Is it OK to be annoyed about this? (mom related question)

[LoveTrains]

So I am posting on MMM because I don't have children and I am not sure if I can be annoyed about this or not.

I flew out to visit my sister, her husband and her my niece (her daugher) for a few days. When I left, my sister made me take a cab to the airport (cost me $60) because she didn't want to take the baby in the car. My flight was after baby's bedtime and she didn't want to disrupt the routine. I was not aware that I would have to do this until a few hours before we needed to leave for the airport. 

FWIW, my flight was a red eye so I wanted to leave for the airport at 8 pm. I would have left hours earlier and just spent the time hanging out at the airport if it meant it would save me $60. I would have happily had her drive me at say, 5 or 6 pm so as not to disrupt bedtime. 

[rikki]

Whenever I visit people (even family) I try to make their lives as easy as possible. I would have offered to take a cab in the first place. Bundling up a baby for any unneeded trip doesn't sound like a lot of fun. I take a lot of cabs though so $60 in a cab ride is not a big deal in my realm of cabs. However, I get where you're coming from and it would have been nice to know in advance!

[pamela]

I'd be annoyed, because one of them should have stayed with baby and the other took you or they should have paid for the cab. That's what I do at least. Or at the very least, told you earlier and therefore you had the option of them taking you earlier.

Heck, I'm making DH take a slightly more expensive flight home (on the company dime) because I'm not getting baby out of bed at 11pm to pick him up. Or telling company they have to pay for the cab ride for him.

[electricmayhem]

As a parent who tries to protect DS's sleep at all costs--and as someone whose entire family is OOT and only accessible by plane--I think you absolutely have a right to be annoyed. She should have been very clear up front (like, even before you arrived) in letting you know that you would be on your own for return transport if it wasn't before a certain time.

[cjeanette]

Why couldn't her H stay home with the baby while she took you or vice versa? I don't really understand being so militant about a schedule. I have gone to pick up friends from the airport with and without the kids after bedtime. NBD.

[LoveTrains]

Oh her daughter is 10 months old if that helps. 

[LoveTrains]

H was traveling out of town for business. He is generally gone Mon - Thurs for business.

[mie]

I would have been annoyed that she didn't discuss this with you beforehand.

[madringal]

I would be super annoyed and it takes a lot for me to get mad at my sisters. Why couldn't her DH or your mom take you if she had to stay home with the baby?

[Willis Jackson]

I think she should have told/driven you ahead of time and/or offered to pay for the cab.

[h]

I personally would have either left the baby with my H and taken you to the airport or, if he was not available, just taken the baby along. But if the bedtime issue was that big a deal to them, they should have at least given you a heads up earlier in the weekend.

[madringal]

It woun't let me ETA - I misread the OP to say that your mom was there too.

[Deleted]

I would have expected to be responsible for my own transportation from and to the airport, kid or no kid. Particularly if the airport is far enough away to entail a $60 cab ride... that's a big inconvenience for your host! But on the other hand, if she picked you up when you arrived, that maybe set a precedent? But more than anything else, I think it is a shame that there was a misunderstanding because the topic didn't come up (right?).

Your plane ticket was free, right? So all is not loss MMness-wise.

[LoveTrains]

Mar 20, 2013 13:10:49 GMT -5 madringal said:

I would be super annoyed and it takes a lot for me to get mad at my sisters. Why couldn't her DH or your mom take you if she had to stay home with the baby?

Well our mother lives thousands of miles away from where she lives, so that is a non-issue. I flew across the country to visit my sister, who is always begging me to come visit. She is the one who moved thousands of miles away and to the opposite coast from our entire family. Since moving out west, she has not once flown back specifically to see me or stay with me. I live about a 5 hour drive north of our parents. 

[ssmjlm]

I would be annoyed. The least she could have done was mentioned it beforehand and just said "hey would you mind checking in earlier, it would be easier on the baby schedule wise?" I would be miffed that she didn't even talk about it beforehand.

Is your sister usually like this?

[LoveTrains]

Mar 20, 2013 13:13:12 GMT -5 v said:

I would have expected to be responsible for my own transportation from and to the airport, kid or no kid. Particularly if the airport is far enough away to entail a $60 cab ride... that's a big inconvenience for your host! But on the other hand, if she picked you up when you arrived, that maybe set a precedent? But more than anything else, I think it is a shame that there was a misunderstanding because the topic didn't come up (right?).

Your plane ticket was free, right? So all is not loss MMness-wise.

"free" in that I used up all the FF miles that I have ever earned in my entire life on US airways. They actually only live about 20 minutes from the airport and its a major metropolitan area. That isn't really that far away in terms of cabs. Unfortunately there is no good public transit or else I would have taken that. 

[Deleted]

I have a kid that goes bonkers if her nighttime sleep schedule is disrupted (she has always been a terrible napper so we really do live and die by her bedtime), so I get not wanting to keep the baby out late. I would discuss that prior to a guest's arrival, though, or even find a neighbor to sit at home with the baby while I took you to the airport. The bedtime thing is not necessarily unreasonable IMO, but springing "you have to take a cab" on you at the end is.

[LoveTrains]

Mar 20, 2013 13:13:41 GMT -5 ssmjlm said:

Is your sister usually like this?

It is her way or the highway - always. I am probably letting this color my view of the incident. Plus she and her H make about 5x as much money as me and H make. 

[rootbeerfloat]

I personally wouldn't have had a problem throwing a 10m old baby in the car, but I think she should've communicated this to you sooner, so you could've offered to go earlier and save the cab fare.

[cinco]

Mar 20, 2013 13:10:53 GMT -5 Willis Jackson said:

I think she should have told/driven you ahead of time and/or offered to pay for the cab.

Yep.

[madringal]

Mar 20, 2013 13:13:29 GMT -5 LoveTrains said:

Mar 20, 2013 13:10:49 GMT -5 madringal said:

I would be super annoyed and it takes a lot for me to get mad at my sisters. Why couldn't her DH or your mom take you if she had to stay home with the baby?

Well our mother lives thousands of miles away from where she lives, so that is a non-issue. I flew across the country to visit my sister, who is always begging me to come visit. She is the one who moved thousands of miles away and to the opposite coast from our entire family. Since moving out west, she has not once flown back specifically to see me or stay with me. I live about a 5 hour drive north of our parents. 

[vanillacourage]

Mar 20, 2013 13:10:53 GMT -5 Willis Jackson said:

I think she should have told/driven you ahead of time and/or offered to pay for the cab.

Agree. I would not have been able to personally take you to the airport in that scenario, but I would have gone through the options with you ahead of time.

ETA - it doesn't excuse her, but if she and her DH make a lot of money maybe they don't see a sudden need for a $60 cab fare as a big deal that would have to be discussed ahead of time or worked around.  In that case she's just completely out-of-touch vs. just being a bad hostess.

[ECB]

I definitely think she should have talked to you about this, and with your updates, I more understand your frustration.

But I too am pretty protective of DSs sleep. And on the flip side- I've dealt w/ a high-maintenance "it's my way or the highway" GUEST before, so to a degree, my response is colored too.

However, at a minimum, expecting to be told "just an FYI, I can't take you to the airport after )___" would have been courteous.

[Ashley&Scott]

I understand & can respect not wanting to disrupt bedtime routines. However your sister should have discussed the options with you ahead of time, not dropped it on you the night you left. I'm still confused why her DH or even your mom couldn't drive you though...

[LoveTrains]

Mar 20, 2013 13:33:40 GMT -5 Ashley&Scott said:

I understand & can respect not wanting to disrupt bedtime routines. However your sister should have discussed the options with you ahead of time, not dropped it on you the night you left. I'm still confused why her DH or even your mom couldn't drive you though...

Her H was traveling (he is out of town for work generally M - Thurs) and our mother lives thousands of miles away from where my sister lives. My mother doesn't live in the same general vicinity of either of us. 

[Ashley&Scott]

That makes sense. Still she should have given you a heads up.

[Deleted]

Oh man, I would be completely annoyed. Your sister should have warned you ahead of time about it.

[Deleted]

I've paid for some $80 cab rides between the airport and my brother's. We talk about stuff like this in advance, though, so it was never a surprise.

I say communication fail on both sides here.

[whitemerlot]

My grandmother always said that if you can't afford the cab ride to and from the airport, you can't afford to travel. It would be a huge pain in the butt to take my 10 month old out at bedtime to give someone a ride to the airport. I think you should have planned to take a cab and been pleased if she had offered an alternative.

[LoveTrains]

Mar 20, 2013 13:48:10 GMT -5 jenny1980 said:

Mar 20, 2013 13:14:34 GMT -5 LoveTrains said:

"free" in that I used up all the FF miles that I have ever earned in my entire life on US airways. They actually only live about 20 minutes from the airport and its a major metropolitan area. That isn't really that far away in terms of cabs. Unfortunately there is no good public transit or else I would have taken that. 

The light rail is actually a pretty great way of getting to Seatac. She should have offered to buzz you downtown (which would just take her a few minutes) and you could have caught it there.

I would def. be annoyed if she sprung the cab at the last minute. You should have given me a call--I would have picked you up. :-)

Yeah I did the light rail last time I visited and it was awesome - but no stations in her neighborhood, right? 

Next time I will take you up on that! Oh and we went to this awesome thai restaurant that I think might be not too far from you - it was called pestle rock or something like that.