even get that. Sure, there are show cats, but its not like they are bread for hunting, herding, or anything.

Come kitten season, there will be kittens in all the shelters. And I would bet you could still find a very loveable, personable kitten. Just like you will be able to find the aloof, crazy kittens. But that said, I would try to find a slightly older cat (maybe about a year) b/c their personality will be more obvious. We got both our cats as kittens, and I don't think their adult personalities were that similar to their kitten personalities. Bugsy was a very mean kitten and cat, until we got a kitten (when Bugs was about 2). Then she became the most loving kitty. We think she realized she could be replaced lol Gandy was a very playful kitten, but is very aloof and scared of everything as an adult. She is one of those cats you wouldn't like. She only likes to be petted when SHE wants to be petted, and that is not very often. But we love her anyway.

[Deleted]

Thanks everyone for the honest replies! 

I always assumed foster families had to have a history of caring for pets - this would be our first (although my boyfriend did have cats growing up and we had a lab). Would a shelter trust us to foster given that we have 0 history as adults?

Jan 21, 2013 13:41:52 GMT -5 @cse1960 said:

you cannot seriously think that only breeder cats are friendly? what is your basis for this?

That's not what I said at all.

[goaskalice]

Having grown up with cats my whole life - my mom liked to have 3 at a time so I've lived with A LOT of cats - they are so hit or miss for cuddling.
We rescued our current cats (you can see them in my sig) as little babies. They are siblings and both grew up being cuddled and loved on. The tortie girl is the most cuddly cat we've ever had, she must constantly be on a lap. Her brother on the other hand is the picturesque aloof cat. He cuddles on his on time only. I had a cat that looked just like him as a kid and that was the cuddliest male cat I've ever had. So, unfortunately there are no guarantees.

[guv1120]

I have a burmese who I got when he was a kitten (six weeks) from a "breeder"...Yes he is friendly, but he is not nearly as affectionate as the stray I adopted from the shelter. My burmese would rather hang out by himself in another room (usually the spare bedroom), while my stray is always on my lap when I'm sitting or sleeping.

HTH, Long-time lurker

[Deleted]

I think you're actually better off adopting an adult cat with a known personality than a kitten. Kittens are all playful little babies. Whether they grow into affectionate cuddle monsters or assholes is more a function of genetics than anything - I've had a LOT of cats, as my parents are irresponsible farmers that just let nature happen with the cat/kitten cycle on the farm. Some of them are born lovers, and some are born haters, and no amount of socialization can really change a hater into a lover. And the kittens of the lovers tend to be lovey.

It's really easy to figure this out by asking at a rescue. We got exactly what we wanted by adopting an adult (black, short hair, male, moderate attention lover but mostly content to be on his own). I did NOT want a total attention whore cat, as I get sick of being sat on and purred at. My mom has one of those, though, and it's not a purebred anything. Just a cat the LOVES everyone.

[emilyinchile]

I know more about dogs, but I do think it's responsible to research breeds and get an idea for generally which breeds will work best with your lifestyle. That said, I can't believe that there's only ONE breed of cat that's affectionate, and as others said, individual animals have their own personalities. Rather than deciding you need this specific breed, could you consider a range of more affectionate breeds and try going to a couple of shelters to see if you click with any of the kittens they have available?

Although if you really want something super friendly, I think you want a dog.

[scout8]

If you want an affectionate cat, then I think you are better off getting one from a shelter. That way, you will be able to see the temperament before you adopt. Some cats are much more affectionate than others and I don't think it has much to do with raising one from a kitten. If you go to a shelter, you will be able to get a good feel for how affectionate of a cat it will be.

[KaraOrNot]

I would never get a cat from a breeder. 

Go to a shelter and explain your wants.  They intereact w/ them daily and will can help find a cat that is friendlier (note I said friendlier - even my super snuggly cat has times when he wants to be alone).  Also, see if you can foster before adopting.

I would also recommend a slightly older cat.  We got our grey cat as a kitten and she was super friendly and snuggly.  Now that she is older, she doesn't like to be touched at all and runs away if you try.  With an older cat, you may get a better picture of their personality.

[Deleted]

@beagle I think that would be a great option for us then! thank you.

[Deleted]

Cuddly cats are overated anyways. I used to cuddle Mr. Wiggles as a kitten. Now he howls beside the bed every night until I let him on the bed and by the time I wake up in the morning he's usually sprawled out between me and DH. I have to get a king size bed because of this fucking cat. I've even tried beating him with a pillow. No dice.

[Heisenberg]

Have you ever had a cat before?

Just curious because my cats have ALWAYS been affectionate with me (on their terms: they come to me when they want to be petted, they follow me around, sit/lay next to me, sometimes on my lap if I'm lucky, lol.) but other people's cats are always kind of standoffish towards me. I'm thinking if you've only ever experienced the latter portion of that, I can see where you are on the fence about the wonderful world of cat ownership.

I'd say your best bet would be to adopt a kitten, unless you're really set on having a specific breed. Kittens are great anyways, and everything is brand new for them, so it won't take as long for a baby kitten to get used to you as it would an adult cat.

as far as finding a reputable breeder--could you google breeders in your area?

[rachelgreen]

Tell you what, take the 3 hour trek north to my place and I'll take you to our local Humane Society.   

I've adopted all 3 of my cats (1 has since passed) from them and all have been nothing but the sweetest, super loving, attached at the hip, hilarious cats I've ever come in contact with, and I've had many cats growing up. They play in bath water, fetch, come when called, greet at the door, etc.

Our shelter has personality profiles for each animal that is in their system. They rate everything you are looking for. It might not be 100% accurate but it's close in my experience. I'm sure other shelters out there do something very similar. Plus, to make this MM....many shelters (mine included) run kitten and cat specials where they are basically free. Our latest adoption was in September and he only cost $30 to have him microchipped, neutered, and vaccinated.

[squirrely]

I also wanted to add that you might consider getting two. Two cats were NOT our original plan, but we fell in love with one cat from an adoption place who had been with a non-litter 'sister' for over 2 years.

My SO absolutely would not split them up, so we adopted them both and it makes me feel so much better knowing that they have each other during the day while we work or go on weekend trips. I really think that they are more social and independent for having each other around.

The extra cost really is minimal, but we haven't required major vet visits for either.

p.s. the one I originally didn't care for (she had hissed at me, but it turns out she was just terrified of the dogs nearby) is currently curled up on my lap and the other wedged in between me and the couch

Good luck on finding a new fur-baby!!!

[Velvetshady]

Jan 21, 2013 13:33:36 GMT -5 tacom said:

I KNOW, I KNOW. So many don't have homes. It's awful. I can't think about it. 

BUT...
I also know my limitations. I am not someone who can love something unconditionally if the person/animal couldn't care less about me.

Then don't get a freaking pet. Or have a kid. Really.


Unless you are really wanting to get into Cat Shows or breeding yourself, don't get a cat from a breeder. They can't promise you what their personality will be like either. Please don't just stick your head in the sand and pretend that thousands of cats aren't looking for homes, and are just products/goods some is trying to make a profit off of.

Find a local rescue or SPCA, volunteer to foster, when you find the cat that exhibits the behaviors you want adopt it. That is truly the only way you will know what the cat's personality is like. There is a Burmese Rescue group. They might not have kittens but they will more likely be able to tell what cats personality really is, rather than what it might be someday.

The sweetest, most-loving cat we've had is one that DH found on the side of the road as a kitten, that was ~24 hours or less from dying from an intestinal bug. Not only is he plain domestic shorthair, he was born as a feral cat.

[daydreamer]

I know this seems counter intuitive, but adopting a slightly older kitten, say 6 months old, from a foster home may be a better bet for you. The kitten will have had a good early kittenhood, will still be kitten playful, but their personality will be clear by then. It's a lot harder to predict adult personalities among the 8 week old kittens because they are all pretty friendly at that point.

Something that non cat owners don't realize is that cats respond to social interaction or lack there of. If you come home and ignore your cat, the cat will ignore you, but if you interact socially with you cat, the cat will respond in kind, well within the context of its personality.

[awkwardpenguin]

Jan 21, 2013 13:46:06 GMT -5 tacom said:

Thanks everyone for the honest replies! 

I always assumed foster families had to have a history of caring for pets - this would be our first (although my boyfriend did have cats growing up and we had a lab). Would a shelter trust us to foster given that we have 0 history as adults?

I did foster-to-adopt with a kitten and I hadn't previously fostered any animals.  The situation was a little unique (there was the possibility the kitten needed thousands of dollars in medical treatment), but I think you might be able to find a foster situation.

In my experience, cats you get as kittens become very attached to their "primary" caretaker.  So as long as you are the one who feeds her, pets her, brushes her, etc, I don't think there's much chance she won't love you back.  American shorthaired cats (aka mutt kittens from a rescue) tend to have very easy temperaments.  When the kitten jumps up on your lap or next to you, make sure to pet it and try not to disrupt the petting/snuggling too soon, or they learn you don't really want them up on your lap.

[karinothing]

Umm. Just go to a shelter. Pay with the cats, find one that is cuddle and like 2 years old. If that cat is 2 years old and cuddly at a shelter it will be fine.

Or go to a rescue and say you want a friendly cat. Folks are already fostering the cats they will know if they are friendly. It really isn't that hard.

[Kore]

Please don't There are so, so many kittens killed everyday. I know kittens are insanely cute, but it doesn't matter if you hand-raise them from birth; they aren't like dogs in that sense. They grow into specific personalities regardless. The best way to guarantee a friendly cat is to find one a little older--5 or 6 months--that's living in a foster home. They will know that cat's personality, and can tell you if it's affectionate & friendly by that point. After fostering so many cats in the past year, their personalities became apparent to me quickly. But kittens change a ton. Even a hand-raised kitten can turn into a bitchy, standoffish cat. And a cat who was neglected can be the sweetest thing ever.

[Brie]

Jan 21, 2013 13:48:51 GMT -5 @tokenhoser said:

I think you're actually better off adopting an adult cat with a known personality than a kitten. Kittens are all playful little babies. Whether they grow into affectionate cuddle monsters or assholes is more a function of genetics than anything - I've had a LOT of cats, as my parents are irresponsible farmers that just let nature happen with the cat/kitten cycle on the farm. Some of them are born lovers, and some are born haters, and no amount of socialization can really change a hater into a lover. And the kittens of the lovers tend to be lovey.

It's really easy to figure this out by asking at a rescue. We got exactly what we wanted by adopting an adult (black, short hair, male, moderate attention lover but mostly content to be on his own). I did NOT want a total attention whore cat, as I get sick of being sat on and purred at. My mom has one of those, though, and it's not a purebred anything. Just a cat the LOVES everyone.

ITA with this.

We adopted both our cats as young adults (they were between 1-2 years old) and we knew exactly what we were getting into with each of them.  One is sort of a cranky asshole but we love him.  The other is the type to jump into your lap and start purring the minute you sit down.  When I volunteered at a shelter, kittens were pretty indistinguishable from one another personality-wise aside from looks (except the extreme outliers, like ferals).

[Deleted]

I adopted my two cats at 6 months old from a foster family. They were left in a dumpster with their brother (whom the foster family ended up loving so much they kept!). They're mixed breed, at least partially Turkish Van, and so incredibly snuggly. We joke they're more like dogs...they watch at the window for us, play fetch, and sleep on the bed.

I got to spend some time with them before deciding since the foster family was our neighbor and close friend. The cats had pretty obvious personalities at that point and have grown even more affectionate with age (they're almost 4 now).

Bottom line, just spend some time with the cats you're choosing from, and shelters or fosters can be great helps with that.