Post by underwaterrhymes on May 4, 2013 11:21:48 GMT -5
IMO, (and provided you are not married to an asshole) you create your own "epic romance." There are things you can do to make your marriage fun and exciting. Granted it does take more effort than with someone new, but it can be so much more fulfilling.
You obviously aren't seriously thinking about leaving your husband if you're upset with 05heels for advising you to do what you say you want to do so bad.
I am literally laughing at your whole "I need my life to be one big stupid Nicholas Sparks novel!" attitude. Life isn't The Notebook, mmkay?
You obviously aren't seriously thinking about leaving your husband if you're upset with 05heels for advising you to do what you say you want to do so bad.
I am literally laughing at your whole "I need my life to be one big stupid Nicholas Sparks novel!" attitude. Life isn't The Notebook, mmkay?
Nicholas Spraks with a touch of 50 Shades of Gray. You know, candles and long walks that conclude with a little manhandling. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK FOR!!??
You are all right, (except for 05heels who is just a bitch)... The truth is, I really am happy with my husband, and my love for him is real. I just wish every fucking book I read, or every movie I saw, didn't have these grand sweeping love scenes. Yes, total fiction and maybe I'm just a dreamer, but I read/see these and can't help but feel like I'm missing out on some epic romance.
That shit is called fiction for a reason.
And it's also what happens at the beginning of a relationship. Happy-ever-after is all well and good and sweeping love scenes are awesome, but none of it is real life. In real life, Cinderella is kind of a frigid bitch, the prince is a control freak, and they spend the next ten years trying to figure out why they married in the first place. lol.
You need to stop reading romance novels. Like fucking whoa. Romance novels are fun, but they're not real fucking life any more than The Wizard of Oz is a biography. And if you're honestly looking to them as some kind of model for how your life should be, you're going to end up missing out on all the good things you already have.
If you put in the effort to your own relationship that you're putting into fantasizing about the other - you could have a good relationship with your H.
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agreed.
do what you can to fix the relationship you have. if, after your best efforts, you're still unhappy, divorce, and then you can pursue something else.
You obviously aren't seriously thinking about leaving your husband if you're upset with 05heels for advising you to do what you say you want to do so bad.
I am literally laughing at your whole "I need my life to be one big stupid Nicholas Sparks novel!" attitude. Life isn't The Notebook, mmkay?
Nicholas Spraks with a touch of 50 Shades of Gray. You know, candles and long walks that conclude with a little manhandling. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK FOR!!??
SO MAKE IT FUCKING HAPPEN!
Don't put the onus on him to change things. If you want candles, long walks, and manhandling, then put out some candles, take him on a long walk, and manhandle the shit out of him.
You obviously aren't seriously thinking about leaving your husband if you're upset with 05heels for advising you to do what you say you want to do so bad.
I am literally laughing at your whole "I need my life to be one big stupid Nicholas Sparks novel!" attitude. Life isn't The Notebook, mmkay?
Nicholas Spraks with a touch of 50 Shades of Gray. You know, candles and long walks that conclude with a little manhandling. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK FOR!!??
You are getting less and less sympathetic, and your taste in books is atrocious.
Grow up, or don't. I don't especially care. But knock it off with the helpless act. It's not cute.
You knew the answers before you posted. Now that ML has beat it into you, do what you need to do. Grow the fuck up and put some fucking effort into the relationship you already have.
You obviously aren't seriously thinking about leaving your husband if you're upset with 05heels for advising you to do what you say you want to do so bad.
I am literally laughing at your whole "I need my life to be one big stupid Nicholas Sparks novel!" attitude. Life isn't The Notebook, mmkay?
Nicholas Spraks with a touch of 50 Shades of Gray. You know, candles and long walks that conclude with a little manhandling. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK FOR!!??
YES because those are (awful, awful) "novels". If you want what you're reading about, let your husband at least know of your unrealistic expectations, but to resent him and want to be with someone else because he's not sweeping you off you feet then spanking you, is not fair. Plus, how much Nicholas Sparks do you think you'll have with a man in the military, he's going to be gone at least a year. Will you go looking elsewhere for satisfaction while he's gone?
You obviously aren't seriously thinking about leaving your husband if you're upset with 05heels for advising you to do what you say you want to do so bad.
I am literally laughing at your whole "I need my life to be one big stupid Nicholas Sparks novel!" attitude. Life isn't The Notebook, mmkay?
Nicholas Spraks with a touch of 50 Shades of Gray. You know, candles and long walks that conclude with a little manhandling. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK FOR!!??
You obviously aren't seriously thinking about leaving your husband if you're upset with 05heels for advising you to do what you say you want to do so bad.
I am literally laughing at your whole "I need my life to be one big stupid Nicholas Sparks novel!" attitude. Life isn't The Notebook, mmkay?
Nicholas Spraks with a touch of 50 Shades of Gray. You know, candles and long walks that conclude with a little manhandling. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK FOR!!??
Seriously! Lucy Honeychurch, she's all yours! :throws arms up in air; stomps out of room in exasperation::
You obviously aren't seriously thinking about leaving your husband if you're upset with 05heels for advising you to do what you say you want to do so bad.
I am literally laughing at your whole "I need my life to be one big stupid Nicholas Sparks novel!" attitude. Life isn't The Notebook, mmkay?
Nicholas Spraks with a touch of 50 Shades of Gray. You know, candles and long walks that conclude with a little manhandling. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK FOR!!??
what the fuckety fuck?
you have a child, yet you are acting like you're 16. grow up. you won't get this with any guy, not long term anyway.
Post by sherbanator on May 4, 2013 12:32:33 GMT -5
I only read your op, none of the replies but I don't think you are totally fucked..yet. Just cut off contact. How would you feel if the shoe was on the other foot and yOur husband was on the cusp of doing something shady? Have an ounce of respect for him and stop talking to the other guy. You say you love your husband but actions speak louder than words.
I read historical fiction guys. So what I need to know is why I'm not married to Prince William? Surely he is going to leave Kate and marry me, right? My husband is nice but he isn't ROYAL. You will all be welcome at court once my dreams come true. Some of you may get beheaded, sorry. I didn't write the books, I have no control over it.
So how do I stop dreaming of my other life in my head?
This really stood out to me. You don't have an "other life." You have one life. And choosing to live it pining over a fantasy with another guy is disrespecting your DH and your marriage. You may love your husband but your current actions are not loving towards him.
Stop all contact with this other man. Stop viewing your DH as a roadblock and instead see him as a teammate. Work together to fulfill your mutual desires. And invest your energy in making your life with DH and your child amazing.
I know I should cut off contact with him. I seriously 100% know that, and if I were any of you ladies I would say the same thing... but...
I don't want to. I want to keep talking to him.
Its a horrible feeling to want to do something you know would hurt your husband and family.
You cannot have your cake and eat it too. If you do in fact, love your husband and want to stay with him, then STOP all communication with this guy. I mean 100% of it. Facebook. text messages, phone calls , everything. You need to make dammed sure this is as far as it goes, if you want your marriage and family intact.
I don't think your a bad person, shit happens. I don't necessarily see anything wrong with just fantasizing, however, your post leads to be believe you want it to go beyond there, because you openly call yourself a home wrecker and you state you are falling in love with this man. How would you feel if your husband was the one doing this?