One of my BFF's in elementary school lived with her single alcoholic mother. Dad was out of the picture. It wasn't until I slept over at her house and saw how ridiculously out of control her mom was, did I realize this. I was so scared and uncomfortable and I can't even listen to Cyndi lauper without thinking about it. (We both shared an ear on our walkman and listened to her tape over and over again so we could go to sleep.) Her mom would come in and lay with us and cry. It was horrifying at age 9.
So I guess I am uncomfortable with either parent in a way. Would I let my daughter sleep over at her friend's single dad's house. Probably not. Will she go to sleep overs when she's a teen when there are 3 or more there? Most likely. Like Farmer, I want to make sure she's of the age to know when somethings off. Until then, I don't trust a whole lot and it has more to do with overall secret behaviors. And that could really be anything....
One of my BFF's in elementary school lived with her single alcoholic mother. Dad was out of the picture. It wasn't until I slept over at her house and saw how ridiculously out of control her mom was, did I realize this. I was so scared and uncomfortable and I can't even listen to Cyndi lauper without thinking about it. (We both shared an ear on our walkman and listened to her tape over and over again so we could go to sleep.) Her mom would come in and lay with us and cry. It was horrifying at age 9.
So I guess I am uncomfortable with either parent in a way. Would I let my daughter sleep over at her friend's single dad's house. Probably not. Will she go to sleep overs when she's a teen when there are 3 or more there? Most likely. Like Farmer, I want to make sure she's of the age to know when somethings off. Until then, I don't trust a whole lot and it has more to do with overall secret behaviors. And that could really be anything....
wow, that's not a great memory to have, is it? what did your friend say about it at the time? anything?
She was embarrassed and said that her mom scared her. I felt awful for her. Our friendship wasn't really the same after that weekend and I feel bad about it now. I turned down invitations to stay at her house and she was too embarrassed to come stay at my house when we invited her over. When I went home that weekend I told my mom about how "Bree's mom stunk like beer" and that was all I really needed to say to open my moms eyes. She had NO idea.
ETA: Friend had also told me that this is what happens every night at her moms and sometimes on Sunday mornings after church. So this wasn't a one time thing.... She also stayed with her grandmother a couple times a week too.
Post by formerlyak on Jun 24, 2013 13:48:03 GMT -5
I hope parents let their kid have a sleep over with ds when he is with his dad. He's got the pool at his townhouse complex, so I'd think it would be a fun sleep over!
I was cool with the idea of sleepovers for my hypothetical kids until I became a DA. I just encountered too too many incidents of sleepovers gone wrong regardless of how close the families were. Offenders were all across the board - parents, friends/relatives of the parents, older siblings of the host kid, friends of the older sibling, other attendees, etc.
I also have personal experience.
Now that I actually have a kid, my anti- sleepover stance has only gotten stronger.
ETA: I won't go as far as saying no sleepovers ever for DD, but I would really need to consider the whole situation on a case by case basis. And I'd probably be freaking out the whole time she was away.
Post by BunnyMacDougal on Jun 24, 2013 16:49:50 GMT -5
I voted special snowflake.
Yes for: friend of H's, someone we've met outside the sphere of school/activities.
No for: all others. Sorry, can't be too careful. Obviously this would change if the circumstances were such that we had a lot of exposure to the guy and got to know him pretty well.