Yeah she should have told you ahead of time. I'm assuming she knew what time your flight home was. Maybe she doesn't blink an eye at a $60 cab ride if they make so much $?
My night is hell if we don't do ds's night routine and get him to bed by 7:30. Like he and I are up all night long so I get that (DS is 9mo). But if I had a visitor I would let them know I need to drop them off and be home by 7 or they can take a cab. If I really liked them, I may live with one horrible night of sleep.
Post by mollybrown on Mar 20, 2013 14:32:49 GMT -5
I think the only problem was that lack of warning, and that she didn't offer to drop you off early.
I would not disrupt the nighttime schedule for my children to take someone to the airport. However, if someone had come to visit me, I would have paid for the cab. I see it as my responsibility as host to get people to the airport if they visit (assuming we aren't hosting out of obligation, and I actually invited them to visit). I do not hold other people to this standard.
I would be annoyed if i was you. $60 is a lot! We are on a very strict schedule but I would have changed it for a good friend or family member that was coming to visit me.
Depends which airport. My father won't drive me to either of the NJ airports but he'll happily take me to La Guardia. DH's parents never pick us up at Kennedy or Newark despite living close to both. Once they ordered us a car service but then made us pay for it. If you were visiting me I'd take you no problem because the airport is 10 minutes away. Either way she should have told you in advance.
I would have expected to be responsible for my own transportation from and to the airport, kid or no kid. Particularly if the airport is far enough away to entail a $60 cab ride... that's a big inconvenience for your host! But on the other hand, if she picked you up when you arrived, that maybe set a precedent? But more than anything else, I think it is a shame that there was a misunderstanding because the topic didn't come up (right?).
Your plane ticket was free, right? So all is not loss MMness-wise.
I agree with this, exactly. You've mentioned the neighborhood in which your sister lives, and it's a solid 45-minute drive to the airport in typical traffic. I also wouldn't want to take my baby along on that round trip at bedtime, because guaranteed he'd fall asleep on that ride... meaning it'd be so difficult to get him down for bed when we returned home. That said, yeah, if she had picked you up I would have assumed she'd drop you off, as well.
I wouldn't disrupt bedtime at this point, BUT I would have offered to drive you early, or offered to split the cab with you. It totally sucks that she just sprung it on you like that.
Why couldn't her H stay home with the baby while she took you or vice versa? I don't really understand being so militant about a schedule. I have gone to pick up friends from the airport with and without the kids after bedtime. NBD.
Ditto. And at that age, my kid slept easily in the car so it really wouldn't have been a problem.
My take-away from this thread is that apparently I am a crappy person for never offering to pay for people's cab rides to or from my home when they come to stay with me. The only people I ever go to collect directly at the airport (via cab or public transport myself) are my parents.
Were you there for several days? Did she put your niece down at the same time everything you while you were there?
To me it sounds like a miscommunication. She probably though you'd realized that she wasn't willing to go out late and you probably didn't quite pick up on it since not everyone is very protective of their kids sleep. I am and I wouldn't have woken or kept a my kids up to drive you. I would have offered to pay for your cab though.
Post by karinothing on Mar 20, 2013 17:05:25 GMT -5
Hmm, when I am visiting family I usually ask if they can take me to the airport and pick me up at my desired times before I booked the flight. If you did ask her and it was fine and then later it wasn't I would be annoyed, otherwise poor planning on my part for assuming.
Hmm, when I am visiting family I usually ask if they can take me to the airport and pick me up at my desired times before I booked the flight. If you did ask her and it was fine and then later it wasn't I would be annoyed, otherwise poor planning on my part for assuming.
Yes I cleared the flight times with her before hand.
I would have expected to be responsible for my own transportation from and to the airport, kid or no kid. Particularly if the airport is far enough away to entail a $60 cab ride... that's a big inconvenience for your host! But on the other hand, if she picked you up when you arrived, that maybe set a precedent? But more than anything else, I think it is a shame that there was a misunderstanding because the topic didn't come up (right?).
Your plane ticket was free, right? So all is not loss MMness-wise.
I agree with this, exactly. You've mentioned the neighborhood in which your sister lives, and it's a solid 45-minute drive to the airport in typical traffic. I also wouldn't want to take my baby along on that round trip at bedtime, because guaranteed he'd fall asleep on that ride... meaning it'd be so difficult to get him down for bed when we returned home. That said, yeah, if she had picked you up I would have assumed she'd drop you off, as well.
No way, it was 20 minutes in the cab door to door.
My take away from this is that I will always clarify exactly what before booking my plane tickets.
However I just chalk this up to another instance of the world revolving around her, which it does. Honestly everyone in my family is afraid of ever disagreeing with her. Like, terrified of her temper.
It really depends on the kid. Mine was pretty high needs, but at 10 months I could put him in jammies for a R/T to the airport around bedtime. DH traveled a lot back then and his flights to Europe often meant getting to the airport at bedtime.
When I visit my parents, they won't come to the airport. I generally rent or take a van service. DS went to see them after Christmas and they wouldn't even get him- their only grandson.
I am a Mom who lives and dies by her kids schedule. However I let everyone know what I can/ cannot do well in advance. I would be pissed she didn't give you options, and dropped it in your lap last minute.
Personally I have taken DS to the airport way past his bedtime. The only time I asked my mom to find alternate arrangements is when she came in at 2am and I had to work the next morning. I would have gone if I hadn't had to wake up my DS (DH works all night). My mom isn't even visiting me when I pick her up, she just parks at my house because she is two hours from the airport an I'm thirty minutes.
She should have given you a heads up way before if she couldn't have driven you to the airport. Personally if I had family visiting that needed to get to the airport I would gladly pick them up and drop them off no questions asked and wouldn't have worried about putting baby in the car. Mine would have fallen asleep and stayed asleep most of the ride at that point.
I'm kinda shocked that people don't drive their family/friends to the airport. It seems weird to me for someone to visit you, but you expect them to make their way to and from your house in an area that's foreign to them. I understand that in some cities it's difficult to get in a car and drive somewhere, but in most places, this seems really odd to me. My friends and I also drive each other to/from the airport to save on parking when we're going on vacation.
I'm really protective of DD's sleep, but I would have either sucked it up for one night and put her in the car, or asked a friend to stay at my house with DD while I drove you. Worst case, I'd have let you know well in advance and I would have offered to pay your cab fare.
I'm kinda shocked that people don't drive their family/friends to the airport. It seems weird to me for someone to visit you, but you expect them to make their way to and from your house in an area that's foreign to them. I understand that in some cities it's difficult to get in a car and drive somewhere, but in most places, this seems really odd to me. My friends and I also drive each other to/from the airport to save on parking when we're going on vacation.
I'm really protective of DD's sleep, but I would have either sucked it up for one night and put her in the car, or asked a friend to stay at my house with DD while I drove you. Worst case, I'd have let you know well in advance and I would have offered to pay your cab fare.
I think it depends on where you live. When I lived in Cleveland it was easy to get to the airport and there were no tolls on the way, so I always did pick-up/ drop-off. Now that I live in NYC it is a whole different ball game. When you factor in traffic a round trip can take a couple hours, plus when you account for round trip tolls, it gets pretty pricey. Picking someone up from the airport can easily cost just as much as them taking a cab. In regards to OP's dillema, I think the sister should have told her the situation ahead of time.
I'm kinda shocked that people don't drive their family/friends to the airport. It seems weird to me for someone to visit you, but you expect them to make their way to and from your house in an area that's foreign to them. I understand that in some cities it's difficult to get in a car and drive somewhere, but in most places, this seems really odd to me. My friends and I also drive each other to/from the airport to save on parking when we're going on vacation.
I'm really protective of DD's sleep, but I would have either sucked it up for one night and put her in the car, or asked a friend to stay at my house with DD while I drove you. Worst case, I'd have let you know well in advance and I would have offered to pay your cab fare.
I think it depends on where you live. When I lived in Cleveland it was easy to get to the airport and there were no tolls on the way, so I always did pick-up/ drop-off. Now that I live in NYC it is a whole different ball game. When you factor in traffic a round trip can take a couple hours, plus when you account for round trip tolls, it gets pretty pricey. Picking someone up from the airport can easily cost just as much as them taking a cab. In regards to OP's dillema, I think the sister should have told her the situation ahead of time.
I know, which is why I said that I understand it's different in some cities where it's difficult to drive somewhere. Seattle is not one of those cities.
I think it depends on where you live. When I lived in Cleveland it was easy to get to the airport and there were no tolls on the way, so I always did pick-up/ drop-off. Now that I live in NYC it is a whole different ball game. When you factor in traffic a round trip can take a couple hours, plus when you account for round trip tolls, it gets pretty pricey. Picking someone up from the airport can easily cost just as much as them taking a cab. In regards to OP's dillema, I think the sister should have told her the situation ahead of time.
I know, which is why I said that I understand it's different in some cities where it's difficult to drive somewhere. Seattle is not one of those cities.
Unless you are coming from Kitsap which you have to either take a ferry across or use the Tacoma narrows which does have a toll. I live on one of the islands and I still would take the time and spend the money to pick up and take someone to the airport if they were visiting me.
This would never have happened in my family or with my friends. In my life, when someone comes to visit you, you do everything you can to make it easier/cheaper for them. I have an airport 20 minutes from my house, but I've driven an hour and 15 minutes each way to pick up/drop off friends from the cheaper airport. I think your sister was wrong in this case and should have made arrangements to get you to the airport. I guess it is partly your fault for not clarifying the timing for her to bring you to the airport (like that morning you could have asked "What time should we leave for the airport tonight?") but I think she should have offered to take you earlier or made other transportation arrangements if she couldn't take you.
I get that this is not normal in a city like NYC where people presumably don't drive much, but I think anywhere that driving is the norm, the person you are visiting should offer transportation.
I'd be pissed about $60. Not scream at my sister pissed, but really bummed out. That may not be much to some people, but that's a good chunk of my monthly spending money.
Post by awkwardpenguin on Mar 21, 2013 1:00:14 GMT -5
My family lives 45 mins to an hour from the closest airport. I always clear ride plans with them ahead of time, including the flight times. One of my family members always comes to get me, but there are no public transit options. Same when I lived in Michigan - I always picked people up/dropped them off, because the alternative was a $40 shuttle. If I couldn't do the pickup/dropoff for whatever reason, I would have told them when they booked the flight, or paid for the shuttle if it was last minute.
When there are public transit options, I pretty much always consider it the responsibility of the guest to travel to/from the airport on their own, within reason. When I visit my friends in Seattle, they drive me to/from the light rail. When people come here, I meet them at the subway stop near my house. In Chicago, it would never occur to me to do anything but take the blue line to get to/from O'Hare. NYC, Boston, and SFO I always take public transportation.
In summary, it depends, but it should always be worked out ahead of time and I think you were totally reasonable to assume you'd get a ride back if she had picked you up.
I would be annoyed if I hadn't been told ahead of time if the usual protocol is that I get picked up and dropped off at the airport. I also don't think I would make someone pay $60 to get to the airport in this case. It is one night and if it made the night a little more difficult for me, I'd just deal. This is assuming I liked the person and if they were visiting me, I assume I do.
Sleep is a precious commodity here, so I absolutely would do everything to not disrupt bedtime. That said, it was inconsiderate of her not to let you know ahead of time what your transportation options were
Hmm, when I am visiting family I usually ask if they can take me to the airport and pick me up at my desired times before I booked the flight. If you did ask her and it was fine and then later it wasn't I would be annoyed, otherwise poor planning on my part for assuming.
Yes I cleared the flight times with her before hand.
I would be pissed. She should have told you that she wouldn't be able to drop you off when you booked your flight.
I admit this is one of my hot buttons because my ILs refuse to pick us up from the airport when we visit them. We now visit them a lot less.