Post by BunnyMacDougal on May 2, 2013 22:57:47 GMT -5
Strangely enough, this was H's friend from law school I was texting with today who went into some marital drama stuff and told me not to tell "even H".
He's driving up here from a few states away sometime soon and will probably tell H about it then. That's what they do, go on excursions and talk life.
This is the first time this man has said anything like this to me before. It came up as a topic of regular conversation that things were tense and I told him I'd be happy to offer my ear/thoughts.
So, tell H or not? (All ready told H I was texting with the guy and about the unrelated stuff we talked about. Just left out the drama talk.)
Post by BunnyMacDougal on May 2, 2013 23:04:42 GMT -5
See? I almost told H for this reason. And I think when friend brings it up to H when he's here and H seems versed in it, it will be no big deal.....and I *think* the "don't tell H" was just like a reflex.....
Yup, I always tell. I can't keep anything from him. And the only secret he's kept from me was when he was going to propose. He can't keep anything to himself.
Post by EllieArroway on May 2, 2013 23:31:24 GMT -5
There has only been one time that someone specifically told me not to tell H and I didn't. But I always have to tell SOMEONE, so depending on what it is I will tell either my H, my sister, or my BFF.
No. If someone tells me not to tell anyone (including H), I don't. It's important to me that my friends feel like I am an independent ear, rather than a package deal with my H.
ETA: And if I had a friend who told all of my secrets to their spouse, I would stop confiding in them.
Post by CheshireGrin on May 3, 2013 0:38:44 GMT -5
My XMIL used to try to stir up drama by "confiding" things in me (usually over-dramatized versions of XFIL's health issues that imagined him to be pretty much at death's door) and then telling me not to tell XH "because it would upset him."
But in your case where friend will be able to tell him in person soon, I wouldn't. Maybe theguy wants a day or two free of drama for fun and then will lay the news on H.
No I don't unless it directly involves him DH is bad about saying something about things that he isn't supposed to know and it's just easier to keep him out of the loop. In this case I'd probably respect the friend's request.
Post by daisybuchannan on May 3, 2013 6:52:33 GMT -5
Yup! Lol.
EXCEPT 2 instances. My SIL told me all "lalala" nonchalant that at her bachelorette party she kissed a guy bc it was her last night of being single. What? You're not single, ding dong!! AND the time she told me to think about marrying my H (her BIL) bc even though he makes good money, he doesn't come from money. WTF.
In your situation, I would not tell. Your friend wants to tell your DH himself, in person. Honor that.
Past that -it depends on what the information is, who it's coming from, and do I think DH should know. Also, sometimes if I'm told something that I'm just like "WTF? I can't talk about this, w/ anyone!?" - I know I can tell DH and we'll be all WTF about it together. But we respect that we're both each others "last stop", so to speak.
Honestly, in most cases I probably do/would tell DH. Specifically because we really do keep it between us and no one else. But at the same time, there are situations (like yours, OP) where I wouldn't talk.