Post by themoneytree on Mar 21, 2013 8:40:58 GMT -5
I hate when people arrive into airports late at night when the baby is in bed. I have picked up visitors several times after bed time and it has been a huge pain in the butt every time.
I think this was definitely a communication break down on both your parts and you could talk to her about next going early so you don't disrupt bed time. I wouldn't be mad though, just try and avoid it happening again.
Post by fortmyersbride on Mar 21, 2013 17:35:19 GMT -5
She should have given you the heads up that she could not drive you to the airport at that time, and let you choose between leaving earlier or taking a cab.
We've lived in 3 cities in the last 5 yrs. In the first we were 10 min from the airport and had just one kid. I always took guests to and from the airport no matter the time. But in the last 2 cities we've lived in we've been a good 45 min from the airport, with our second kid now being a holy terror if her sleep is disrupted. Depending on who is visiting, I just arrange for a rental car or car service to make things simpler and not feel guilty about not making the drive.
My mom kind of put us in a predicament like this the last time she visited. She flew in to an airport three hours away, despite the fact that I live within an hour of three major international airports. She then had my brother drive her here (instead of renting a car) and then he left, needing to be at work. She was flying out of the same airport two days later at 8 pm. She just kind of expected me to be willing to throw both kids in the car to take a six hour round trip culminating in northern Virginia traffic at rush hour so that she wouldn't have.to rent a car. I was pissed, but even then I bought her a train ticket and sent her on her way.
Team you. I think providing for your guest's transportation to/from the airport is part of being a good host. If I were your sister, I would have discussed it with you beforehand. I would not have disrupted bedtime, but I would have offered to get a sitter and take you to the airport.
FIL is arriving at 11pm one day next week, and MH will be working that night. When he told me the time, I told him that H was working and offered to get a sitter so I could come pick him up. He said not to worry, that he would happily take a cab. This is how I would have expected the exchange to go in your case, but your sister failed to point out the conflict in the first place.
My take-away from this thread is that apparently I am a crappy person for never offering to pay for people's cab rides to or from my home when they come to stay with me. The only people I ever go to collect directly at the airport (via cab or public transport myself) are my parents.
I just cannot imagine asking people to come visit me, spend goodness knows how much money to do so and then not have the common courtesy to offer to pay for their cab if I could not drive them to/from the airport myself. Like, it really boggles my mind. I sure as shit would avoid travelling to see them ever again. It's not about not being able to afford it. It's just rude for the host not to do it- especially when close family is involved.
My take-away from this thread is that apparently I am a crappy person for never offering to pay for people's cab rides to or from my home when they come to stay with me. The only people I ever go to collect directly at the airport (via cab or public transport myself) are my parents.
I just cannot imagine asking people to come visit me, spend goodness knows how much money to do so and then not have the common courtesy to offer to pay for their cab if I could not drive them to/from the airport myself. Like, it really boggles my mind. I sure as shit would avoid travelling to see them ever again. It's not about not being able to afford it. It's just rude for the host not to do it- especially when close family is involved.
I offer them a free place to stay and cook most meals for them in a city where both hotels and food are really expensive. I plan sight-seeing itineraries for them and take time away from my work to show them around. Most people who visit me are thrilled to have those perks and have never acted like I am being rude by not handing them a 50 Euro bill as soon as they get out of the cab at my doorstep.
As a parent who tries to protect DS's sleep at all costs--and as someone whose entire family is OOT and only accessible by plane--I think you absolutely have a right to be annoyed. She should have been very clear up front (like, even before you arrived) in letting you know that you would be on your own for return transport if it wasn't before a certain time.
I just cannot imagine asking people to come visit me, spend goodness knows how much money to do so and then not have the common courtesy to offer to pay for their cab if I could not drive them to/from the airport myself. Like, it really boggles my mind. I sure as shit would avoid travelling to see them ever again. It's not about not being able to afford it. It's just rude for the host not to do it- especially when close family is involved.
I offer them a free place to stay and cook most meals for them in a city where both hotels and food are really expensive. I plan sight-seeing itineraries for them and take time away from my work to show them around. Most people who visit me are thrilled to have those perks and have never acted like I am being rude by not handing them a 50 Euro bill as soon as they get out of the cab at my doorstep.
That sounds like they were coming for a vacation and you offered your place which is totally different from the OP. I'm talking about the OP's scenario in which she was asked to make a special trip out just to see her sister.
I agree that in big cities with good public transportation and bad traffic, guests should expect to get themselves to/from the airport.
I can get behind this. My gut reaction to not taking a guest to the airport is "WTF," but public transportation is practically nonexistent in my city. In a city where it's standard, it's totally reasonable.
In LT's case, I find it very weird that her sister didn't bring it up earlier, giving her the option to go to the airport prior to the kid's bedtime.
I agree that in big cities with good public transportation and bad traffic, guests should expect to get themselves to/from the airport.
Reading this thread was beginning to make me think maybe I was crazy and a terrible host. I do run into problems with my non-city relatives packing as if a weekend trip requires their full wardrobe and ending up with 50 lb suitcases on the El, and my stop doesn't have an elevator. But in that case, I meet them on the platform and help them with their bags.
Maybe it's because I'm a full time public transportation rider with a car that I use about every other week. My wife and I don't drive each other to the airport.
I understand her not wanting to disrupt her baby's sleep but I definitely think she should have given you a heads up. And a choice- "I can take you to the airport at 5pm or you can take a cab at 8pm."
I think she was in the wrong for not communicating it to you ahead of time. If she picked you up from the airport, it was fair for you to assume she would also drop you off. As a parent, I don't assume that non-parents think of these kinds of scheduling issues. If she had let you know in advance, you could have arranged for a cheaper airport shuttle, been dropped off early, etc. I have a toddler and we have frequent houseguests. As a host, I make sure my guests are informed of my schedule and give them advice for times when they are on their own for transportation/sightseeing.
I couldn't imagine being either party, and not discussing this a few days in advance.
I never assume anyone, even family, will drive me to/from the airport. I always square those details away before visiting. Same goes for when we host family. Any details that may impact me (driving to airport, or getting myself a cab) are at the top of my list.