How are you still single?

[achase123]

Worst.question.ever.  Maybe I was just overly sensitive but it seemed HIGHLY insulting.  I don't think people mean it to be that way, but I took it that way for sure.

[starburst604]

God I always hated that question. I know people thought it was a compliment but I hated it. It implies that if you're a good catch you shouldn't be single. Being a good catch means you are looking for an equally good catch and that doesn't just materialize when we want it to!!!

[Muddled]

Compliment or not, it's dumb.

And, really, how the fuck are you supposed to respond?

[bullygirl979]

HATE that question. I also had a guy ask me once "how are you not married?" like that is the end all, be all. I then told him that I was....and am divorced

[mcc]

It's obnoxious. My answer is generally something like "Because I can't seem to get away from obnoxious people who ask stupid questions"

[kaneen]

Gah! I always hate that question too. I always wanted to respond, "Because being single is infinitely better than being with someone not good enough for me...and to be good enough for me someone has to be utterly fantastic."

[naeljun]

I get it all the time too. My answer usually is I haven't found anyone worthy of me.

[Deleted]

I got that all the time and couldn't stand it when I was single.

[Muddled]

May 22, 2013 11:23:46 GMT -5 @boing said:

yes! HATE. I usually respond with something really smartass, like "oh, I have a bad habit of killing people in their sleep. Makes it hard to be in a relationship."
I know they're trying to compliment me...but pointing out my failures is not a compliment.

Ok, see, this is the problem.

Not being married or not being in a relationship is not a failure.



I guess if you want to think of it that way, you can. But I just don't. Being single has a million advantages.

P.S. I like your response, mp.

[Wrath0fKuus]

It sounds more like "how did you manage to elude all your eager suitors?" to me.

[bowies]

Oh. I always took it as a compliment. As in, "I cannot believe my good fortune that an awesome person is on a date with ME and not someone else."

But then, I tend to take a lot of comments as compliments.

[Wrath0fKuus]

May 22, 2013 11:49:05 GMT -5 bowies said:

Oh. I always took it as a compliment. As in, "I cannot believe my good fortune that an awesome person is on a date with ME and not someone else."

But then, I tend to take a lot of comments as compliments.

When they're said to you, they always are.

[jojoandleo]

It seems to imply there issue thing wrong with you, like you must have some secret fault because only faulty people are single. Like you can't have made a choice.

I like "there are still too many dicks I haven't tasted yet to choose just one!"

[djb71]

I asked that question to my ex-wife on like our 3rd date and I will never ask that again. Not because she hated it, just because you don't know the circumstances behind why they are single. It sounded right at the time, but now it just sounds immature and dumb.

[bowies]

May 22, 2013 11:53:43 GMT -5 Wrath0fKuus said:

May 22, 2013 11:49:05 GMT -5 bowies said:

Oh. I always took it as a compliment. As in, "I cannot believe my good fortune that an awesome person is on a date with ME and not someone else."

But then, I tend to take a lot of comments as compliments.

When they're said to you, they always are.

Thanks Kuus!

[jade28]

May 22, 2013 11:49:05 GMT -5 bowies said:

Oh. I always took it as a compliment. As in, "I cannot believe my good fortune that an awesome person is on a date with ME and not someone else."

But then, I tend to take a lot of comments as compliments.

Me too haha. I get why it can be viewed as an insult if you want it to be. But eh I choose to believe people aren't out to be insulting and to respond defensively or rudely seems to be unnecessary to me. I just say I know I am awesome and I am happy being single. No guy has ever argued with that.

The truth of the matter is, although all of us on here view singledom as a great thing, alot of people don't. I personally view single as a wonderful phase in life and a great way to live life. I have been most successful during my single days. I loved being single and never viewed it as a failure or bad....but a lot of girls do. Every one of my girlfriends takes it as some personal failure instead and hate that they are still single and wonder why they are and if they meet a single guy they wonder why the guy is still single b/c only failing people are single and something must be wrong. It sucks but that is the mentality alot of people have.

[jm5855]

I have never been asked this question. What in the hell does that say about me!!! LOL

[BookLover]

My response is, "Because, I don't want to be tied to an idiot like you..." Ok, not really but I think it. Generally I say, because I like being single and being with someone will tie me down. I actually like being a single mom. There is no one to butt in and try to undermine me. (The ex did.)

[TEM325]

This question is right up there with:

"Have you met anyone yet?"
"Are you dating?"
"Have you tried online dating?"

WTF, leave me alone! Mind your own business! When I meet someone who's special and we're in love, you will know, people!

[emma245]

I take it as a compliment typically but if the tone is weird or they keep digging insinuating there is a problem, I just say because I wont settle duh. That usually shuts people up.

[bowies]

May 22, 2013 12:17:21 GMT -5 jade28 said:

May 22, 2013 11:49:05 GMT -5 bowies said:

Oh. I always took it as a compliment. As in, "I cannot believe my good fortune that an awesome person is on a date with ME and not someone else."

But then, I tend to take a lot of comments as compliments.

Me too haha. I get why it can be viewed as an insult if you want it to be. But eh I choose to believe people aren't out to be insulting and to respond defensively or rudely seems to be unnecessary to me. I just say I know I am awesome and I am happy being single. No guy has ever argued with that.

The truth of the matter is, although all of us on here view singledom as a great thing, alot of people don't. I personally view single as a wonderful phase in life and a great way to live life. I have been most successful during my single days. I loved being single and never viewed it as a failure or bad....but a lot of girls do. Every one of my girlfriends takes it as some personal failure instead and hate that they are still single and wonder why they are and if they meet a single guy they wonder why the guy is still single b/c only failing people are single and something must be wrong. It sucks but that is the mentality alot of people have.

I guess it's a companion piece to "All the good ones are taken or gay."  Which is a fallacy, as we all know.

[GilliC]

I would assume it was a compliment, and if I recognized that it wasn't, I would probably respond with, "I just really don't want to make the same mistake twice."

[lyssbobiss, Command, B613]

May 22, 2013 11:58:39 GMT -5 jojoandleo said:

It seems to imply there issue thing wrong with you, like you must have some secret fault because only faulty people are single. Like you can't have made a choice.

I like "there are still too many dicks I haven't tasted yet to choose just one!"

I'm stealing this.  I'll give you credit, though.

[winecat]

May 22, 2013 11:58:39 GMT -5 jojoandleo said:

It seems to imply there issue thing wrong with you, like you must have some secret fault because only faulty people are single. Like you can't have made a choice.

I like "there are still too many dicks I haven't tasted yet to choose just one!"

Want to know where my mind went with this?  

Fun Dip for Dicks!    

[doriswe]

May 22, 2013 12:20:34 GMT -5 jm5855 said:

I have never been asked this question. What in the hell does that say about me!!! LOL

That's because it's really obvious why you were single

[mcc]

May 22, 2013 13:57:02 GMT -5 doriswe said:

May 22, 2013 12:20:34 GMT -5 jm5855 said:

I have never been asked this question. What in the hell does that say about me!!! LOL

That's because it's really obvious why you were single

Pleated pants!!!

[jm5855]

May 22, 2013 13:57:02 GMT -5 doriswe said:

May 22, 2013 12:20:34 GMT -5 jm5855 said:

I have never been asked this question. What in the hell does that say about me!!! LOL

That's because it's really obvious why you were single

HEY!!!  There are a lot of single dude gingers with 4 kids...ok maybe not a lot...but there are a couple.

[jojoandleo]

May 22, 2013 12:17:21 GMT -5 jade28 said:

May 22, 2013 11:49:05 GMT -5 bowies said:

Oh. I always took it as a compliment. As in, "I cannot believe my good fortune that an awesome person is on a date with ME and not someone else."

But then, I tend to take a lot of comments as compliments.

Me too haha. I get why it can be viewed as an insult if you want it to be. But eh I choose to believe people aren't out to be insulting and to respond defensively or rudely seems to be unnecessary to me. I just say I know I am awesome and I am happy being single. No guy has ever argued with that.

The truth of the matter is, although all of us on here view singledom as a great thing, alot of people don't. I personally view single as a wonderful phase in life and a great way to live life. I have been most successful during my single days. I loved being single and never viewed it as a failure or bad....but a lot of girls do. Every one of my girlfriends takes it as some personal failure instead and hate that they are still single and wonder why they are and if they meet a single guy they wonder why the guy is still single b/c only failing people are single and something must be wrong. It sucks but that is the mentality alot of people have.

Yes, but why should you have to EXPLAIN why you are single? Should coupled people have to explain why they are coupled? Why is it anyone's business? Why even ASK that? It makes zero sense and seems to think coupled is superior to singled which is just horseshit. So, Guess I am just not a happy and upbeat person. I can live with that.

Who wants to join me at the "rude and defensive" table?  I have a lot of snarky one liners I can share!  And wine.  Rude people need wine! 

[achase123]

Well coupled people always get "so when are you going to get married" if not married yet.

If married they get "when are you going to have children?" Assinine questions seem to abound no matter what your relationship status is. People are idiots sometimes.

[lookingup]

May 22, 2013 14:40:57 GMT -5 inara said:

It bothers me, but I don't think people intend it to be rude. I think it has more to do with the value our society puts on being married with 2.5 kids and a white picket fence with a dog in the yard. It's really a never ending thing. When you're single it's "how are you still single?" then it's "aren't you guys ever going to get married?" then "when are you going to start having kids??" People just expect a specific life trajectory for "normal" people.

I'm on this side. But if a guy asked me this question, I would pretty much think we were incompatible.