Which family are you closer with?

[kdrake8]

I was having an interesting convo with my team at work. 

One person said that if you have a son, they are "yours" until they get married. Then they are always with the daughter's family... On holidays, weekends, visits, etc. 

I strongly disagree with this. Both our parents live 20 minutes from us. They live 5 min from each other. We are ALWAYS at my in laws. They watch M two days a week and we are still there every single weekend. Every holiday. Etc. 

My parents watch her once a week. Other than that, we see them most holidays and maybe once every 1-2 months or less. 

So, which family are you closer to?

[TrudyCampbell]

Both/neither. We see both families every 6 weeks or so and holidays out of obligation.

[skwcm80]

His - my mom lives in Nigeria, and his mom visits from CA at least once a year.

[lauranicole91]

Mine. My parents are way more fun. Haha.

ETA we live about 15mins from both sets so its not out of convenience, it's based on personality.

[orriskitten]

Mine, but soon it will be DH's family. I wish everyone lived on the same continent. I'd be curious to see but i'm pretty sure DH's family would show up more.

[unclejesse]

The IL's, but purely because we live 10 minutes from them.

[Regina Philange]

Mine, but H's live far away.

[kcsp910]

I would say we are pretty equal. We try to see both families on holidays if we can, if not, we are normally with mine. His family doesn't "do" holidays as a big family like mine does.

We live very close to my family and about 20 minutes away from his family. My parents tend to do their own thing, so we see them every few weeks. My IL's and my sisters are the only ones that have babysat C. We've asked my mom a couple of times, but she's always too busy.

[mala]

We are about an hour from both, but see mine at least weekly. H's mother passed away just before our first wedding anniversary and his dad... well H doesn't really get along with him anymore. FIL has a really hard time relating to H and his sisters. MIL was really the glue that held the family together.

[silverjm]

MIL does our childcare so we see her several times a week, and FIL once or twice a month. The rest of his family we only see every couple months.

My parents are 1.5 hours away and my Bro is 45 minutes and we see them at least once a month. I wish we lived closer because we would definitely see them a lot more.

[SteelCity44]

Mine, but that's mostly because they make an effort to come over/visit/help us out. The only way we see my ILs is if we drive over to them. They are closer than my family, but they never.leave.the.house. They curse too much, smoke, and their house is dirty. My SIL lives there with her 2 kids and loser husband. My parents have seen Micah for the past 3 weekends because they babysat while we were at a wedding, they came over to help us pick up a storm door, and they'll babysit again so I can go to my principal's retirement dinner this weekend.

I have also heard that you lose your son but you never lose your daughter. And with my brother, they do tend to visit her family more often, but they still make a decent effort to spend time with our side of the family as well. I think it all depends on how crazycakes your family is. Ironically, my mother wanted us to completely drop MH's family when we got married, because he was supposed to lose his family with the marriage, but she never connected how hurt she is that my brother spends more time with his ILs than with her.

[Deleted]

His.

His family lives 25+ mins away. My family lives 5+ minutes away. But yet, I (we) see my family like, once every 2 weeks, and his a few times a week.

[tuck]

Our families live in the same town and hour and a half away. My mom makes the effort to drive down to us, so we see her more. When we go visit, the girls and I sleep at my mom's and dh sleeps at his parents' house. (there isn't room for all of us with his parents and my mom doesn't have internet.(

[mumegs]

This would be true for us, DH is always with my family for every holiday and everything. His family always brings the drama so I don't like hanging out with them unless I have to.

[fusion]

Mine, but only because my mom lives in town and MIL is out of states. MIL flies in every other month though and we rotate holidays. If MIL lived here we would see her just as often. I am for sure closer to my mom, but she sees my brothers all the time also.

And Jameson will always be mine. Always.

[carawestt]

Mine. Even though they live in another state and H's live 15 minutes away.

[jfh]

We're probably about equal. We share holidays between my dad & SM and his parents, and we spend a lot of non-holiday time with my mom.

[katie]

We see his parents more than mine. They always ask us to come over so we usually go, like every weekend. I usually see my parents every other weekend, sometimes just once a month. Usually I have to ask them if we can come over. They like to do their own thing, his parents want us there all the time. Oh and I don't like my ILs. His parents are 20min awaya and mine are 10min away.

eta: Which family are you closer with is not the same as who do you see more in my case.

[bebeetmoi]

Mine, definitely. The only reason my H even speaks to his family on a semi-regular basis is because I basically make him. 

[AndyCohen]

Hard to say, we see my mom more frequently, but we definitely see his parents for more time. They live in Paris, so when they visit they are usually in the city for a month at a time. But, they only visit once or twice a year. My family is in Buffalo so we usually go there for Thanksgiving and I go for Christmas and at least one other time in the year. It's annoying because I can't even handle over a week with my mom, but I have to do a month (at times a month and a half!!!) with his mom. At least they don't stay with us. If we moved we would have to let them stay with us.

[eav2c]

His - but it's because they are a mile (ugh!) down the road.

There is the saying that "a daughter is a daughter for life a son is a son till his wife." I totally disagree with this. Maybe it's from living in the south, but the guys here like cherish their moms. Andplusalso, Colin is going to be my very own Buster from AD!

[laurack]

Hubby's because his mom lives 20 miles from us and my family lives about 3,000 miles from us 

If we lived in Ireland I would probably see my family several times a week. We see MIL probably once a week on average, sometimes more. I think hubby should see his mom without me sometimes but this literally NEVER happens so any time he sees her I do too. Whereas if we lived around my fam I'd just go see them all the time on my own with the baby.

I like my MIL she's great, but I miss my own family so much. They would be way more helpful to us in terms of childcare, we'd probably have left her overnight a few times already by now and would be having date nights regularly. 

but then we'd live in ireland, land of perpetual rain and no jobs.

[skiesthelimit]

Definitely mine, because his are crazy. My entire family lives in town except my brother (X's Godfather) who lives 2 hours away. My mom is the only one who's ever babysat X. No one in DH's family has watched him. His dad, step mom and both sisters live out of town. His mom lives about 5 minutes from us but we never see her. We saw her at xmas, X's birthday and mother's day. His brother lives close to us and we see them a bit more frequently because they have an 8 month old son so we like to take X over to play. But that is like once a month.

[jaime183]

Mine but ours are both in Pennsylvania (we are in Oregon). We talk to my parents more often too though

[rxbeth]

We live about 10 minutes from my ILs and my Dad. We see the ILs more because they invite us over for dinner and make more of an effort, in general. But they are also retired and my Dad is not. If my Mom were alive, it would probably be more equal because I think she would put out more effort.

[spaghetticat]

His. My family is nuts.

[sunshineluv]

May 29, 2013 7:20:43 GMT -5 kdrake8 said:

I was having an interesting convo with my team at work. 

One person said that if you have a son, they are "yours" until they get married. Then they are always with the daughter's family... On holidays, weekends, visits, etc. 

I strongly disagree with this. Both our parents live 20 minutes from us. They live 5 min from each other. We are ALWAYS at my in laws. They watch M two days a week and we are still there every single weekend. Every holiday. Etc. 

My parents watch her once a week. Other than that, we see them most holidays and maybe once every 1-2 months or less. 

So, which family are you closer to?

Oh hell no. Henry is mine forevah!!!!!!

We are equally close to our families, good thing too, since they live in walking distance of each other (our parents).

[creamsiclechica]

May 29, 2013 8:16:58 GMT -5 bebeetmoi said:

Mine, definitely. The only reason my H even speaks to his family on a semi-regular basis is because I basically make him. 

This is us exactly!!

[The Foozzler]

We see both an equal amount. Our families live close to us and to each other. We split holidays between them and wind up having many of them at our house so we can both see our family. We are both close to our parents.

[teamhayes]

we see my mother every week but both my parents together only every month or so. they live 45 minutes from us but my mom helps out every friday so dh gets a day off and can do chores.

il's live 20 minutes from us. We see fil about 2x a month but dh probably sees him every week or 10 days. they talk on the phone alot. we don't see mil that much. long story.

i would say in total we are closer to my family. dh and my mom text and talk on the phone whereas I wouldn't feel comfortable doing that with his family.

since k has been born we combined thanksgivng and christmas and both sides celebrated at our house. we spent easter with my family.