Post by dumbaelalalaaaa on May 13, 2013 22:34:25 GMT -5
(mostly a lurker, but my normal screename is connected to other things)
Would it bother you if someone you were considering pursuing a serious relationship with wasn't 100% straight? Has been with another man within the past year and is admittedly attracted to both sexes.
Um, yeah this would bother me. I would not be comfortable. I think I'd always worry that he'd change his mind or get bored with me. I'd be worried I wouldn't be enough for him and I don't think I could deal with that kind of rejection.
I would take any serious relationship really slow because it would be new to me having a bisexual partner. I think it would be harder to read some situations that arise like a night out with the guys. But I wouldn't rule out ever being in that relationship.
Um, yeah this would bother me. I would not be comfortable. I think I'd always worry that he'd change his mind or get bored with me. I'd be worried I wouldn't be enough for him and I don't think I could deal with that kind of rejection.
This happens with "100% straight" people too........
To be rejected for another woman I could deal with. To be rejected for a man would be worse to me. I don't know why, it just would. Probably because there is nothing I could do about it. And also because I knew ahead of time it as a possibility and made myself vulnerable to it. There are enough straight men out there. Why risk a broken heart for THIS guy?
i guess I also don't believe that just because he says he wants a girl now, that he's not really just gay and confused.
Um, yeah this would bother me. I would not be comfortable. I think I'd always worry that he'd change his mind or get bored with me. I'd be worried I wouldn't be enough for him and I don't think I could deal with that kind of rejection.
I think this is where I am right now.
He's a really amazing guy but this is my one hesitation.
Sexuality doesn't affect monogamy. Some experimentation in the past is fine with me. However, I'd prefer a partner who had focused on women for a while. Someone who saw his life partner as being a woman. I'd like at least a 60/40 attraction split in my favor.
At the end of the day, with all the progress that has been made there is still homophobia and barriers for gay people. I'd be worried some of it was internalized and he was trying to make things work with me because it's easier than following his true heart.
20 years ago when gay adoption was frowned upon by many and gay marriage was a dream, I would have been even more wary. Today I think it still can pay a role. Perhaps our culture will change further and by the time I'm 60 it won't matter.
This happens with "100% straight" people too........
As if there is such a thing.
It's silly to worry that he's really gay and just hasn't fully come out yet. Straight guys come out all the time, too. But you take their word for it when they tell you who they're attracted to, right?
Sexuality doesn't affect monogamy. Some experimentation in the past is fine with me. However, I'd prefer a partner who had focused on women for a while. Someone who saw his life partner as being a woman. I'd like at least a 60/40 attraction split in my favor.
At the end of the day, with all the progress that has been made there is still homophobia and barriers for gay people. I'd be worried some of it was internalized and he was trying to make things work with me because it's easier than following his true heart.
20 years ago when gay adoption was frowned upon by many and gay marriage was a dream, I would have been even more wary. Today I think it still can pay a role. Perhaps our culture will change further and by the time I'm 60 it won't matter.
No, I wouldn't rule out a relationship. I might be a little more cautious at first, until I was positive that he was being genuine re: his attraction, and it wasn't a passing "hey, I'd like to try this again" fancy.
Given what I am going through right now, no, I wouldn't date someone who is bisexual.
Moving on from the fact that my husband cheated on me with a guy has been awful and the healing process has just begun.
Dealing with a cheating spouse is hard on its own, but adding in the fact that your spouse cheated with someone of the same sex adds an entire new dimension to it.