And the "Kids at Sparky's wedding" story goes on...

[sparkythelawyer]

So, here's the backstory (most of it anyway, I forgot I deleted the OP.).  Long story short, I do not want kids at my reception.  I am throwing a kick ass party for kids in another room.  One cousin and his wife decided "Fuck what the people actually PAYING for the reception want, we're bringing our baby.)

pandce.proboards.com/thread/159898/another-round


'memba how I was concerned my older sister will be a douche about bringing her kid?  And seeing this kid at the reception will just piss her off and I will suddenly have two kids there? Which also makes me look like a jackass to everyone else who was kind enough to either find childcare of their own or take their kid to the kiddie party?

Guess who just sent her RSVP in?  For three people?  (Her, her husband, said 4 year old child).

I anticipate sparky's older sister being a giant douchenozzle about this in 5...4...3...2...

Thank Heavens for Chardonnay...

[ralphlauren]

Yuck. Why are people so lame about this?!?!

It is your wedding and you decided who is invited!

[Marle]

:drink: :drink: :drink:

[muffin0]

Apr 10, 2013 22:50:09 GMT -5 nicbreeful said:

"Oh, great.. You RSVPed.. So, I have you and YH down for the reception and 4 year old for the kiddie party. Fantastic!"

this exactly. Act oblivious.

[sparkythelawyer]

mofongo, I've emailed my dad and my younger sister. My dad is paying for the reception (*gasp! ML Flameful!*) If he wants to pay way too much for my nephew to eat one chicken finger and two french fries and not sit still, and not behave, because he's FOUR, and four year olds don't exactly rock at that stuff, than I will just bite my tongue and deal, because she will be such a pain about this if I push it. I wouldn't put it past her to punish my Dad about it by not letting him see her son.

I just don't get what goes through people's minds when they're all "Fuck you, Imma do what I want" on this stuff. Le sigh.

At the end of the day, I will be married to the guy I can't wait to grow old with, and I will have a great time. Even if I have to hit my older sister over the head with my shoe first ;-p

[emsumm]

Lol, I just thought of you today! We got the invite for a very close family friend's wedding. Ceremony at 3, Reception at 6, all downtown. No kids. I have no idea what to do...It would cost over $200 in babysitting, and the girls don't do well with virtual strangers at bedtime. Whyyyyyy don't they have a sparky-style kid's party?

[sparkythelawyer]

Apr 10, 2013 22:55:15 GMT -5 emsumm said:

Lol, I just thought of you today! We got the invite for a very close family friend's wedding. Ceremony at 3, Reception at 6, all downtown. No kids. I have no idea what to do...It would cost over $200 in babysitting, and the girls don't do well with virtual strangers at bedtime. Whyyyyyy don't they have a sparky-style kid's party?

Dude, kids' parties are where it's AT.

[Jermys]

The Sprky Kid Party is the greatest idea ever. Ev-er. I would kill for something like that at a wedding.

[sparkythelawyer]

Apr 10, 2013 22:55:15 GMT -5 emsumm said:

Lol, I just thought of you today! We got the invite for a very close family friend's wedding. Ceremony at 3, Reception at 6, all downtown. No kids. I have no idea what to do...It would cost over $200 in babysitting, and the girls don't do well with virtual strangers at bedtime. Whyyyyyy don't they have a sparky-style kid's party?

Psh, @jermys and I will totally tag team sit for your girls.  We reserve the right to act like high school babysitters, however, and eat too much junk food, paint our nails, and run up your phone bill :-)

[emsumm]

Lol, done and done.
Wait, though. Now I just want to stay home and babysit, too.

[flex]

When's your wedding again? Will you and jermys be able to squeeze in a GTG with me next week?

[sparkythelawyer]

Apr 10, 2013 22:55:15 GMT -5 emsumm said:

Lol, I just thought of you today! We got the invite for a very close family friend's wedding. Ceremony at 3, Reception at 6, all downtown. No kids. I have no idea what to do...It would cost over $200 in babysitting, and the girls don't do well with virtual strangers at bedtime. Whyyyyyy don't they have a sparky-style kid's party?

And shit girl, how much do babysitters make these days?  I was making $5.50 an hour in high shcool and thought I had it MADE.

flex, wedding is not until May 11.  AND YES PLEASE WE NEED TO HANG OUT AGAIN!  When are you free?

[urbancowgirl]

Doesn't your sister realize that her son would have a lot more fun at the kids' party? I think a 4-year-old would be bored out of his mind at an adults-only reception.

[ECB]

I hate to find any justification in this, but at least with it being your nephew, hopefully the other guests won't care.

I don't care if DS isn't invited, but I can't lie that if I saw other kids on the same "level" as him, I might wonder "why?".  I wouldn't be upset, per se (because, honestly, I might make the choice to not bring him even if he was invited!).  But if an actual child family member where there, I wouldn't think twice about it.

[ECB]

Apr 11, 2013 9:03:03 GMT -5 urbancowgirl said:

Doesn't your sister realize that her son would have a lot more fun at the kids' party? I think a 4-year-old would be bored out of his mind at an adults-only reception.

YES!  This.  DS would LOVE a kids party.  A wedding would be a fricking bore.

But I'm guessing that either her sister feels he has to be w/ her at all times OR (or maybe AND) because he's family, he's special and should "of course" be at the actual reception - where the important people are.  Even though kids could care less.....

[sparkythelawyer]

Apr 11, 2013 9:08:18 GMT -5 ECB said:

Apr 11, 2013 9:03:03 GMT -5 urbancowgirl said:

Doesn't your sister realize that her son would have a lot more fun at the kids' party? I think a 4-year-old would be bored out of his mind at an adults-only reception.

YES!  This.  DS would LOVE a kids party.  A wedding would be a fricking bore.

But I'm guessing that either her sister feels he has to be w/ her at all times OR (or maybe AND) because he's family, he's special and should "of course" be at the actual reception - where the important people are.  Even though kids could care less.....

You're pretty much spot on here, ECB.  Her kid goes EVERYWHERE.  He will be five in July.  He has never seen the inside of a pre-school, daycamp, etc. He is totally undersocialized, and its starting to show.  But he's special, don't you know, and should never be required to go elsewhere.

I adore my nephew.  He is the sweetest little guy, and a nice kid, and a lot of fun.  But there is a time and a place for everything, ya know?  Ugh. 

[candreco]

Poor kid.

As the proud owner of my very own four year old, I can guarantee that he will be miserable, which will make HER miserable. And she'll probably blame you for having an evening reception, sit down dinner, etc. I don't understand why parents do this to themselves, it's not good for them or their kid.

[rex]

Your sister is being dense.

Your separate kids only party is genius and I would love that at a wedding especially with a toddler!

Your only hope here is that the kid learns about the kid party and wonders why he doesn't get to be with all the other kids. Because he will want to once he knows.

[thebamker]

I'd just like to add that I have been at some kidless weddings that still had a kid or two who were directly related to the Bride/Groom. Like niece/nephew or the kids in the wedding party. It didn't bother me one bit. I was just happy to be having fun without my own kids. ha.

Don't worry so much Sparky.

If YOU really don't want one 4 y/o and one 9 m/o at your wedding - by all means - put your foot down... but don't worry about what everyone else will be thinking. It just really doesn't matter. I bet they will be like me - just happy to not have their kids in tow.

good luck!

[sparkythelawyer]

Apr 11, 2013 9:42:53 GMT -5 thebamker said:

I'd just like to add that I have been at some kidless weddings that still had a kid or two who were directly related to the Bride/Groom. Like niece/nephew or the kids in the wedding party. It didn't bother me one bit. I was just happy to be having fun without my own kids. ha.

Don't worry so much Sparky.

If YOU really don't want one 4 y/o and one 9 m/o at your wedding - by all means - put your foot down... but don't worry about what everyone else will be thinking. It just really doesn't matter. I bet they will be like me - just happy to not have their kids in tow.

good luck!

Thanks, Bam.

I guess I'm just worried that other parents will be pissed that 'So and so's kid' is there but "their preshus little angel" was "not allowed."  I feel like I tried to the right thing here and got slapped around anyway.  I'll stop being a grump about this shortly. 

[flex]

It is rude of your sister to act this way, but are you surprised?? lol

Bam's right--you can worry too much about how you think people are going to perceive this. If anyone asks you about it, just roll your eyes and say something like "she chose to ignore my request, so what can ya do? FAMILY!!"

[sparkythelawyer]

And my Dad just came up with the politest way he could to tell me to suck it up and deal with it and to not make waves.

I can't wait to marry my guy. I am so lucky that I even GET to marry him, when by all rights I very seriously could have buried him a year and a half ago. My wedding will be beautiful and I will have a great time.

But I'm a bit over the stupid peripheral crap that goes along with this stuff...

[cleo29]

Apr 11, 2013 11:32:40 GMT -5 sparkythelawyer said:

And my Dad just came up with the politest way he could to tell me to suck it up and deal with it and to not make waves.

I can't wait to marry my guy. I am so lucky that I even GET to marry him, when by all rights I very seriously could have buried him a year and a half ago. My wedding will be beautiful and I will have a great time.

But I'm a bit over the stupid peripheral crap that goes along with this stuff...

Listen, I am not about bridezilla behavior (which you are not doing) but why should you have to suck it up when it is your wedding? This makes no sense to me. I cannot imagine inviting my kid to a wedding. My sister gave me a hard time about my nephews not being invited to the reception,but turns out they were pretty tired by the end of the cocktail hour and they wanted to go up to the hotel room.

I get not wanting to make waves, but your sister is acting like a selfish jerk and I will bet good money she will end up taking him to the kid party or trying to get someone else at the wedding to  mind him. I welcome the chance to enjoy a meal without my kids. lol

[ECB]

Apr 11, 2013 11:32:40 GMT -5 sparkythelawyer said:

And my Dad just came up with the politest way he could to tell me to suck it up and deal with it and to not make waves.

But isn't your sister making waves?  Why does it fall to you to be the peacekeeper here and not her? 

[amberlyrose]

Your day, your rules.
I can't believe people would even think to do this.

[sparkythelawyer]

Apr 11, 2013 13:01:30 GMT -5 ECB said:

Apr 11, 2013 11:32:40 GMT -5 sparkythelawyer said:

And my Dad just came up with the politest way he could to tell me to suck it up and deal with it and to not make waves.

But isn't your sister making waves?  Why does it fall to you to be the peacekeeper here and not her? 

Short story?  Becuase she's my dad's child from his first marriage, she's always been a crazy pain in the ass, but she's his kid, and he just won't tell her no.  He won't say that, but that's what it is. 

[joyfull]

But he will tell you no basically by telling you to suck it up? That's bs. I'm sorry.

[ECB]

Apr 11, 2013 13:21:18 GMT -5 sparkythelawyer said:

Apr 11, 2013 13:01:30 GMT -5 ECB said:

Short story?  Becuase she's my dad's child from his first marriage, she's always been a crazy pain in the ass, but she's his kid, and he just won't tell her no.  He won't say that, but that's what it is. 

Grrrr.  Well, all I can say is good luck.  And seriously- I really don't think most people will think YOU did anything wrong when your sister shows up w/ her kid.  They'll think either "Oh- he's family" or they'll think "I can't believe her sister brought her kid when she knows there is a room for him!". 

[sparkythelawyer]

Apr 11, 2013 13:30:14 GMT -5 ECB said:

Apr 11, 2013 13:21:18 GMT -5 sparkythelawyer said:

Short story?  Becuase she's my dad's child from his first marriage, she's always been a crazy pain in the ass, but she's his kid, and he just won't tell her no.  He won't say that, but that's what it is. 

Grrrr.  Well, all I can say is good luck.  And seriously- I really don't think most people will think YOU did anything wrong when your sister shows up w/ her kid.  They'll think either "Oh- he's family" or they'll think "I can't believe her sister brought her kid when she knows there is a room for him!". 

My Dad is a great man, someone I truly look up to, respect and admire.  And I think he feels a whole bunch of guilt where she is concerned. 

Amusingly, what folks will likely think is, "Oh, its her.  Well, what can you expect."  This type of thing, from her, won't shock many.  Which is a comfort. 

[derp]

Apr 10, 2013 22:53:24 GMT -5 sparkythelawyer said:

I just don't get what goes through people's minds when they're all "Fuck you, Imma do what I want" on this stuff. 

People like her think they can keep getting away with their atrocious behavior because people like you keep letting her.