Father's Day Flamefuls

[winnied]

I just have to get this out:

Everyone is posting pics on fb of them with their dads follow up with "Billy Bob is the best dad EVAR!!!!1!11"

And I just can't. I posted a pic of my dad and I because I'm a lemming but I can't say he's the best dad ever. He's a great dad, I love him very much, but he's not perfect. I confessed this to H and he felt the same way. Our dads don't even talk to us that much. Not because they are bad guys, they are just...distant.

Is anyone a terrible child? Anyone?

[CallingAllAngels]

I hate this on FB, mostly because my dad is dead. If I post a pic of him, I'm a lemming. If I don't, I don't properly honor his memory. I just want to ignore it and pretend Father's Day is just about my husband.

[lindyanne]

I feel the same way - although I know part of it is me. And my sister posted something! She is eight years older and has all these awesome memories of my dad and doing different things. My parents separated when I was four and although I saw him a lot I don't feel like I got the same awesome dad experience.

[glitzy07]

I don't really want to go see my dad today, but I feel obligated to at least stop by my parent's place because I did on Mother's Day.

My dad and I haven't had much of a relationship in years due to his alcoholism and he drives me crazy in more than just short spurts.

[LoveTrains]

I'm sorry that some of you don't have great relationships with your dads.

[niq]

I'm sure my sister won't say anything like that. I won't post "best dad ever" but he is a pretty good dad.

To blend in I post gifs on these days. On mother's day I posted condescending Wonka saying "So you think Mother's day is just another hallmark holiday? / Tell me the story of how you fed yourself from birth". Stuff like that.

Even on a tablet, I blame all wrong words in Swype

[winnied]

What also sucks about today is that our dads will spend time with their other children, because they live in the same town. So, automatically, H and I are the suckier children, as if already being liked the least in the first place wasn't enough.

[MrsE]

I purposely do not post Father's Day or Mother's Day posts for this very reason. My step dad is my Dad, but my bio dad is kinda in my life every once in a while ... and my Aunt (his sister) and cousins are my FB friends so it would be awkward to post anything.

ETA: My Mom is awesome, and is best worthy for sure, but if I posted a Mother's Day status I would have to (or feel like I'd have to) post a Father's Day one too,

[Deleted]

I love my dad, but I don't have to AW that fact on FB (particularly because he isn't on facebook -- but I didn't need to AW my FB-having mother on Mother's Day either).

I kind of hate FB on all occasions when people feel that they need to mass AW about things.

[cowboyjoe]

Eh, I didn't send mine a card or call. I spoke to him over Christmas so I figure that is enough for one year. He lives 10 minutes from me so I don't even have a good excuse.

[Deleted]

I'm still mad at mine.  I sent him a text this morning wishing him a happy father's day.  1st time I've had contact with him in almost 3 months.  I'm not posting a pic on FB.

[rubytue]

Jun 16, 2013 13:36:56 GMT -5 operagirl said:

I'm so sorry for you all. I posted before that my dad told me he just didn't love me when I was 14 (I must have inherited this unlovable-ness because I was adopted) and it affected my life for a very long time, even now. When he was dying, he said "I'm sorry if I ever hurt you" and "I love you" and I just walked out of the room. He's been dead for 15 years and I can understand he must have had his own demons (I was straight A, goody two shoes at 14 and he was 51), but how do you do that to a child? It's funny that the hardest thing was trying to find a Father's Day card that didn't actually say anything. 

So I feel bad for each of you that struggles with parent issues.  (My Mom was present and just sat there, so we were never close and then I had to take care of her for years.  I came to love her dearly.  But not my Dad.)

zombie hugs!  I feel the same way about my mother/Mother's Day.  It started at 14, too, when she told me it would be my fault if my father left her.  And it went downhill from there.  I spent years searching the card racks for mother's day cards that say nothing, but also can't be funny b/c she has the sense of humor of a gnat.  Mother's day doesn't have much on the humerus cards though.  At least Father's Day is full of have a beer, play some golf, go fishing, this dog just farted cards. 

I was a bit of a lemming about my father though.  He is pretty awesome (and no, it wasn't my fault they split )

[arch01]

My first tweet this morning was about this exact same thing. Pretty sure I'm the only one on my FB feed who hasn't posted something about my dad. He's not on FB, so it doesn't matter. On top of that, my dad isn't the best dad ever. It's a good thing we have a better relationship now than we did for the first about 28 years of my life... and I'm only 30.

[Willis Jackson]

Shit. I forgot to send him a card.

[cjeanette]

I am pretty lucky in the dad dept. Esp considering he chose to adopt me at 6. We just aren't mushy type people so a post on FB would be weird. He shows his love for me by doing things for me/ not ever questioning how I chose to live my life and I show my love having him as such a big part of our daily lives. Though I am suprised my mom hasn't wiped out a pic of me and him from the 80s and waxed poetic....lol.

[Nonny]

My dad is OK, an I'll call him later today, but I'm not going to jump on the FB AWing that is going on.

Father's Day just kind of makes me sad actually, because my H and his dad were super close, but my FIL passed away over 10 years ago. In some ways it would have been better if my dad had passed instead of his, because the hole in our hearts wouldn't be so big. (That's my flameful I guess, but shouldn't be construed as me wanted my dad to die, just me wishing my FIL was still around.)

[hulley]

My father has been in and out of my life, mostly out. We reconnected about 4 years ago and were really close for about a year, now he is on his way 'out' again. My only regret is letting him meet my DD. I did not call or send a gift/card. I can't be the only one making the effort in this relationship. I think of him more as a family friend that I catch up with when he or I are in town (he lives in another state). I am really okay with that, and sorry if it hurts him, but I won't pretend he is father of the year when he hasn't called me since probably March or April.

[kaylie]

My dad sucks. I decided about a year ago to cut ties with him completely because once I have children, I don't want him or his wife around and it just seems easier to do it now than it will be once we have kids. This is the first father's day I won't be acknowledging him at all and I'm okay with that part, but he's a bit of a drama queen and I'm worried he's going to text me or try to make a bfd about it.

I guess the flameful part is that my mom and a few of my friends seem to be expecting me to slit my wrists over this. Nobody believes that I'm not on the verge of some major emotional meltdown and I just want them to believe that I'm fine with it. Maybe it's because they have good dads that they would miss were they to discontinue contact, but since I don't, I'm not really missing anything and I'm really really really not sad!

[awkwardpenguin]

FIL is a piece of work and spent the whole call with DW today dumping all his stress on her because he has no coping skills. My dad died three years ago, and I have a really hard time dealing w/ FIL when he's being difficult because hey, at least he has the chance to have a relationship with his kids so maybe he should stop being so ridiculously self-centered. I'm a terrible person.

[gibbinator]

Dad lives all of 45mins away and has seen his grandson 4 times in his life. All because I drove there. He didn't even come to ds's birthday party last week. This makes me sad, but I can't force my dad to socialize. He and my step mom are hermits. I accept them that way and I love my dad. But I wish he'd make more of an effort to visit us.

[MadamePresident]

My parents aren't on FB, so even if I did post something they wouldn't know. But I called my dad and told him Happy Father's day. He is kind of sentimental about it and has always been sure to set the example of calling all parents/grandparents on special days like this.

[LaceyV]

I totally get this. My dad and I get along now but that's only been really in the last year or two. I posted a picture of us but made a status about my husband instead. We did bring him and my mom pizza so good enough for me.

[greekypie]

I *never* do the obligatory FB status or pic thing. It drives me BANANAS. I know my parents wish I would, too.

[steph96]

My flameful: I am annoyed by a single mother that I know. She posted one of those cards wishing a happy father's day to all the men that step up and act like fathers. She is always posting stuff about how her child's father doesn't pay child support or make an effort to see their daughter. She never should have dated someone that she KNEW had 3 kids with 3 different women and has never made an effort to see them or pay child support. She knew what she was getting into. Don't act like your child/relationship will magically be different. Fourth time is not a charm. Don't use father's day to bash him. Keep that crap off facebook.

[agnes]

I went to breakfast with my dad and didnt even post about it in FB.

Afterwards Hand i flew kites and road a mini train with nieces and nephew. I posted those pics

[Deleted]

This post is depressing. I thought it was going to be about how much we ate today at brunch. Today is H's birthday in addition to Father's Day and I only got him cards. We're having a frozen skillet dinner too. I suck at holidays.

[wanderlustmom]

My dad is actually only barely decent. I can think of few happy memories. He's just always been very distant and selfish. That being said, he loves me and financially supported me. He hasn't called in a few weeks, so I sent him a text.

[genet313]

Jun 16, 2013 14:35:19 GMT -5 Nonny said:

My dad is OK, an I'll call him later today, but I'm not going to jump on the FB AWing that is going on.

Father's Day just kind of makes me sad actually, because my H and his dad were super close, but my FIL passed away over 10 years ago. In some ways it would have been better if my dad had passed instead of his, because the hole in our hearts wouldn't be so big. (That's my flameful I guess, but shouldn't be construed as me wanted my dad to die, just me wishing my FIL was still around.)

That's not flameful.  It's hard to lose someone you love very much.  I was superclose to my maternal grandparents, and even my dad loved them very much.  They passed before my paternal grandparents did - his are still alive and kicking, and just miserable, miserable people.  My dad has said many time that the wrong parents died first.  Sometimes, life just doesn't work out like you want it to.  

[StJess80]

My dad is on FB, but I didn't do any of the aw-ing. I'm really trying to ignore the fact that this will probably be his last Father's Day.

[smiley]

I wished my dad a happy father's day on Facebook but I am pretty sure I neglected to tell him in person when we went to breakfast.

The pictures on Facebook are annoying. I don't even know if I have a picture of just the two of us or of just him. NBD in my book.

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