Would you allow your child to sleep over at a house of a

[rex]

Yes. My dad was a single dad until I was 8 and we had friends sleepover. It saddens me that this guy is worried about that.

[papie]

Yes.
I was not allowed sleepovers at all growing up because my parents thought every man was a potential abuser. I will not do the same to my kids.

[saraandmichael]

Jun 23, 2013 21:37:58 GMT -5 farmvillelover said:

Jun 23, 2013 21:25:11 GMT -5 saraandmichael said:

and farmvillelover why do you feel that way about sleepovers?

Just not comfortable with it, I am paranoid & suspicious by nature and it's magnified when it comes to my kid. Maybe the word is overprotective? My parents were the same way.  

And I've seen situations first hand where people were accused of inappropriate behavior with a minor while under the adult's care. It has happened in my extended family and you would've never guessed this about the person. It ended up being true. You just never know.  

that makes sense. and same rules for kids staying at your house? like, not at all? or just close friends (and i say all of this with the assumption that you know the other families).

[Deleted]

I don't really feel comfortable letting my kid sleep at anyone's house.

My kid/s are still little though. Maybe I'll change my kind as they get older.

[10outof9]

I don't have kids, but I wouldn't have a problem with it. I would assume I'd use the same criteria - how well I know the parents, kind of environment, etc - no matter how many moms/dads/etc were home.

[cjeanette]

If I trusted the dad I would not have an issue with it. I am surprised this would be an issue. Maybe because ime sleepovers are group events with at least 3 kids. Kids go home and share every detail.

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[eav2c]

Yes. My dad was a single dad and I had friends sleep over all the time. No one ever seemed to have an issue with it. My dad was awesome, actively involved in my academics and extracurricular programs, so perhaps the fact that he was so involved helped? Nevertheless, I think it is absolutely ridiculous to not allow a sleepover because the child has a single dad. Things happen - parents divorce or even a pass away - I don't base my judgement and trust on gender but rather the person as a whole and people who do really need to get a grip.

[nooby]

Honestly, I would have a really hard time with it. Both myself and a friend were solicited on separate occasions (by different men). I realize that those were isolated situations and the odds of it happening aren't great, but it's just not something I'm comfortable risking.

Edited to add:  But I also think I'm going to struggle with sleepovers in general.  I'm going to have to know the parents pretty well to allow it in any situation.  It amazes me when I think back to my own childhood and how trusting my parents were. 

[Jalapeñomel]

Jun 24, 2013 6:34:35 GMT -5 nooby said:

Honestly, I would have a really hard time with it. Both myself and a friend were solicited on separate occasions (by different men). I realize that those were isolated situations and the odds of it happening aren't great, but it's just not something I'm comfortable risking.

Edited to add:  But I also think I'm going to struggle with sleepovers in general.  I'm going to have to know the parents pretty well to allow it in any situation.  It amazes me when I think back to my own childhood and how trusting my parents were. 

At a sleepover of a house where your parents knew the dad?

[mrssandro]

Yes. Mom was single. Lots of friends would stay over. I wouldn't care if it was a single father.

[nooby]

Not sure if my friend's parents knew the dad that approached her, but my parents knew the dad that approached me. No one ever would've suspected this guy though. He was very well known and liked in the community, involved in his church, a little league coach... just the perfect dad, on paper.

[hopecounts]

Yes with the same rules as for any sleep over (must know the dad, have contact info for the dad/home etc.)

[eav2c]

Jun 24, 2013 6:58:44 GMT -5 nooby said:

Not sure if my friend's parents knew the dad that approached her, but my parents knew the dad that approached me. No one ever would've suspected this guy though. He was very well known and liked in the community, involved in his church, a little league coach... just the perfect dad, on paper.

I am really sorry that happened to you and your friend. I can understand your position but don't necessarily agree but I get your stance due to your history. So, should we all be weary of letting our children sleepover at a house with older brothers too? My mom was raped at 11 years old by a friends older brothers (two of them) at a sleepover.

There are a lot of family dynamics to consider and I just don't think dads are the only thing be concerned about. I think just follow your gut, get to know the family as a whole, and go from there. I would never base my decision on gender alone though.

[nooby]

Jun 24, 2013 7:10:10 GMT -5 eav2c said:

Jun 24, 2013 6:58:44 GMT -5 nooby said:

Not sure if my friend's parents knew the dad that approached her, but my parents knew the dad that approached me. No one ever would've suspected this guy though. He was very well known and liked in the community, involved in his church, a little league coach... just the perfect dad, on paper.

I am really sorry that happened to you and your friend. I can understand your position but don't necessarily agree but I get your stance due to your history. So, should we all be weary of letting our children sleepover at a house with older brothers too? My mom was raped at 11 years old by a friends older brothers (two of them) at a sleepover.

There are a lot of family dynamics to consider and I just don't think dads are the only thing be concerned about. I think just follow your gut, get to know the family as a whole, and go from there. I would never base my decision on gender alone though.

Yeah, you're right.  Like I said, sleepovers in general are going to be really tough for me to swallow, regardless of what the situation is.  I don't want my kid to miss out on those experiences, so I know I'll need to compromise somehow (and not just always having them at my house). 

[Deleted]

Jun 23, 2013 21:46:38 GMT -5 farmvillelover said:

Jun 23, 2013 21:42:14 GMT -5 saraandmichael said:

that makes sense. and same rules for kids staying at your house? like, not at all? or just close friends (and i say all of this with the assumption that you know the other families).

Gah, I don't know. My little guy is only 17 months and I haven't had to make that choice yet! With very close friends, sure. But I'm going to go with likely NO on other kids.  There is plenty of fun to be had during waking hours.

I 1000% agree with you.

[BaliHai]

Yes.

[Deleted]

NO! If he is single there must be a reason he isn't married and is probably a pedophile.


HOW ridiculous does that sound? I don't think it matter if it is a single dad, single mom, unmarried or married couple. I would need to know the person (or persons) and that is how I would decide if my child could stay at their house. Their marital status wouldn't factor into it.

[Jalapeñomel]

Jun 24, 2013 9:59:08 GMT -5 @booby said:

while i don't want to rag on anyone's choices, it seems a shame to be that over protective as not to allow the occasional sleepover with a child's new friend or a classmate (whose parents you might now be bff with).

i grew up with a girl who NEVER slept over at someone's house her entire childhood or teenage-years. literally, the first time she slept away from home (that wasn't her grandparetns house or her aunt's house) was when she left for university. she was a good kid, no lie. she was BFF with this other girl i know and their parents were SUPER close friends with those parents. and still - never was she allowed to join in on a sleepover.

i'm sorry, but this is fucking weird given the circumstances. i don't know how her parents slept at night after this girl went away to school, since they never allowed her a chance to branch out much as a teenager. you know?

I had a classmate like this too, and eventually people stopped asking her to do things. I felt bad for her. 

[lilafowler]

I LOVED sleepovers growing up-I don't want to take that kind of fun from Eleanor. Obviously it depends on the family, how well you know them, blah blah...but yes, I knew of a girl who wasn't allowed sleepovers or play dates, either-and she was kind of seen as the freaky kid with crazy parents.

[jojoandleo]

There are a lot of scary things in this world. Being single does not make a man any more dangerous, so I find it incredibly silly to single them out as a danger. I think you have to do the best you can. Get to know the parents, do a background check if you must, and trust your gut. I get the no sleepovers more than the single dad hate, but I think it sucks to have your kid be left out. However, you have to do what you have to do as a parent.

[lightbulbsun]

I slept over my friend's dad's house all the time. The court gave him custody for a reason - he was a nice, normal dad and her mom was a hot mess.

[papie]

Jun 24, 2013 9:59:08 GMT -5 @booby said:

while i don't want to rag on anyone's choices, it seems a shame to be that over protective as not to allow the occasional sleepover with a child's new friend or a classmate (whose parents you might now be bff with).

i grew up with a girl who NEVER slept over at someone's house her entire childhood or teenage-years. literally, the first time she slept away from home (that wasn't her grandparetns house or her aunt's house) was when she left for university. she was a good kid, no lie. she was BFF with this other girl i know and their parents were SUPER close friends with those parents. and still - never was she allowed to join in on a sleepover.

i'm sorry, but this is fucking weird given the circumstances. i don't know how her parents slept at night after this girl went away to school, since they never allowed her a chance to branch out much as a teenager. you know?

i had no idea we grew up together. . I wasn't even allowed to sleep over at my cousins' house. Wtf mom?

[Jalapeñomel]

Jun 24, 2013 10:37:47 GMT -5 Que? said:

Jun 23, 2013 21:37:58 GMT -5 farmvillelover said:

Just not comfortable with it, I am paranoid & suspicious by nature and it's magnified when it comes to my kid. Maybe the word is overprotective? My parents were the same way.  

And I've seen situations first hand where people were accused of inappropriate behavior with a minor while under the adult's care. It has happened in my extended family and you would've never guessed this about the person. It ended up being true. You just never know.  

I think I'm with you here. I answered no to the poll, because it was just my first instinct to do so. I'm not sure why I feel this way, or how much my feelings will change over time, but right now, it is a really prevalent fear of mine that my daughter will be violated in some way. I know this is somewhat irrational, but then I think about how nobody suspects most molesters of being the monsters that they are, and there are just certain risks I'm not willing to take, no matter how mitigated they may be. 

So you won´t let your child sleepover at anyone´s house or just the house of a single dad?

[Gato]

Yes.  A female is as likely to be abusive/out of whack as a male.  As a child,  I went over to some pretty crazy houses where both the mom and dad were there, too.

[joshlyman]

Yes.

[game blouses]

Like other posters said, I'd allow it if I knew the guy (the same if it was a married couple or single mom). But I do get his perspective. It's unfortunate but I can see why he'd be wary of having kids over without another adult there. As a teacher it's drilled into our heads to NEVER BE ALONE WITH A KID, if only for our own protection.

[stinkyfeet]

As long as I knew the parent well enough then their status as a single dad or mom wouldn't matter.  I won't let my children spend the night at a married couple's house if I don't know then either, so no difference

[Deleted]

I think I'd personally be more worried about the older siblings doing something than the dad. But then again my older step sisters were the ones that did inappropriate things to my sister and I while we were with my step-dad and my mom was at work.

[gozf]

I used to think I was sheltered. But I went to sleepovers, and I currently have no problem with my future hypothetical children going to them, either.

[textbookcase]

We still don't let the girls sleep anywhere if we don't know the parents really, really well. That said, one of our bffs is a single dad and I would let the girls sleep over there any time. We are really just starting to let them sleep at houses other than cousins. When they are in middle/high school I'm sure we'll be less strict about it. Cambria will probably have a sleepover party for her 10th bday, which is when I started having sleepovers as a child.